In this heartfelt and honest episode, Alyssa Dineen sits down with author, podcaster, and dating success story Kate Anthony to talk about what it really takes to find love after a toxic relationship. After years of dating burnout and failed attempts, Kate found success using the Burned Haystack Dating Method, developed by Jennie Young, and guidance from Alyssa on profile clarity and preferences.

Kate shares how she revamped her dating app experience by ditching “dealbreakers,” setting smart boundaries, and staying radically herself throughout the process. She opens up about meeting Ethan - her now-fiancé - and how intention, ease, and emotional safety shaped their relationship from the start.

This is a powerful conversation for anyone healing from relationship trauma, redefining what safety and love look like, or ready to show up authentically in dating and life.

• (01:55) Kate’s decision to try dating again after years of being single
• (06:00) How she revamped her profile with Alyssa’s help—and got “no notes”
• (10:40) Burned Haystack Dating and using preferences, not dealbreakers
• (14:10) Ethan’s pink shorts, bold values, and why his profile stood out
• (18:00) Early communication green flags and the importance of mutual effort
• (22:30) The first FaceTime, a direct ask, and scheduling their first date
• (27:00) Chemistry, ease, and the importance of feeling completely safe
• (31:40) Dating after narcissistic abuse and rebuilding self-trust
• (37:50) Co-parenting with an ex and healing over 16 years post-divorce
• (44:10) Emotional abuse, gaslighting, and how Kate finally got out
• (51:30) Advice for newly divorced women and reclaiming sexuality
• (56:20) Why dating is not theoretical—and how to show up to learn

Whether you're navigating post-divorce life, dating as a parent, or learning to trust again, this episode is a powerful blueprint for clarity, resilience, and true connection.

Find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating or review and share it with a friend - it really helps new listeners discover the show!

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In this thought-provoking debut episode, Alyssa Dineen welcomes professor, dating methodologist, and founder of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, Dr. Jennie Young. What began as a personal quest to fix her own dating app experience quickly turned into a viral movement empowering thousands of women and non-binary people to reclaim their time, agency, and standards in dating.

Jennie shares how her background in rhetoric and discourse shaped the creation of her method, why clarity and directness are game-changers in dating profiles, and what most success stories have in common. Alyssa and Jennie also unpack the current state of online dating - from gender divides to toxic patterns - and explore how choosing based on character over chemistry is transforming what makes someone truly dateable.

This episode offers a powerful mindset shift and real-world tools for anyone navigating the chaos of modern dating.

• (01:55) How Dr. Jennie Young used rhetorical analysis to decode dating apps
• (06:00) Why women are opting out of online dating—and what that means
• (10:40) Sexualization in dating apps and the rise of objectification
• (15:50) The five profile traits that lead to real matches
• (22:00) How to set boundaries that filter, not alienate matches
• (26:40) The culture shift toward choosing emotionally available “nice guys”
• (31:00) Why chemistry is not the best dating metric, and what to use instead
• (34:20) Dating profile red flags like height filters, vague clichés, and anger
• (38:40) Alyssa’s take on what truly matters when building connection

This episode is for anyone who’s tired of swiping and ready to date with intention, intelligence, and real hope.

Find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune in! If you love what you hear, leave a review - it really helps new listeners find us.

• Visit her Website
• Join the Burned Haystack Dating Method Facebook Group
• Read more about Jenny’s work on Substack

• Visit Style My Profile
• Follow Alyssa on Instagram
• Follow Alyssa on TikTok