On this week's episode: It's been 12 years worth of weeks this month ... We all continue to be more qualified to run the FBI than Kash Patel ... And thanks to Donald Trump, the Strait of Hormuz exists in a quantum state of close-open.

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Headline Sources:

Pete Hegseth does war crimes, calls media "pharisees", and quotes Pulp Fiction Ezekiel: https://thehill.com/policy/defense/5834822-hegseth-pulp-fiction-bible-reference/
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/16/us/politics/hegseth-military-iran-blockade.html

Melania’s insane speech that nobody asked for: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/09/us/politics/melania-trump-jeffrey-epstein.html https://epsteinexposed.com/reports/melania-epstein-april-2026

LIV golf is collapsing, which is awesome: https://www.news.com.au/sport/golf/liv-golf-on-brink-of-collapse-as-saudi-backers-consider-pulling-funding/news-story/00e48c301b5d90d0249035c959958ea4

While Iran gets paid for oil in crypto, let's not forget all the giant crypto scamming: https://www.thestreet.com/crypto/markets/actor-ben-mckenzie-slams-bitcoin-on-jon-stewart-show

Mayor Mamdani is doing a great job:
https://www.nyc.gov/content/100days/pages/map

Kid Rock’s music tour is a sad, pathetic mess: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-country/rock-the-country-tour-prices-drop-jelly-roll-drops-out-1235548014/

On this week's episode: "Iran So Far Away" becomes more than a Flock of Seagulls song ... Virtual reality will get all the more virtual by existing less ... And the Trump cabinet gets some sweet new kicks for their Foot Klan.

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patreon.com/skepticrat

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facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars

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quince.com/skepticrat
mintmobile.com/skepticrat
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Headline Sources:

Trump starts looking for an off ramp in Iran: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/21/us/politics/trump-iran-offramp.html

98th annual Academy Awards: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/15/movies/oscars-winners-list.html

Former DOGE guy can't define DEI in deposition video - judge orders video taken down: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/13/nyregion/doge-depositions-musk-lawsuit.html
https://abcnews.com/Politics/groups-fight-release-doge-deposition-videos-after-judge/story?id=131150741
DOGE was even dumber than we thought: https://fortune.com/2026/03/19/doge-cancelled-350000-hvac-grant-dei-lawsuit-elon-musk/
https://mashable.com/article/former-doge-employees-deposition-inside-look-elon-musk-agency

Zuckerberg reminds everyone that he’s not a business genius, he was just lucky: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/19/technology/mark-zuckerbergs-metaverse-vr-horizon-worlds.html

Trump makes a Pearl Harbor joke to the Prime Minister of Japan: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/19/us/politics/trump-japan-pearl-harbor-oval-office-takaichi.html

Rubio, Vance wearing clown shoes because Trump is obsessed with Florsheim: https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/13/style/rubio-vance-big-shoes-florsheim-cec
https://www.wsj.com/style/fashion/trump-florsheim-shoes-tucker-carlson-jd-vance-bessent-448567ab
Megyn Kelly feuding with Mark Levin about micropenis:
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/03/mtg-megan-kelly-have-bizarre-feud-over-fox-news-hosts-genitals/

On this week's episode: The news plays our least favorite repeats of the 90s ... Reform UK will tell us that voting for any party other than them is cheating ... And Kristi Noem gets old yellered but she might need to get shot by a puppy if she wanders back.

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groundnews.com/skepticrat
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Headline Sources:

War with Iran:
https://www.theinternet.boingsploosh.net
Polymarket bans "nuclear detonation" bets:
https://ground.news/article/2a768216-a0a1-44c0-8b14-e57702bfe1fb

Lord Mandelson arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office - BBC News: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cew8jde9pxqt
Andrew released under investigation after arrest on suspicion of misconduct in public office - BBC News: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx28yel4811o

Callers to Washington State hotline press 2 for Spanish and get accented AI English instead:
https://apnews.com/article/washington-dol-spanish-accent-ai-3a1b8438a5674c07242a8d48c057d5a3

Kristi Noem fired and replaced with a guy named Markwayne:
https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/06/politics/kristi-noem-lost-trump-markwayne-mullin

Green party wins Gorton and Denton byelection, pushing Labour to third place: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/feb/27/green-party-wins-gorton-and-denton-byelection-in-blow-to-keir-starmer
Reform and Tories report ‘family voting’ allegations to watchdog | Byelections | The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/feb/27/family-voting-allegations-gorton-and-denton-byelection-tories-reform-watchdog

Osaka stunned by anonymous gold bar gift worth $3.6M to fix aging water pipes:
https://apnews.com/article/japan-osaka-gold-donation-water-pipes-2f2e68017b7b041858c2de46a67be7ab