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The Messy Middle Podcast

The Messy Middle Podcast

By: Erika Leon
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About this listen

The podcast for women navigating the raw, confusing, lonely aftermath of narcissistic abuse and emotional control.


I'm Erika Leon, trauma-informed Abuse Recovery coach, mom of five, and creator of the Six Keys to Unfu*kwithable.


I have walked thousands of women through the part after the leaving where the adrenaline fades, the grief hits, and the world really wants you to just move on.

If you are picking up the pieces, questioning everything, and trying to remember who the fuck you were before you were so carefully erased, you are in the right place.

© 2025 The Messy Middle Podcast
Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 06 | Inner Child Awakening: The Unfu*kwithable Path
    Nov 27 2025

    In this raw and unfiltered episode of The Messy Middle, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most defining moments of my healing journey and why Inner Child Work became Key One in my Six Keys to Unfu*kwithable.

    I’m talking about the truth-telling, throat-tightening, survival-trained younger me. The part of me who learned early to shrink, perform, stay quiet, and swallow every truth just to stay safe.

    I share the deeply personal story of sitting in couples therapy with someone who was actively cheating on me, the gaslighting that nearly broke me, and the one painful moment that ended up becoming my turning point. What was meant to shame me became the spark that led to my biggest breakthrough, my life’s work, and the thousands of women I support today.

    Inside this episode I walk you through:

    • What the inner child actually is and why she drives so much of your relationship patterns
    • Why betrayal hurts long before you have proof
    • How emotionally neglectful childhoods shape the partners we choose
    • The way abusive or emotionally immature people weaponize vulnerability
    • The real reason you felt like a child in your adult relationship
    • How your younger self has been warning you all along

    And at the end, I guide you through a grounding somatic practice that helps you meet your own inner child the way I wish someone had met mine: gently, honestly, and without trying to fix her or dismiss what she needed.

    If you’ve ever felt like a shell of yourself, wondered why you tolerated so much, or questioned whether you’re “just too much,” this episode is going to hit you right in the chest in the best possible way.

    You’re not broken. You’re rebuilding. One felt truth at a time. Take a breath, tune in, and come meet the part of you that’s been fighting for you all along.

    📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

    📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

    🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

    📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

    Show More Show Less
    22 mins
  • 05 | Will This Always Happen to Me? Narcissistic Relationship Patterns
    Nov 20 2025

    In this episode of The Messy Middle, I’m diving into the question I get asked with equal parts fear, dread, and heartbreak: Will this always happen to me?

    If you’ve ever whispered that to yourself after surviving narcissistic or high-control dynamics, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not cursed, broken, or doomed to attract the same person in a different body for the rest of your life. What you are is a human being who learned survival in a world that normalizes manipulation, misogyny, and emotional labor piled onto your shoulders.

    In this episode, I break down what’s really happening underneath that fear.

    I talk about how manipulative people actually operate, the early “tests” they run to see how much they can get away with, and how your body can confuse familiarity with safety. I unpack why chemistry isn’t destiny, why repetition isn’t sabotage, and how your nervous system is simply trying to finish an unfinished story.

    We get into everything from:

    • Why you’re not a narcissist magnet
    • How conditioning sets you up to tolerate too muc
    • The modern rebrand of misogyny and why it matters
    • Why early red flags feel comforting if chaos was once your normal
    • How healing shifts your entire signal
    • Dating as a social experiment

    Most importantly, I walk you through how to rebuild self-trust so deeply that coercive people can’t hook into you anymore.

    When your safety lives inside you, you get to choose differently, walk away sooner, and stand steadier in your feet than you ever have before.

    This isn’t about avoiding life. It’s about building a life your nervous system can actually thrive in. A life that feels like coming home to yourself.

    And no… this won’t always happen to you.

    Let’s talk about why.

    📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

    📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

    🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

    📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

    Show More Show Less
    27 mins
  • 04 | Why Did I Stay So Long in Toxic Relationships?
    Nov 18 2025

    If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why did I stay so long?” after an abusive or controlling relationship — this one’s for you.

    In this raw, unfiltered episode, we break down the real reasons survivors stay — and spoiler alert: it’s not because you’re weak, naïve, or broken. It’s because your nervous system, your hope, your history, and a masterclass in manipulation were all working against you.

    We unpack the shame hidden in that question, the biochemical addiction of intermittent affection, and how childhood wounds, conditioning, and culture keep so many women loyal to chaos disguised as love. She dives into how “reactive abuse” isn’t abuse at all — it’s your body trying to save you — and why your staying was actually your system fighting for safety in the only way it knew how.

    This episode is both a gut punch and a hug. You’ll walk away understanding that you didn’t “waste years.” You were gathering data. You loved deeply. You hoped fiercely. And now, you see.

    💔 Trigger warning: This episode discusses emotional and psychological abuse, trauma responses, and recovery.

    📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

    📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

    🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

    📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

    Show More Show Less
    25 mins
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