In this heartfelt and deeply insightful episode, Kristen introduces listeners to a few of the powerhouse coaches behind Sondera — Chuck, Dan, Karen, and Nina — some of the real MVPs walking clients through life-altering transformation work every single day.

These aren’t just any coaches. They’re trauma-informed, certified in many modalities, and deeply aligned with Sondera’s core mission: helping clients step out of a life lived on autopilot and into a life of conscious design. Kristen and the team peel back the curtain on what coaching really looks like, why it's different from therapy or friendship, and how true transformation happens when safety, trust, and the right tools are in place.

Whether you're curious about coaching, struggling to break old patterns, or wondering how to finally make real change stick — this episode is your behind-the-scenes look into the soul of Sondera’s approach and the humans guiding it.

• Meet four of Sondera’s expert coaches and hear their unique coaching philosophies
• What coaching is not — and why it’s often misunderstood
• The role of adaptive personality types and nervous system responses in personal growth
• Why time management issues are often deeper than just “poor planning”
• The critical difference between reflection vs. rumination
• What makes the Sondera process radically different (and wildly effective)
• Client transformation stories that will give you chills

• Coaching isn’t about “fixing” you — it’s about uncovering the truth of who you already are
• Your survival patterns aren’t your personality — they’re just habits your nervous system learned to stay safe
• Sustainable change isn’t about willpower — it’s about awareness, safety, and support
• Men benefit from coaching just as deeply as women, even if the starting point looks different
• You’re not “bad at follow-through” — you’re likely stuck in a subconscious survival response
• Change doesn’t come from shame. It starts with self-compassion.

“We’re not here to fix people — we help them realize they’re both the problem and the solution.” – Karen

“If you’re waiting for your circumstances to get better, you’ll wait your whole life. Coaching helps you get better.” – Kristen

“Your adaptive personality is not who you are. It’s just how you learned to stay safe.” – Nina

“Leadership coaching isn’t just about work. If you’re wonky at home, you’ll bring that to work — and vice versa.” – Chuck

“Coaches aren’t your friends. We’re not here to co-sign your comfort. We’re here to protect the story you’re writing with your life.” – Kristen

0:00 – Welcome + why this episode is extra special

2:00 – Kristen introduces the vision behind Sondera and its team

3:00 – Meet Karen: executive coach on confidence, clarity, and showing up

6:45 – Meet Chuck: fighting the “default life” and coaching for design

12:30 – Meet Nina: trauma-informed coach bridging mindset and nervous system work

18:40 – Meet Dan: military background, leadership coaching, and redefining resilience

24:00 – Common misconceptions about coaching (especially for men)

33:00 – Why shame never leads to transformation

38:00 – Coaching vs. friendship: why your coach won’t tell you what you want to hear

44:00 – Why you don’t need to “get your ducks in a row” to start coaching

51:00 – The power of assessments, self-awareness, and seeing your growth

1:00:00 – Real client transformation stories from each coach

1:11:00 – Coaching as your “brain trust” to help you write a better story

1:15:00 – Final thoughts + how to explore coaching with Sondera

If you're tired of repeating...

Description:

In this raw and relatable episode, Kristen invites listeners into an honest conversation about one of the most overlooked—but essential—parts of any transformation: the messy middle. From career pivots to personal growth, Kristen shares why this unglamorous phase is where true change actually happens.

Using stories from her own life—unexpected setbacks, frustrating gym reps, snow days without WiFi, and even a drooping houseplant—Kristen makes a powerful case for why resilience, self-compassion, and showing up when it’s boring and hard are the keys to sustainable success.

Whether you're building something new, working through a tough season, or just tired of not seeing quick results, this episode is a must-listen. Kristen gives practical mindset shifts to help you stick with your goals after the excitement wears off—and before the big wins arrive.

• Why most people quit in the messy middle—and how you can be different
• How boredom, frustration, and slow progress are actually signs you're on the right track
• The importance of building "frustration tolerance"
• How to retrain your brain to spot micro-wins and signs of life
• Why downsizing your goals can help you actually follow through
• How to find purpose and pride, even when the results aren’t visible (yet)

• Progress is often quiet, slow, and unsexy—but it's still progress.
• The “messy middle” isn’t a problem; it’s the process that transforms you.
• You don’t need motivation to stay committed—you need consistency.
• Building something meaningful requires boring, repetitive reps over time.
• Boredom is a gateway to creativity, not something to run from.

0:58 – Recording from the basement: Life without internet

2:45 – Why we love beginnings and endings—but struggle with the middle

4:44 – What Kristen’s “skyscraper year” taught her about digging deep foundations

7:34 – Lessons from her daughter’s piano practice (and adult frustration tolerance)

10:13 – Why high achievers struggle when they’re not good at something right away

13:18 – Training your brain to look for signs of life

15:21 – How to stay in the game when results are slow

17:23 – 5 ways to thrive in the messy middle

20:03 – Reflecting on 2025: Measuring internal wins, not just external results

Visit www.kristenboss.com for coaching, courses, and more resources.

• Screenshot and share it on Instagram—tag @thekristenboss so she can shout you out!
• Leave a rating and review to help others discover the show.
• Send it to a friend who’s stuck in the messy middle and needs a dose of real talk

Today Kristen Boss pulls back the curtain on a common struggle so many high-achievers face which is being addicted to the idea of transformation rather than the actual process of it.

If you’re someone who constantly finds themselves buying planners, signing up for new programs, and telling yourself, “This time will be different” only to fizzle out days later? This episode is a must-listen. Kristen introduces the concept of the “Hope Hustler”: someone hooked on the emotional high of fresh starts but who struggles to stay committed when the novelty wears off.

She breaks down the psychology behind this pattern, the nervous system’s role in resistance, and how our obsession with speed and excitement keeps us from real transformation. Kristen also outlines a better way forward — one that prioritizes sustainability, nervous system regulation, and a grounded approach to growth.

• Why dopamine and novelty trick us into starting but not finishing
• How being a “Hope Hustler” erodes self-trust over time
• The four nervous system stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) and how they show up in goal-setting
• Why tolerating boredom is essential for long-term success
• The true cost of chasing intensity over intentionality
• How to build a relationship with process, not just outcomes

If you’re a Hope Hustler, you need to be at the 3-Day Success Rewire Challenge happening December 8-10th!

0:00 – Welcome + Quick Event Announcement

2:00 – The dopamine hit of fresh starts

5:30 – Who is a Hope Hustler?

8:00 – Why desire isn’t the problem — resistance is

13:00 – How our stress responses sabotage progress

19:00 – The cost of false starts and eroded self-trust

25:00 – How to break the Hope Hustler cycle

29:00 – Redefining success: continuity over intensity

32:00 – Final thoughts + How to join the Success Rewire

If this episode resonated with you, leave a quick review or share it on Instagram and tag @thekristenboss—she just might repost you! ❤️

For more resources and to connect with Kristen, visit: www.kristenboss.com