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The Imperfects

The Imperfects

By: Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Ben Crowe - Play School
    Mar 15 2026

    When Ben Crowe, world-renowned professional mentor and leadership coach, tells us his favourite mantra, we listen.

    “I am enough no matter what, but I’m not done yet”.

    📺 If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/-0WWUuxvcyQ

    Back in The Academy of Imperfection FOR THE THIRD TIME, Ben is here to talk to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about purpose, play and love.

    As Ben explains, ‘play’ and ‘love’ mean something different to everyone, however, they are both ridiculously important and explicitly linked. If love is the intention, then play is the action.

    Ben, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to your wisdom bestowed upon us.

    💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    0:00 – Is Ben the Pope?
    11:13 – Acceptance vs compassion, confidence vs belief
    15:14 – Reshaping your belief system
    25:05 – Just Admit It List
    30:42 – The dreaded E word
    37:47 – Reward effort, not outcome
    46:00 – Play deprivation
    51:47 – Talking to teenagers about their career
    1:01:47 – How to be a (anxious) leader
    1:07:04 – Josh’s too generous assumption
    1:10: 14 – Doing it for the right reasons

    🎧Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

    • The Academy of Imperfection - Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/40rkUgd
    • Ben Crowe (Pt 1) - Meet Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/46VlfeK
    • Ben Crowe (Pt 2) - Now BE Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/413kVXL
    • Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/4ruVAkz
    • Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4by6NMl
    • Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4bAomLD

    📖 Things to read

    • Where The Light Gets In, by Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/4s04xmN
    • The Courage To Be Disliked, by Eckhart Tolle - https://bit.ly/411Qbq4

    🎧 Things to listen to

    • How Ben Crowe Dads - https://bit.ly/4bidPDH

    😃If you liked this episode, check out these!

    • Bronnie Ware - What Are Your Future Regrets? - https://bit.ly/40lcG9p
    • Emma Murray - How Mindfulness Actually Works - https://bit.ly/4lpS5dR

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 23 mins
  • Matt Preston - Only 14 Summers Left
    Mar 8 2026

    According to Matt Preston, he only has 14 more summers. And he’s determined to make the most of them.

    💌Join 5,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Known predominantly for his role on the inaugural (and incredibly successful) seasons of MasterChef Australia, alongside his excellent choice of cravats, Matt Preston is a recognisable face in most Australian households.

    Joining Hugh, Ryan and Josh in the studio (in yet another incredible outfit), Matt delicately talks through the importance of having a conversation with your parents about end-of-life care.

    In a decision that requires both deep emotion and administrative focus, Matt draws from his experience with his grandmother, and then his mother, about how to ensure the people you love are nurtured, cared for, and celebrated in the way they would have wanted.

    Matt, thank you so much for joining us.

    0:00 – The typo to end all typos
    9:13 – Every family has a scandal
    24:34 – The unknowables of epilepsy
    30:45 – Grieving what could have been
    40:44 – Mission of mortality: make it count
    44:47 – Parenting not like your parents
    53:40 – Conversations about end-of-life care
    1:07:35 – The secret ingredient to marriage
    1:13:46 – Logistics of death and dying

    If you want to watch the full episode (and see Matt’s outfit), follow this link - https://youtu.be/sEN8Mfapi6Y

    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

    • Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/476XBfg
    • Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4aM7bqd
    • Christie Whelan Browne - Unbreakable - https://bit.ly/4ukPhTk

    📺Things to watch

    • The Hospital - In The Deep End - https://bit.ly/4rYN6mw
    • Croquenbouche Masterchef Episode - https://bit.ly/3OILYVG

    📖Things to read

    • Big Mouth, by Matt Preston - https://bit.ly/4cUigXG

    🩵SUDEP Support Services

    • SUDEP Action - https://sudep.org
    • Epilepsy Foundation - https://bit.ly/4r9W27I

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 26 mins
  • Dr Emily - Acceptance, That's Radical
    Mar 1 2026

    Pain is inevitable, but suffering does not have to be.

    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist and general provider of wisdom, is here to talk about radical acceptance.

    Drawing inspiration from our holy grail episode with Gina Chick, Dr Em deep dives radical acceptance; what is it, how do we cultivate it, and why is it important to us as human beings?

    According to Dr Em, radical acceptance is not about liking or accepting (insert profanity here) situations or circumstances, or denying an experience, but rather, accepting the pain inside of us to avoid the reaction of suffering.

    Instead of feeling better, it’s about finding a better way of feeling.

    For Hugh, the concept of radical acceptance really hits close to home, and he reflects on how it has changed his life insurmountably.

    Dr Emily, we love ya, and we missed ya.

    If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

    0:00 – Getting the Gina Chick zoomies
    6:23 – The Radical Acceptance origin story
    14:20 – Change how you relate
    21:19 – On a global scale
    27:25 – An Unwanted Guest
    34:42 – The third option
    40:38 – Grieving the loss of what you wanted
    45:28 – Living proof ft. Hugh
    53:18 – Anxious about my anxiety
    1:03:26 – Main character moment
    1:10:17 – Putting it in practice

    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode

    • Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://bit.ly/4b9nAVG

    📖 Things to read

    • Unstuck, by Dr Emily Musgrove - https://bit.ly/4o8JFay
    • The Happiness Trap, by Russ Harris - https://bit.ly/4kRn3Lq
    • The Guest House, by Rumi - https://bit.ly/4kXhaMS

    💻Things to check out

    • Tara Brach - RAIN meditation - https://bit.ly/3MNou0M
    • Alfred Adler - Three Sided Column - https://bit.ly/3P1gSbJ
    • Jill Bolte Taylor - 90 second shelf life of emotions - https://bit.ly/4aV5rtL

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 16 mins
All stars
Most relevant
absolutely loved this episode.
thank you thank you thank you
such a great view and backed by science.
one more embrace

amazing perspective we all need to take on

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I got so much out of this 2-part podcast. All the usual good humoured banter and honest vulnerability from Hugh, Josh and Ryan and very useful insights and tools from Ben - so good I had to take notes 🤚Thank you

Ben Crowe is great value 🤚

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super helpful for understanding myself and the people I'm surrounded by in everyday life situations 🤩 seriously INCREDIBLE!!!

Love it so so much!!!

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Not often you find something so honest and relatable that can have you crying, crying with laughter and pondering your thoughts all in the same minute. I tell everyone about The Imperfects and EVERYONE I’ve told have fallen in love too.

My favourite podcast

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amazing stuff boys very well done and also very compelling love your work lads

yeeewwww

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