In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, co-hosts Travis Vangsnes and Courtney Williams welcome Corey McKinney, a thought leader in peer pressure and bullying, to discuss his journey as a foster parent and mentor. Corey shares his experiences in basketball, the challenges of fostering, and the importance of instilling hope and structure in the lives of foster children. He emphasizes the need for patience and understanding in the foster care system, and the impact of mentorship on youth development.

The three also discuss the profound impact of foster parenting, particularly focusing on the challenges faced by foster parents and the importance of communication, love, and support for children in care. They explore the unique challenges of parenting teenagers, the prevalence of bullying among youth in foster care, and the critical role that male figures can play in providing stability and guidance. The discussion emphasizes the need for perseverance, understanding, and the power of love in helping foster children navigate their difficult circumstances.

Book Corey to speak at your event or lead a workshop. You can also grab a copy of his book!
https://www.coreymckinney.net/

Takeaways

• Corey McKinney is a thought leader in peer pressure and bullying.
• Basketball teaches valuable life lessons about teamwork and overcoming adversity.
• Corey's upbringing was influenced by a mentor who showed him the importance of discipline.
• Fostering was initially a reluctant decision for Corey, but he eventually embraced it.
• It's crucial to communicate with biological children about fostering to ensure a smooth transition.
• Foster children often come into the system due to circumstances beyond their control.
• Foster parents may face challenges, including the need to return children to the system.
• Creating a structured environment helps foster children develop essential life skills.
• Helping others is a vital lesson Corey instills in the children he fosters.
• Messages of love and support are crucial for children in the foster care system. Foster parenting is about providing a safe place for children to heal.
• Communication and patience are essential when working with teens.
• Setting consistent standards is crucial for behavioral improvement.
• Bullying can have severe consequences; children need to know they are not alone.
• It's important to address bullying from both perspectives: the victim and the bully.
• Male figures in foster care can have a significant impact on children's behavior and development.
• Fostering can start small, like respite care, to ease into the role.
• Everyone can contribute to helping children in foster care, even if not as foster parents.
• The ICE method can help children deal with bullying effectively.
• Love and support are vital for the success of children in foster care.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Foster Friendly Podcast.

Learn more about being a foster or adoptive parent or supporting those who are in your community.

Meet kids awaiting adoption.

Join us in helping kids in foster care by donating $18 a month and change the lives of foster kids before they age out.

Visit AmericasKidsBelong.org and click the donate button to help us change the outcomes of kids in foster care.

In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, hosts Courtney Williams and Travis Vangsnes welcome Shenandoah Chefalo, an author and advocate for trauma-informed systems change. Shenandoah shares her personal journey through foster care, emphasizing the complexities of grief and loss experienced by children in the system. The conversation explores the impact of systems on grief, the challenges of hyperindependence, and the importance of empowering children with choices.

Shenandoah also discusses her memoir as a tool for healing and the significance of curiosity in understanding children's behaviors. This episode highlights the need for a nuanced approach to supporting children in foster care, recognizing that healing is an ongoing journey. Shenandoah and the hosts discuss the complexities of the foster care system, emphasizing the importance of flexibility, community support, and understanding the unique needs of foster youth.

They explore how rules can sometimes hinder rather than help, and the necessity of fostering connections between biological and foster families. The discussion highlights the need for adults to recognize and honor the grief that children in foster care experience, advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to caregiving.

Pickup a copy of her book: "The Best Bunny: The Adventures of Lil Shen (and her inspirational sidekick, Bunny Best)"
https://a.co/d/0iA5k1Tm

Takeaways

• Shenandoah emphasizes the importance of moving from survival to stability and belonging.
• Grief in foster care is often overlooked and not addressed by systems.
• Hyperindependence can hinder the ability to accept help and support.
• Writing a memoir can help organize fragmented experiences and promote healing.
• Ambiguous loss affects children in care, as they miss their previous lives.
• Children in foster care often feel uncomfortable in new environments.
• Empowering children with choices can help them feel more secure.
• Curiosity about children's behaviors can lead to better understanding and solutions.
• The system often fails to address the grief of both children and workers.
• Healing is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. Foster parents can push back on rigid rules for the benefit of the child.
• Community support is crucial for foster youth and their families.
• Flexibility in rules can lead to better outcomes for children.
• Children need to feel they are not disposable and that they belong.
• Behavior in children often stems from grief and loss.
• Foster care systems should encourage connections between biological and foster families.
• Adults need to be consistent and understanding in their approach to foster youth.
• Curiosity about a child's behavior can lead to better understanding and support.
• It is important to recognize that every child is unique and requires different approaches.
• Belonging should not be seen as a reward but a fundamental need.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Foster Friendly Podcast.

Learn more about being a foster or adoptive parent or supporting those who are in your community.

Meet kids awaiting adoption.

Join us in helping kids in foster care by donating $18 a month and change the lives of foster kids before they age out.

Visit AmericasKidsBelong.org and click the donate button to help us change the outcomes of kids in foster care.

In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, Brian, Travis, and Courtney celebrate the podcast’s two-year anniversary while reflecting on the impact of sharing real foster care stories and experiences. The conversation explores the realities of foster care from both the perspective of foster parents and those learning about the system from the outside.

The hosts discuss the different types of foster care placements, including emergency, short-term, long-term, and youth in conflict placements, as well as the intake process and the difficult decisions foster families must make when accepting a child into their home. They highlight the importance of understanding family dynamics, communicating boundaries with caseworkers, and recognizing the emotional and logistical challenges that come with fostering.

The conversation also dives into the first month after placement, the overwhelming nature of adjusting to a new child in the home, the responsibilities foster parents carry, and the importance of strong support systems. Topics include visitation with biological parents, navigating relationships within the child welfare system, and the misconceptions many people have about foster families.

Throughout the episode, the hosts emphasize that foster families are everyday people making an extraordinary commitment. By sharing personal stories and practical insights, the podcast aims to build empathy, educate the community, and encourage greater support for children and families involved in foster care.

Learn more about becoming a foster parent with our "Fostering Front Door" resources:

https://americaskidsbelong.org/lp/ffd-potential-foster-parent-journey/

Takeaways

• The Foster Friendly Podcast celebrates two years of conversations focused on educating and supporting the foster care community.
• Sharing real foster care stories helps bridge the gap between those involved in foster care and those who may not understand the system.
• Foster care placements can include emergency, short-term, long-term, and youth in conflict situations.
• The intake process involves carefully evaluating a child’s needs and circumstances.
• Foster parents often receive placement calls unexpectedly and must make difficult decisions quickly.
• Families should communicate their preferences, boundaries, and limitations with caseworkers.
• The decision to accept a placement should consider the needs of both the child and the foster family.
• Foster care impacts entire families and requires thoughtful consideration of family dynamics.
• The first month after placement can be one of the most challenging and overwhelming periods for foster families.
• Strong relationships with caseworkers and community members can make the foster care journey more manageable.
• Foster parents handle significant responsibilities, including appointments, paperwork, daily care, and emotional support.
• Visitation with biological parents is an important part of many foster care experiences.
• Foster families are not extraordinary people—they are ordinary people choosing to do something extraordinary.
• Community involvement and support systems are essential for helping foster families succeed.
• Greater understanding and empathy can come from learning about the realities of foster care.
• The needs of the child should remain the central focus in every foster care decision.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Foster Friendly Podcast.

Learn more about being a foster or adoptive parent or supporting those who are in your community.

Meet kids awaiting adoption.

Join us in helping kids in foster care by donating $18 a month and change the lives of foster kids before they age out.

Visit AmericasKidsBelong.org and click the donate button to help us change the outcomes of kids in foster care.