I'm sharing this episode again as it's one that many of you listen to frequently.

If your parenting plan is not working or there has been a change in yours or your child’s lives to where the parenting plan no longer reflects the actual needed arrangements for the child, what do you do?

If you are coparenting with a narcissist, broaching a change in the parenting plan can feel extremely scary. You know that it will be a catalyst for increased engagement and conflict. So, what steps can you follow that will help minimize the conflict and increase the likelihood of a change?

A change in circumstance might be (not an exhaustive list):

• A change in address outside of the parenting plan agreement
• A change in school
• A change in the child’s medical or mental health providers
• A change in the child’s needs that the current parenting plan does not address
• A loss of job that will have an impact on the current parenting plan
• Abuse or Neglect
• Co-parent is not following the orders AND it is causing harm to the child

If you feel like you need to broach a change in the parenting plan, there are some steps that you can take that will protect you and will increase the likelihood that the plan will be modified.

• Send the initial message to “put the concern on your co-parent’s radar”
• Start to accrue data and evidence that the concern is negatively impacting your child and what needs to happen to remedy this
• Send a second email stating that the problem is still present, share some of the data, and then write a clear ask of what needs to be done to remedy the situation.
• Be prepared for your ex to fight back and be an A-hole
• Be prepared for the next possible steps in a worst case scenario

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If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

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Enjoy this fan-favorite rerun episode with my guest, Kate Amber. What the heck is coercive control anyway? If you have experienced domestic violence or narcissistic abuse, you have experienced coercive control. And it’s likely that you have experienced it in ways and by people and systems that are outside of your romantic relationship.

In this episode, I have an expert on coercive control, Kate Amber, MS that is going to break it all down for you. We look at the most common challenges that survivors face as they work through the larger systems and she shares her BioPsychoSocial Quicksand Model as a framework for how professionals in the system can identify coercive control in these cases.

In this model we look at the D's:

• Double Standards
• Double Binds
• Double Team
• DARVO

The E's:

• Ensnare
• Entrap
• Exploit
• Preventing Escape

And the F's:

• Force
• Fraud
• Fear

These are all used to maintain control over the target.

Kate Amber, MSc, is the founder of End Coercive Control USA (ECCUSA) and an international speaker, consultant, trainer, writer, and expert witness on domestic abuse, coercive control, and extremist groups. She holds advanced certifications in psychology, leadership, human rights, and advocacy, and her award-winning master’s research introduced the BioPsychoSocial Quicksand Model™ of Coercive Control, synthesizing decades of research on abuse, trafficking, cults, gangs, and torture. Kate and ECCUSA have been recognized with multiple Purple Ribbon Awards for survivor leadership and outstanding community education.

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
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Do you ever feel like you “should” be grateful, especially around the holidays — but underneath, you’re still angry, grieving, or exhausted?

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re being human.

This episode explores how gratitude and anger can coexist, why both are valid, and how making room for all of your emotions can actually support your healing after abuse and during post-separation parenting.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why this season can intensify conflicting emotions
• How anger can point to your deepest values
• How to use curiosity and a non-judgemental stance to allow the difficult feelings to coexist with gratitude and peace
• Grounding practices and reflections that allow you to connect with yourself
• How to create holiday traditions that reflect your current reality
• The power of emotional honesty
• Ways to hold space for hope without dismissing your pain

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
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If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

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• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
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• ...