When the kids are grown and the house is quieter, the way couples talk to each other starts to matter in new ways. Some patterns get easier. Others get harder to ignore.

In this episode of The Loud Quiet, we’re joined by marriage counselor and author Raffi Bilek for a practical, honest conversation about communication, conflict, and what actually helps couples stay connected during the empty nest years. We talk about why avoiding conflict doesn’t equal good communication, why solving the problem too fast often backfires, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they don’t agree.

Raffi shares insights from years of counseling couples… including why it’s okay to pause a conversation, why “don’t go to bed angry” isn’t always great advice, and how focusing on impact instead of who’s right can change everything. This conversation is especially relevant for couples navigating adult kids, retirement, aging parents, and spending more time together than ever before.

Guest links:

The Couples Communication Handbook (Amazon affiliate link)
https://amzn.to/48QJJps

The Couples Communication book website
https://www.thecommunicationbook.com/

Baltimore Therapy Center
https://www.baltimoretherapycenter.com/

CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro and a quick health PSA
1:20 Meet Raffi Bilek
3:10 Reconnecting after years of focusing on kids
4:50 When adult kids still cause conflict
7:10 Explore first, solve later
9:55 Is conflict actually bad for a marriage?
12:10 Feeling uncomfortable expressing anger
14:05 Generational shifts in communication
16:30 Why “don’t go to bed angry” doesn’t always help
19:00 When agreement isn’t possible
20:45 Focusing on impact instead of facts
23:05 Common conflict topics couples face
25:10 Retirement and being together 24/7
28:00 One communication skill that matters most
29:30 Where to find Raffi and his work

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Holiday food has a way of anchoring a season. We make certain things every year without even thinking about it… and the kids now expect them just as much as we do.

In this episode we talk through the foods we grew up with, the ones that stuck, and the ones we only remember when someone says “remember when…?”

Quick note… The Loud Quiet book is almost ready. If you want early updates and preorder info, here’s the list: https://www.theloudquiet.com/p/book/

Candy canes, Texas trash, haystacks, spiced tea… all the things our parents made without any ceremony. At one point we realize our kids have their own list now too… the pickle platter, the dips, the reindeer mix.
We also talk through the foods we haven’t made in years. Chicken spaghetti, tetrazzini, pistachio salad, all the old casseroles that faded out once the house emptied. Lasagna comes up. So do meatballs.
It’s a simple conversation about how certain foods end up tied to people and seasons whether we planned it or not.

CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
1:20 Holiday foods we grew up with
4:45 The smells and small traditions that defined the season
7:10 The treats our parents made every year
12:25 Christmas Eve Mexican food
13:50 The foods our kids now count on
15:20 How reindeer mix became a tradition
18:00 The dishes that have to be on the holiday table
20:55 The nostalgic meals we rarely make anymore
28:45 Why certain foods stay connected to certain people
29:30 Wrap up

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Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet – Empty Nest Living?
Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:
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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Sometimes saying yes takes you somewhere you never expected… like an EDM show on a Sunday night, surrounded by people half your age and a bass that makes your clothes vibrate. In this episode, Rick and Clancy share what happened when Tanner finally talked them into a Chris Lake show… and why it ended up feeling surprisingly joyful, safe, and honestly pretty fun.And then the week flipped right into Thanksgiving. They talk about having both kids home, the comfort of familiar rhythms, and the strange, tender uncertainty of what future holidays might look like.Big announcement:Our first book “The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter, and Life in the Empty Nest” is coming in early 2026. Newsletter subscribers will get early info, behind-the-scenes notes, and special offers.👉 Join the newsletter here: https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signupCHAPTERS0:00 Big announcement + intro1:15 Saying yes to something wild2:50 Why Sunday made the night doable4:30 Full-circle moments with old friends6:00 The bass that shook our clothes7:40 The surprisingly friendly rave crowd9:25 Realizing we were the “older people”12:55 Sliding into Thanksgiving mode15:20 The holiday that just felt right17:55 What future holidays might look like👋 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet📬 Get early book news + special offers: https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signup🎧 All episodes and links: https://www.theloudquiet.comWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet – Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).#relationships #marriage #recreation #podcast #EmptyNesters #EmptyNesting #Lifeafterkidsleave #Transitiontoanemptynest #Parentingjourney #Reinventingourselves #Newchapterinlife #Emptynestchallenges #Findingpurpose #Rediscoveringhobbies #Relationshipafterkids #Self-discovery #Preparingforanemptynest #Reconnectingasacouple #Growingtogetherafterkidsleave #Familydynamicsafterkidsleave #Supportsystemsforemptynesters #Tipsforsuccessfulemptynesting