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The Imperfects

The Imperfects

By: Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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Summary

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Jan Fran - Wars For Your Attention
    May 3 2026

    In a world so divided by hate, how can we choose to show love?

    This week we are joined by journalist Jan Fran, who unpacks the horror of witnessing horror.

    💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Talking through her unravelling relationship with social media and the utter helplessness she feels watching atrocities cut into 30 second clips, Jan explores how becoming a mother cracked her open in ways she didn’t know possible.

    Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer every question in the deck (kidding), Jan and Josh discuss the guilt of turning away, and the consequences of leaning in.

    And finally, Jan bonds with the Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the fundamental importance of deliberately creating community.

    Jan, you are remarkable.

    0:00 – Introducing Josh’s housemate
    8:42 – The art of being vulnerable
    17:19 – I wish I could stop going on social media.
    27:13 – Being cracked open
    35:32 – Deliberately building community
    46:39 – Anticipating the Comments
    53:34 – Optimist by will

    If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube (and see Josh’s Frant banner), follow this link - https://youtu.be/BRoyNdZEZD0

    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    • Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby … New Brain … Matrescence - (33:21) - https://bit.ly/48vQZb5
    • How (and Why) Ryan Dumped His iPhone - (20:50) - https://bit.ly/4tGRXKj

    💻Things to check out

    • The Frant - https://bit.ly/4cSeFaO
    • Ette Media - https://bit.ly/4t1OzIw

    🎧 Things to listen to

    • We Used To Be Journos - https://bit.ly/4dcAGT9

    📱Things to help you set social media boundaries

    • One sec - https://bit.ly/4cEYMpF
    • Brick - https://bit.ly/4vXSzfP

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 11 mins
  • Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence.
    Apr 26 2026

    According to perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist Dr Edna Lekgabe, matrescence is the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. Puberty 2.0, if you will.

    💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Joining us in the academy of imperfection, Dr Edna explores the cataclysmic identity shift women undergo during motherhood, and how partners can best support them.

    Exploring the impacts of mastrescence with Hugh, Ryan and Josh, Dr Edna breaks down the difference between matrescence, anxiety and depression, and why mental illness is the number one pregnancy complication.

    We’re talking hormonal changes, physiological changes, sociological changes that are SO significant, you can see them in brain scans. Matrescence is messy, a developmental earthquake, and it’s not talked about nearly enough.

    This episode might just break the internet (and your heart) wide open.

    0:00 – Introducing Hugh’s perinatal psychiatrist
    7:30 – Matrescence? Huh?
    21:14 – The biology of baby brain
    34:10 – The difference between matrescence and depression
    40:46 – Reasonable worry vs anxiety disorder
    47:40 – The emergence of neurodivergence
    54:04 – Post-natal depression
    1:00:04 – Matrescence after loss
    1:05:50 – Getting to know a brand new person
    1:11:19 – Can women have it all?
    1:18:32 – On a societal scale
    1:26:12 – The paternal earthquake

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

    🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode

    • Bron Lewis - Is It Me or Postnatal Anxiety? - https://bit.ly/4vHn1eh

    📖 Things to read

    • Being Female: Reproduction, Power and Change, by Dana Raphael - https://bit.ly/48jC5EO
    • The Birth of a Mother, New York Times, by Alexandra Sacks - https://bit.ly/3OjB9tp
    • Men at Work: Australia’s Parenthood Trap, Quarterly Essay, by Annabel Crabb - https://bit.ly/4mLE8Hx

    🎧Things to listen to

    • Perinatal OCD: When ‘the happiest time of your life’ turns dark - https://bit.ly/48lx8eK

    📺 Things to watch

    • Alexandra Sacks TEDTalk on Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4tsBcCt

    💻Things to check out

    • Yerkes-Dodson Law: Stress Level - https://bit.ly/4cOT2IO
    • peanut x Tommee Tippee campaign on matrescence - https://bit.ly/4mQDicU

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 35 mins
  • Shane Jacobson - Permission To Laugh
    Apr 19 2026

    How do you make sure your kids are proud of who they are?

    💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Propelled to international stardom after the release of Kenny, Shane Jacobson’s overnight success was years in the making.

    Joining us in the studio, Shane is incredibly generous in sharing the cataclysmic impact that humour and laughter has had on his life from a young age.

    Now at the age where he has attended more funerals than 21st’s, Shane talks about his realisation that he is in for the long mourn, and why he allows himself to feel joy during times of intense grief. Sharing a giggle at a funeral? Absolutely.

    In a beautiful moment of connection with Hugh, Shane chats about parenting the ‘premium package’ (his neurodivergent child).

    Shane, this was incredibly joyful.

    If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/VHaK2fSiasA

    0:00 – A bird in her where?
    3:19 – Butt of the joke
    12:34 – The evolution of good manners
    17:47 – Seeking validation
    27:17 – Giggle at a funeral
    42:00 – Autism, ADHD, Tourette’s: The Premium Package!
    55:58 – Becoming softer
    1:00:25 – Parenting your parents
    1:08:03 – Don’t wait for the moment
    1:18:04 – 5 things we can do to be warmer

    🫖 Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

    • Dr Emily - Truth v Harmony - https://bit.ly/4etnytQ

    📺Things to watch

    • Kenny - https://bit.ly/427rUzv
    • Shane’s AFI win (go to 6:12) - https://bit.ly/48HyzEb

    📋Check-in

    • Questions to ask someone if they might be depressed - https://bit.ly/4dOYuNS

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 34 mins
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All stars
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absolutely loved this episode.
thank you thank you thank you
such a great view and backed by science.
one more embrace

amazing perspective we all need to take on

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I got so much out of this 2-part podcast. All the usual good humoured banter and honest vulnerability from Hugh, Josh and Ryan and very useful insights and tools from Ben - so good I had to take notes 🤚Thank you

Ben Crowe is great value 🤚

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super helpful for understanding myself and the people I'm surrounded by in everyday life situations 🤩 seriously INCREDIBLE!!!

Love it so so much!!!

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Not often you find something so honest and relatable that can have you crying, crying with laughter and pondering your thoughts all in the same minute. I tell everyone about The Imperfects and EVERYONE I’ve told have fallen in love too.

My favourite podcast

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amazing stuff boys very well done and also very compelling love your work lads

yeeewwww

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