The Soulmate Trap: Why ‘The One’ Can Undermine Love
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The Soulmate Trap: Why ‘The One’ Can Undermine Love
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About this listen
**Sorry for the delay, my hosting site was having technical issues for over a day**
On this week's episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard examines a new Institute for Family Studies article that challenges the soulmate script and explains how social media, dating apps, and AI can distort expectations about romantic relationships (https://ifstudies.org/blog/rethinking-the-one-how-the-soulmate-script-distorts-romance)
The episode contrasts ‘soulmate’ thinking (destiny beliefs) with a growth mindset, describes the illusion of perspective created by abundant choices, and explains why lasting partnerships require investment, commitment, self-expansion, and balancing novelty with predictability.
Research discussed shows growth beliefs predict steadier satisfaction over time, while destiny beliefs encourage quick judgments and relationship instability.
Dr. Shepard also offers practical advice in Ask Dr. Shepard on maintaining close friendships as an adult: schedule check-ins, use asynchronous communication creatively, plan shared activities, and make consistent investments of time and attention.