It’s the first show of the year, and hating to be upstaged by a fireworks display, Donald Trump kidnaps a world leader. Tony and Casey spend their New Year's Eve apart, and only one of them has regrets. Casey encourages Tony to get into the self-help business, as they offer ways to make your lives better in 2026.

This week, the boys spend Christmas together and start new traditions. Casey cooks for Tony, while Tony drinks wine and tries to enlist other Leys in a medical injectables scheme. A family health scare has Tony wondering where he falls on an emergency contact list, and the boys recount 2025 highs and lows.

This week, Tony sees a world in which he could kiki with Trump, while the rest of the administration has their faces read to filth by Vanity Fair. The boys partake in that very American holiday tradition of discussing a son’s violent killing of his famous parents, and, due to a glitch, give you a glimpse of the hilarious GPHH after-show that airs on Twitch each week.

This week, Tony turns her self-appointed age of 51. For Tony’s birthday, Casey shows up early to hear how Tony was disappointed by a birthday gift. Conservative women clamor to get that Mar-a-Lago face, Casey considers church, and Tony is reminded why 2025 wasn’t such a terrible year.

This week, the boys reword an old slur. Casey sees Wicked: For Good, and his review leaves Tony less than green with envy. Casey’s birthday vacation to Maui is a mere blip in Tony’s thought process before his real question: Is there a good amount of meth, and Marjorie Taylor Greene announces her retirement from being one of the worst people in America.

Zohran Mamdani wins the New York mayoral election, and the boys find common ground…for 1 minute before arguing about old grievances. The government shutdown leaves the boys concerned for people’s benefits in very different ways. Tony discovers what a “side” is, and Casey helps him manage his feelings about it. All that and the former worst person in the world finally goes to Hell.

It’s Halloween this week, and Tony treats himself to a trip, while Casey gets tricked out of a good time. Tony learns that guessing people’s costumes can be a mistake, women in bars put themselves at risk, and Texas is still a scary place to be a homosexual.

This week, Tony and Casey go out together and have very different experiences. Casey proposes a hypothetical beauty treatment, and Tony is all ears. The boys consider how a third Trump presidency might happen, and Casey shows two signs of aging, which Tony promptly ridicules.