Most affairs don’t begin with a dramatic decision. They begin with something small: a conversation, a shared laugh, a spark of attention that feels harmless. In this episode of The Affair Recovery Room, Tim Tedder explores what happens in those early compromises, when two competing messages show up at the same time. One speaks from the Fog of Self-Justification. The other speaks from the Light of Love’s Promise.

Through a cinematic story featuring Mark, his wife Cindy, and a coworker named Emma, you’ll hear how subtle choices can drift toward betrayal. Along the way, Tim breaks down the psychology of self-justification and how our minds protect our self-image by rewriting the stories we tell ourselves.

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode includes audio dramatizations that could be activating for betrayed partners who are struggling with affair triggers. Portions of today’s content also appear in my article: Consider Your Compromises. Engage with this material in the way that feels safest for you.

Finally, Tim offers four practical steps you can take if you find yourself (or your spouse) wandering into the Fog—starting with revisiting your vows, examining where you’ve honored them or neglected them, and inviting a new kind of conversation in the Light. The episode ends with a steadying question that cuts through rationalization: If a light were shining on this choice, would it look like the love I promised? Would my partner agree?

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/035

Free Fog & Light Exercise

If you’ve crossed a line in your relationship and don’t fully understand how you got there or how to change things, you don’t have to figure that out alone. Let me help you RENOVATE.

Recommended Course: Building Us

Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

Tim Tedder welcomes coach and author Annette Chesney to talk about one of the most confusing and painful dynamics people face in marriage: loving someone who may be on the narcissistic spectrum.

Annette walks us through her four-category Narcissistic Relationship Spectrum, a practical way to identify the differences between normal human imperfection, fear-driven reactivity, calculated manipulation, and the dangerous end of narcissistic behavior. She explains why many partners spend years feeling blamed, confused, and spiritually guilted into staying quiet, and how narcissists often exploit grace, forgiveness, and faith-based values to avoid accountability.

Together, Tim and Annette explore why narcissists rarely change, how they can fool counselors, how narcissism shows up in infidelity, and why partners often blame themselves long after the relationship has eroded their confidence. Annette also shares pieces of her own story.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me?” or felt like you can’t trust your own perceptions, this conversation may be the clarity you’ve been needing.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/034

Free Narcissistic Relationship Spectrum: https://annettechesney.com/spectrum

Annette Chesney Website: https://annettechesney.com

Do you wonder if narcissism may have contributed to your having an affair? Are you curious about change? The RENOVATE Project may be just for you.

Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

In this final episode of Kevin Leaves, we return to Kevin’s story during the third year after he left his marriage and family. By this time, more than two years have passed since he moved away to build a new life with the woman who had been his affair partner. Kevin reaches out again after more than a year of silence, ready to talk about the choices he’s made and the ways they’ve shaped his life. Then again, three months later, I learn about a significant shift in his story.

This episode marks the end of the recorded conversations I had with Kevin. This series is a rare, honest look into the unfolding years after leaving a marriage for a relationship born in secrecy. It is only one story, but there are things we can all learn from it.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/033

Help for Unfaithful Partners: AffairHealing.com/RENOVATE

Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.