The topic of discipline in the 21st century is complicated. Many adults carry the wounds of abusive or unhealthy childhoods, and in response they either swing toward free-range parenting with no structure… or subconsciously replicate the very model they swore they’d never repeat. But biblically, discipline is not optional—and when done God’s way, it produces life, not fear.

Welcome to the HHP Podcast. My name is Chris Franke, Senior Pastor of HFF Church in Oklahoma City. Join me and others from around the country as we talk all things Bible, church, and family. We may be right, we may be heretical—but that’s for you to decide. Drop a like, a comment, a share, subscribe, and let’s get to it.

God disciplines His children—and Scripture calls us to do the same. But biblical discipline isn’t about punishing behavior. It’s about training the heart.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why heart training matters more than behavior management

• How the Torah emphasized the outward, but Jesus emphasized the inner transformation

• Why godly discipline prepares, rather than punishes

• How consistent boundaries build trust, not fear

• Why love without discipline leads to rebellion—and discipline without love leads to resentment

• How empowered obedience creates lifelong trust, while blind obedience creates future rebellion

• Why boundaries are not barriers to freedom, but environments where freedom flourishes

• How calm, consistent authority reflects the heart of the Father (Hebrews 12:6)

• Why the goal is not to control your child, but to steward their heart toward Christ

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Your child’s behavior flows from their beliefs. Change the heart—and the actions follow.

This episode teaches parents to ask heart-shaping questions:

• “Why did you do that?”

• “What were you thinking in that moment?”

• “What was going on inside you?”

Not just: “Don’t do that.”

Rules without relationship create rebellion. Relationship with guidance creates maturity.

• Safety, not fear

• Confidence, not confusion

• Responsibility, not rebellion

• Freedom within structure (Psalm 16:6)

Use calm explanations instead of threats. Connect correction to protection. Say, “I’m guiding you because I love you,” not, “Do this because I said so.”

Ask yourself: Do my boundaries create peace in my home… or fear?

Your job isn’t to control your child. Your job is to guide them toward Christ.