You've read the books. Maybe you've done therapy. You've tried scheduled sex, date nights, "just doing it." And you're still stuck.

Here's why: you've been trying to fix a layout problem with decorative solutions.

In this episode, I break down the kitchen remodel analogy— why desire gaps need something very different than what most people try. You need a comprehensive, body-based approach, not another book, toy, date night, or conversation about the problem. I'll walk you through what most of you have tried, why it hasn't worked (not your fault), why it feels so deflating, and what actually does work for real human beings.

This is for people who are exhausted, at their wit's end, and starting to wonder if it's even fixable. Spoiler: it is.

🎙️ THE DESIRE GAP BRIDGE™ PROGRAM IS OPEN

10 spots through March 4th. Body-based, guaranteed coaching for desire gaps—for couples and individuals who've tried everything and are ready for real change. No blame, no shame.

Enroll by March 4th and receive 4 curated lesser-known books for desire discrepancy situations— the ones that actually move the needle.

Book a free consultation: https://laurajurgens.com/bridge

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/

If you're ready to work on your desire gap but your partner won't go to therapy or coaching, this episode is for you.

The answer to "can I actually fix this alone?" is yes — and today I break down exactly how individual work changes the entire relationship dynamic, even when only one person is ready to start.

Drawing on systems theory and real client stories, we'll cover why waiting for your partner to be ready is costing you — and why going first is often the most powerful move you can make. You'll hear two real stories: a higher-libido partner who discovered what she actually needed (hint: it wasn't more sex), and a lower-libido partner who finally found their authentic "yes" by first owning her "no."

In this episode:

• Why changing yourself changes the entire relationship system
• The two most common reasons people keep individual coaching private — and why both are completely valid
• What actually happens when one partner goes first (it's not what you'd expect)
• Why lower-libido partners especially need solo time before couples work
• The reality check: what your partner's response tells you about what's possible

Whether you're the higher-desire or lower-desire partner, you don't have to stay stuck waiting for someone else's timeline. Your growth ripples out. Always.

🎙️ THE DESIRE GAP BRIDGE™ PROGRAM IS NOW OPEN

10 spots available through March 4th.

If you've tried therapy, books, and scheduled sex and you're still stuck— this is the work that actually addresses what's happening in your nervous system, your body, and your relationship.

6-month personalized coaching following a proven method, guaranteed for couples and individuals. Body-based. No blame, no shame. Both partners served equally.

Enroll by March 4th and receive my curated set of 4 lesser-known books for desire discrepancy situations—not the ones everyone recommends, the ones that actually move the needle.

Details and free consultation bookings at: https://laurajurgens.com/bridge

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/

Avoiding sex? Feeling the "ick" when your partner initiates? Going to bed at 8pm to dodge intimacy? You probably think you have low libido. But what if that's not what's actually happening?

In this vulnerable episode, I share my own story of years spent in what I call "the messy middle"—that phase where you've stopped having sex you don't want, but you haven't figured out what you DO want yet. From the outside, it looked like my libido vanished. But what was really happening? My body was setting boundaries after years of performing intimacy.

I walk you through the three phases: passive withdrawal (where most people get stuck), learning to own your voice and have the hard conversation, and discovering your authentic pleasure. I also share the specific fears that keep people stuck—"What if talking about this makes it worse?"—and what actually helps you move forward.

Note: This pattern happens most for women due to socialization, but it affects anyone who's learned to perform sexually rather than connect authentically.

If you're in the messy middle, this episode will help you understand why—and what comes next.

🎙️ THE DESIRE GAP BRIDGE™ PROGRAM IS OPEN

10 spots through March 4th. Body-based, guaranteed coaching for desire gaps—for couples and individuals who've tried everything and are ready for real change. No blame, no shame.

Enroll by March 4th and receive 4 curated lesser-known books for desire discrepancy situations— the ones that actually move the needle.

Book a free consultation: https://laurajurgens.com/bridge

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/