The holidays are supposed to feel magical, but for many couples, they quietly become a season of exhaustion, tension, and unspoken resentment.

Behind the twinkling lights and wrapped gifts often sits one overwhelmed partner (usually a mother) carrying dozens of invisible tasks: remembering, planning, budgeting, anticipating everyone’s needs, and holding the emotional weight of “making it special.”

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we peel back the glitter to talk honestly about the mental load of holiday gift giving - why it feels so heavy, why it’s often gendered, and what it’s doing to your relationship.

Drawing from research, real client stories, and lived experience, this conversation isn’t about blaming partners or canceling holidays altogether.

It’s about making the invisible visible, understanding how cultural expectations and perfectionism fuel burnout, and learning how couples can share the load more equitably, without losing joy, connection, or meaning.

You’ll hear why stress around money and gifts so often turns into resentment, how socialization quietly assigns “holiday management” to mothers, and why many well-intentioned partners genuinely don’t see the cognitive labor involved.

Most importantly, you’ll walk away with practical tools to reduce overwhelm, redistribute responsibility, and protect your relationship during one of the most emotionally loaded times of the year.

1. Why holiday gift giving creates a unique mental and emotional burden

2. How invisible labor fuels resentment between partners

3. Practical ways to share the holiday mental load fairly

4. How reducing mental load strengthens intimacy, trust, and presence

This episode is for parents who want holidays that feel connected instead of chaotic and relationships that feel like partnerships, not silent scorecards.

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Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Holidays are supposed to bring us closer… but if I’m honest, for a lot of couples, they do the opposite. They quietly surface tension, resentment, and those unspoken power dynamics no one wants to name.

Have you ever paused mid-holiday chaos and thought, wait… whose holiday is this really? Whose traditions are being centered? Whose are politely tolerated? And what happens when the family traditions we grew up with no longer fit who we’ve become, especially after kids?

That question is what led me to record this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast.

In it, I talk about family traditions after kids and why they can suddenly become such a sensitive issue in relationships. Using psychology, family systems work, and real stories from couples I work with, I invite you to rethink holidays not as sacred rules you have to follow, but as living rituals you get to shape together.

We talk about holiday traditions conflict, cultural invisibility, and those unexamined “this is how it’s always done” norms that carry a lot more weight than we realize. We also look at mental load during the holidays, and why some traditions feel grounding and comforting, while others quietly leave one partner feeling unseen or pressured.

You’ll hear how couples navigate interfaith relationships, intercultural differences, and intergenerational expectations, and how shifting from obligation to intention can genuinely reduce stress and strengthen connection, not just during the holidays, but in the relationship overall.

This isn’t about creating a perfect multicultural celebration or doing more. It’s about designing family rituals that feel like home for everyone in the family.

In this episode, we explore:

1. Why inherited holiday traditions can create tension after parenthood
2. How cultural dominance and invisibility affect couple relationships
3. The psychology of family rituals, bonding, and stress regulation
4. How co-creating traditions supports belonging, identity, and couple connection

If you’re juggling different family backgrounds, feeling pressure to “make everyone happy,” or noticing resentment creep in every holiday season, this episode offers insight and practical, grounded steps, without guilt, perfectionism, or performing the holidays “right.”

Think of it as a gentle reset. One that asks:

What would it look like if our holidays actually reflected who we are now?

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🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

The holidays promise magic, but for many parents, December brings something very different: pressure, exhaustion, emotional overload, and a quiet sense of “I should be enjoying this more.”

In this tender and insightful episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we look at why the season that’s supposed to bring joy so often creates tension between partners, overstimulation for parents, and a mental load that silently grows heavier with every school event, family dinner, and shopping list.

Drawing from real stories and psychological research, we explore the gap between holiday expectations and reality, and how it disproportionately affects couples navigating parenting.

Many parents carry scripts from childhood, cultural pressure from social media, and the emotional residue of “good family” myths that don’t match lived experience.

Add financial pressure, uneven task distribution, and emotional labor, and the holidays can become an annual relationship stress test instead of a bonding moment.

But this season doesn’t have to drain you.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to set boundaries that actually stick, lower holiday stress by realigning expectations, and create micro-rituals that strengthen connection rather than fragment it.

Using evidence-based strategies, we can create a holiday that feels calmer, more authentic, and more aligned with the family you’re building, not the one you think you “should” be recreating.

This is an invitation to simplify, soften, and reclaim the heart of the season.

A reminder that connection matters far more than perfection.

Let’s explore:

1. Why seasonal overwhelm intensifies the mental load for parents
2. The psychology behind holiday expectations vs reality
3. How to reduce relationship stress by communicating early and clearly
4. A deeper emotional insight: how your childhood scripts shape the pressure you feel during December

👇

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com