In this engaging conversation, Natalie and Angela explore the complexities of communication, particularly focusing on the challenges faced by women in expressing themselves assertively.

They discuss the 'Nice Girl Syndrome,' societal expectations, and the importance of setting boundaries. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, they highlight the need for women to embrace assertiveness while maintaining kindness.

Their conversation also touches on the idea of holding both men and women accountable for their interactions. The girls conclude with actionable strategies for setting boundaries using a "script" they create that will help them sound more assertive while still coming across as polite or kind.

Baby steps!!!

Angela and Natalie spend the first few minutes talking about their Thanksgiving shenanigans, which include pantyhose bowling and a rather large Saran wrap ball full of lip balm and dollar bills.

The girls then discuss the importance of finding one's voice in everyday situations. They explore the challenges faced by individuals, particularly women, in asserting themselves and speaking up when necessary.

Their discussion highlights the societal pressures that often lead to self-censorship and the need for confidence in communication.

They end with challenging each other this week to listen for moments in conversation where they should speak up instead of not saying anything for fear of sounding rude or too assertive. If it's warranted, speak up and say something!

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A few key take-aways:

• There are many opportunities to use our voice in daily life.
• Women often fear sounding rude when speaking up.
• Societal norms can hinder self-expression.
• It's important to assert oneself in conversations.
• Confidence is key to effective communication.
• Speaking up can change the dynamics of a conversation.
• Self-censorship is a common issue for many, especially those with "nice girl" syndrome.
• Finding your voice is a journey of personal growth.

In this Thanksgiving week episode, the Recovering Nice Girls Club dives deep into the dangerous habit of "going along with things" to keep the peace. The girls explore the disconnect between knowing something is wrong in your head but feeling unable to speak up in the moment.

We hope you enjoy our podcast and please remember to follow us! (Thank you!)

Key Discussion Points

1. Gratitude for Shared Trauma The episode opens with a moment of Thanksgiving gratitude. We both express how thankful we are to have a friend who truly understands the specific journey we've been on. Natalie notes that while she wishes she didn't have to go through the trauma, she's glad we're on the path to recovery together.

2. The Mechanism of "Going Along With It" We discuss the internal struggle of the "nice girl."

• The Freeze Response: We describe moments where we clearly saw bad behavior but felt we "shouldn't speak out" or "talk back," leading you to shutting down rather than confronting the issue.

• Rose-Colored Glasses: Angela notes that Natalie's personality type tends to see the glass as half full, which is usually a positive trait. However, in toxic relationships, this positivity can be dangerous because it causes you to ignore reality.

3. Real-Life Examples of Ignoring Red Flags Both of us share vulnerable stories about times when we ignored our gut instincts:

• The Neighbor Incident: Natalie recounted a time an ex-boyfriend was rude to an elderly neighbor regarding parking. Despite fundamentally disagreeing with his actions and thinking he was being a "jerk," she felt stuck living with him and couldn't make him stop. Instead of leaving or forcing the issue, she tried to smooth things over to avoid conflict.

• The Credit Card Stack: Angela shared a major story from her past engagement. Just before the wedding, she discovered her fiancé had a two-inch stack of maxed-out credit cards. Despite this massive financial infidelity and the red flag of him living with roommates in his 30s, she proceeded with the marriage, convincing herself she could help him "fix" it.

4. The "Enabling" Revelation The crucial realization of this episode is that silence isn't just "being nice"; it is enabling. We both realized that by staying and trying to be polite, we were inadvertently allowing these partners to continue their bad behavior. Angela jokingly suggested needing a whistle or a siren to alert each other if we ever start "enabling" someone again.

Conclusion: The episode concludes with a warning to younger listeners: Do not sacrifice your morals or ignore red flags just to be "nice". You cannot love someone into changing, and compromising your values for a relationship is a high price to pay.