We explore how the argument isn't really about who does what, but about Brian's desperate cry to be seen and valued for his contributions. His hurt comes out as anger and protest, but underneath lies a deep-seated feeling of being unworthy that stems from his childhood and his parents’ divorce.

This episode reveals the powerful shift that occurs when protest gives way to pain. The turning point isn't a logical solution to dividing chores; it's the moment Brian's raw vulnerability finally reaches Bethany, instantly softening her heart. It’s a profound lesson that true connection isn’t born from strategy or proving a point; it’s born from the courageous act of showing our wounds.

This week’s prompt: Think about a time you fought about fairness or "50/50" in your relationship. What was the deeper feeling or unmet need hiding beneath the logistics?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

What is the emotional cost for the partner who is left behind in the silence? This week, we turn to Bethany’s side of the story to understand her experience of being on the receiving end of Brian's threats to leave. We explore the cycle of confusion and anxiety that begins the moment he emotionally withdraws.

We journey into the pain Bethany so often holds inside—the feeling of being punished for a crime she doesn’t understand, triggering her deepest fears of failure and abandonment. For someone who has never been the one to threaten divorce, this dynamic leaves her feeling like the "bad guy," responsible for a rupture she doesn't know how to fix.

This episode reveals the profound shift that happens when pain is shared from a place of pure vulnerability. By giving voice to her sadness and fear, Bethany bypasses Brian's defenses, activating his empathy for the first time and proving that speaking from the heart can build bridges where frustration once built walls.

This week’s prompt: Reflect on a time you felt left in silence by a partner. What story did you tell yourself in that silence, and what was the core fear underneath it?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationhip.com. Your submission might be featured in a future episode.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
• Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

What happens when the fear of being hurt makes leaving feel safer than staying? This week, we dive deep into Brian and Bethany’s journey as Brian shares a distressing dream and a painful childhood memory that reveal the roots of his mistrust and his instinct to detach when he feels trapped.

We explore how Brian’s nervous system drives him to make empty threats to leave, leaving Bethany hurt and confused, while underneath, his fear of abandonment and betrayal runs deep. This session highlights how these reactive moments aren’t attempts to hurt each other, but survival strategies masking vulnerabilities that need healing.

This episode is a powerful reminder that the fears and wounds beneath conflict don’t create new problems—they expose the ones already there. The central challenge becomes clear: can Brian and Bethany learn to turn toward each other’s fear, instead of letting it drive them apart?

This week’s prompt: Reflect on a time when fear made you want to pull away from your partner. What was the deeper need or vulnerability underneath that fear?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
• Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime