More than 40% of Americans have an anxiety disorder. Even more alarming, 32% of adolescents between the ages of 13 and 18 have an anxiety disorder. With such profound statistics, there is no doubt that parenting and anxiety need to be addressed collectively.

You may have heard the phrase hurt people hurt people. And this is especially true if one does not heal from the past. This may be true for parents and can be made worse when anxiety is present. Hurt can be inflicted intentionally or unintentionally, but without healing, hurt passes from one generation to the next.

Lisa Brenninkmeyer said, "Suffering not transformed is transmitted. Satan wants us to say I was wounded, now I will wound." Her quote seems to be directed more at the person who intentionally hurts others, but the reality is that if we do not transform our suffering, we ultimately hurt others, no matter what. And, we continue to hurt ourselves.

The word suffering may feel a little extreme when it comes to anxiety. However, anxiety can be debilitating and can lead to outbursts of anger due to irritability and an inability to cope. When this happens, the people in the path of the anxious person get hurt. And when that happens — once or repeatedly — suffering ensues and builds. Relationships are often damaged and maybe, over time, even destroyed.

For parents, it is crucial to heal from past wounds and navigate anxiety in order not to bring past hurt into our parenting.

Any time there are unhealed wounds, there is a risk of increased anxiety. Oftentimes, when people are wounded, they are angry and have not taken the initiative to forgive. Unforgiveness can cause an increase in anxiety. We know that God calls us to forgive. If you have someone you need to forgive, pray about it. That sounds simple, but the Lord can and will soften your heart. It is important to note that granting forgiveness does not mean you will forget the hurt caused by someone else. But you can forgive and set boundaries so the hurt doesn't continue.

When we've been hurt, we may be tempted to harden our hearts. Instead, we can harden our exterior by establishing boundaries while softening our hearts to allow for forgiveness, love, and compassion without holding onto past hurts. Once we make this effort and continue to pray for the Holy Spirit's guidance and strength, we will see transformation. With transformation, anxiety will decrease. You will be less likely to overreact when someone, like your child, spouse, or even your parent, aggravates you or reminds you of a past wound.

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In a world where we continuously seek ways to make a difference, the power of sharing our experiences and insights has never been more crucial. Whether you're driven by a sense of purpose or a desire to impact others positively, speaking can be a transformative tool in your journey. Unfortunately, many individuals feel a calling to share their message, but are often held back by uncertainty and self-doubt. However, if you have an impactful message, we want to help you start speaking today to share your story and make a difference.

Your Unique Message to Share

Everyone has a story or perspective that deserves to be shared. It's common to compare our stories to others, wondering if they are significant enough. Remember, what seems ordinary to you might be life-changing for others. The value of your message lies in its authenticity and relatability, not in pomp or spectacle. Embrace this reality and step forward to share what makes your journey unique.

Start Speaking: Find Your Focus

If you want to start speaking, clarity is your friend. Begin by defining what you want to be known for—your speaker statement. This involves identifying who you can help and how your speaking can facilitate that transformation. Specificity in your message enables you to connect with the right audience. Rather than trying to cover numerous topics, focus on one area where your insights can have the most significant impact.

Overcoming the Fear of Speaking

For many, anxiety and fear are significant hurdles to becoming a speaker. Shifting from seeing public speaking as a performance to viewing it as a service can make a huge difference. By focusing less on yourself and more on the needs of your audience, the pressure to be perfect diminishes. Think of yourself as a lighthouse, guiding others with your insights, instead of a spotlight, seeking validation.

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In the realm of spiritual communities, few topics are as sensitive or impactful as church hurt. This phenomenon affects individuals across various denominations and can profoundly influence one's faith journey. Understanding and healing from church hurt is essential for maintaining and rebuilding a healthy relationship with Jesus.

Church hurt stems from negative experiences within religious settings, such as emotional turmoil, spiritual abuse, or feeling ostracized. It does not discriminate among denominations; it can happen anywhere and to anyone. Recognizing this is crucial to navigating the complicated emotions involved and finding ways to heal.

Healing from church hurt often involves acknowledging the pain and finding supportive environments to express it. Talking with trusted individuals who understand or have experienced similar struggles can be invaluable. Recovery is not about finding an immediate solution but about gradually rebuilding trust and faith.

Tools and resources can offer guidance in recognizing and addressing hurt resulting from others in the church community. Such resources help individuals identify red flags and articulate their feelings. Seeking external perspectives can shed light on situations and clarify if certain behaviors are problematic or dismissive in religious contexts.

While healing from the hurt of individuals within church organizations, it is vital not to generalize all religious communities based on one experience. Positive, nurturing faith communities do exist, and taking the time to find them can offer renewed faith and fellowship. Remember, it's about finding a place that reinforces spiritual well-being and growth.

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Website for Mary DeMuth

Additional resources you will find helpful:

Mary DeMuth - You Need to Meet These Women of the Bible (They Are Just Like Us) - Episode 398

Rebecca George - Ditch the prosperity gospel. Trust God's Timing. Episode 381

Download the free eBook: 15 Journaling Prompts and Scripture Verses