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The Imperfects

The Imperfects

By: Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.2025 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Hugo Toovey - The Reality of Surviving Cancer. Twice.
    Oct 26 2025

    Hugo Toovey has beaten cancer, twice. But this is far from the whole story.

    🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

    In this special bonus episode, Hugo joins Hugh, Ryan and Josh to talk about health; how to know when to go to a doctor, how to wrangle with the emotions of being cancer free and how to be vulnerable with the people who love you most.

    Extraordinarily open in the hope that it will help someone else, Hugo discusses his fertility and decision to have kids, how being a parent has effected his outlook on life, and how exhausting it was acting like everything was okay.

    Hugo, you’re a lifesaver.

    If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/00RG9jPCGXs

    🩺Things to do (for your health):

    • Order a Bowel Cancer Screening Kit - http://bit.ly/47A6cYt
    • Check out Hugo’s charity 25 Stay Alive - https://www.25stayalive.com

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌To subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, click here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 14 mins
  • Melanie Bracewell - Untangling a Toxic Relationship
    Oct 19 2025

    Have you ever dated someone you knew, logically, was a bad idea? A puppeteer twenty years your senior, perhaps?

    🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

    Melanie Bracewell has, and she joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer the question, ‘who do you go to advice for? Why?’ (spoiler: it’s not her puppeteer ex-boyfriend).

    Unpacking the disarming realisation that all of our parents were once our age, Mel talks to the guys about making useful mistakes in your twenties, finding a litmus for what loves looks and feels like, and how to make friends with people as an adult (who aren’t already on your netball team).

    Mel bonds with Hugh about the realities of an ADHD brain and the fallacy of thinking you are super organised for something, and most importantly, the burst of self-compassion that can come from a diagnosis.

    Mel, we’ll be your side-by-side friend.

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/NDKke1ATdLE

    🫖Other imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    • Matt Okine - Comedy & Tragedy - http://bit.ly/4q5LW8f
    • Hannah Ferguson - Outspoken but Not Broken - http://bit.ly/4qcCHDy
    • Campbell ‘Struthless’ Walker - Withdrawing with Drawing - http://bit.ly/4q8MHgO

    📺Things to watch

    • Cheap Seats - http://bit.ly/3KNoEnA
    • Mel’s YouTube Special ‘Forget Me Not’ - http://bit.ly/4hbCQ63

    💻Things to check out

    • Meladoodle (Mel’s Tumblr blog) - http://bit.ly/4mXO1AF

    🎟️Things to buy tickets for

    • Mel’s Live Tour ‘A Little Treat’ - http://bit.ly/46ZoZuU

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌To subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, click here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 17 mins
  • Dr Emily - Goals For Your Goals
    Oct 12 2025

    Whether you’re a ‘new year new me’ aficionado, a 5-year planner, or get sweaty at the thought of setting goals, this episode is for you.

    🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

    Joined by our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove, we’re unpacking goal setting, which at its core, is the intention to change our behaviour.

    In this episode, Hugh, Ryan and Josh, with the help of Dr Em, talk through why goals may seem intimidating, and how to reconcile the idea that there is no growth when you are not changing.

    Leading us into a very lovely introduction of a strengths-based approach to change, Dr Em explains SMART goals using Hugh’s bedtime as a real-life example. And for those with a particularly strong inner critic (or rocky relationship with goals), Dr Em gently guides Hugh, Ryan and, especially Josh, through the blessing of allowing ourselves some slack, leading from the feet up and engaging in committed action.

    AND, we learn about temptation bundling and Hugh’s taste in music (not as dirty as it sounds).

    Dr Em, you’re in all of our inner cheer squads

    To watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/bUOUs0UKg_w

    🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    • Chrissie Swan - Honesty - http://bit.ly/3IQd6zq
    • Getting Vulny - Josh’s Big Announcement - http://bit.ly/4h5RI5V
    • Dr Emily - The Meaning of Mid-Life - http://bit.ly/3IZGQtE
    • Dr Emily - What Are Your Values? - http://bit.ly/4mZwvvI
    • Kemi Nekvapil - A Compass for When You’re Lost - http://bit.ly/4q2UFIw
    • Maria Ruberto - Sleep Your Way To Your Top - http://bit.ly/470shxZ
    • Josh van Cuylenburg - Midlife Crisis Averted - http://bit.ly/4mRxLkt

    📖 Things to read

    • Unstuck by Dr Emily Musgrove - http://bit.ly/4o8JFay
    • Rick Hanson, The Inner Caring Committee - http://bit.ly/4h7USGq
    • Katy Milkman, Fresh Start Effect - http://bit.ly/3J2sKrq

    🎧Things to listen to

    • River Deep Mountain High by Celine Dion - http://bit.ly/48Wuk8J

    💻Things to do

    • VIA Character Strength Ranker - http://bit.ly/4h2KYFJ

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌To subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, click here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 16 mins
All stars
Most relevant
absolutely loved this episode.
thank you thank you thank you
such a great view and backed by science.
one more embrace

amazing perspective we all need to take on

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I got so much out of this 2-part podcast. All the usual good humoured banter and honest vulnerability from Hugh, Josh and Ryan and very useful insights and tools from Ben - so good I had to take notes 🤚Thank you

Ben Crowe is great value 🤚

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super helpful for understanding myself and the people I'm surrounded by in everyday life situations 🤩 seriously INCREDIBLE!!!

Love it so so much!!!

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Not often you find something so honest and relatable that can have you crying, crying with laughter and pondering your thoughts all in the same minute. I tell everyone about The Imperfects and EVERYONE I’ve told have fallen in love too.

My favourite podcast

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amazing stuff boys very well done and also very compelling love your work lads

yeeewwww

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I always look forward to Mondays when the next podcast drops. Content is always relatable and delivered in such a way how can people not be more comfortable in talking about their vulnerabilities 🤩

I always look forward to Mondays

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Brilliant stories. So helpful. I love the vulnerabilitea house and hearing Dr Em revisiting past episodes. I am so glad I found this podcast.

My favourite podcast

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so so so good, worth a listen, amazing story, grant has been thru so much

amazing, well worth a listen

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