Welcome back to What the Hélène?!, the anti-hustle podcast for ambitious rebels craving more than just burnout recovery. This week, Hélène Caniac dives headlong into the messy, unscripted terrain of grief—not just the aftershock of losing someone, but the covert grief that sneaks in every time you challenge your identity, quit a job, or say yes to real change.

We unpack why every leap forward drags grief along for the ride (spoiler: it’s not just sadness), and why our culture leaves most of us flailing for tools outside of “power through it” or “chin up.” From leaving the military to losing her mom, Hélène shares how the full, gnarly wave of grief is actually baked into transformation—and how the real rebellion is letting yourself feel all of it.

Expect irreverent wisdom, hard-won vulnerability, and a no-bullshit invitation to swap shame for self-inquiry (and a dash of pleasure, because, sorry, you can’t grit your way out of despair).

Timestamps / Chapters:

00:00 – Why Grief Follows Every Big Change
01:40 – Redefining Grief: It’s Bigger Than Loss
03:19 – Leaving the Military: Identity, Regret & Blindside Grief
04:39 – Divorce, Jobs, Relationships: Grieving the Old You
06:44 – Beyond 5 Stages: Grief as Ocean, Not Checklist
08:30 – Grief Transforms: Moving Through the Tunnel
10:15 – Why Society Sucks at Grieving
12:03 – Finding Community & Getting (Uncomfortable) Support
14:24 – The Multitudes Within Grief—Anger, Regret, Relief
16:26 – When Change Messes With Purpose and Connection
18:30 – Burnout as Sneaky Pre-Grief
20:35 – Why Pleasure (Not Just Pain) Belongs in Grief
22:16 – The Real Costs of Avoidance
23:16 – Grieving the World, Identity, and “What Should Have Been”
25:42 – The Unsalvageable: Accepting Permanent Change
26:28 – That Damn Caterpillar: Transformation is Goo
28:10 – What Grief Actually Gives You
31:06 – Losing Her Mom: The “Strong Friend” Gets Broken Open
33:38 – Transmuting Grief into Purpose, Joy & Legacy
35:36 – Trees, Leaves, and Permission to Let Go
36:26 – Facing Your Own Grief: The Next Emotion & What You’ll Carry Forward
37:05 – Wrapping Up – There Is Light at the End (Bring Snacks)

Highlights:

• Grief isn’t an obstacle course. It’s a tunnel—the only way out is through (sometimes crawling).

• We grieve not just people, but whole identities and unlived versions of ourselves.

• Sorrow, anger, resentment, and regret all get bundled together—if you’re “stuck,” it might be leftover grief.

• Pleasure and community aren’t a luxury, they’re how you metabolize pain (even if your inner capitalist winces).

• The world is heavy, and collective grief is real—let’s stop pretending otherwise.

If you’re craving a permission slip to grieve honestly, show up messy, and still believe in new joy, this episode is your lantern in the tunnel.

Ready to claim your next season or want 1:1 support?
Discover the Reclamation at helenecanhelp.com/reclamation