How aware are you of the silent signals you bring into your coaching conversations?

In this episode, we explore the subtle yet transformational role that co-regulation plays in coaching.

Reflecting on our own experiences as coaches, we discuss how this often-overlooked aspect of human connection helps to create a foundation of psychological and emotional safety within the coaching relationship.

Through this conversation, we reflect on how co-regulation is less about the words we say and more about the energy we bring into the space. It's about how we use our body language, breathing, and tone of voice to invite our clients into a settled, grounded state. It is about offering a felt sense of safety, presence, and acceptance, where a client can relax into being themselves without performance or pretence.

We delve into the ways we can notice our own state as coaches, how regulated or dysregulated we are as we show up for our clients. It's not about striving for perfection but about understanding that our nervous systems communicate silently and that presence matters. We reflect on how crucial it is to meet clients where they are and to use our own energy consciously. Whether through slowing down our breathing, adjusting our tone, or holding silence, these are invitations for the client to settle too.

The conversation touches on the polyvagal theory and how the nervous system craves connection. We speak about the science and humanity behind why co-regulation creates deeper, more transformative coaching conversations. It's not just about the questions we ask but about the energy we hold. Coaching becomes an oasis, a rare place where clients can breathe and simply be.

We share practical ways to cultivate this co-regulation through grounding exercises, breathwork, reflective questions, and conscious awareness of our voice and body language. These seemingly small actions have the power to radically change the quality of connection and depth in coaching.

If you have ever wondered why your clients say, "I feel so calm after talking to you," this episode offers insight into why that happens and how you can deepen this skill intentionally.

Timestamps:

00:00 – What is co-regulation?
01:00 – The importance of nervous system awareness in coaching
03:30 – Psychological safety as a felt experience
05:15 – Meeting clients where they are energetically
07:40 – How coaches can anchor the coaching space
10:50 – Clean energy versus calm energy
14:40 – Tools for co-regulation: voice, breathing, body awareness
16:30 – Reflective practice and knowing your own regulation
18:00 – The impact of body language and silence
22:00 – Simple practices to support co-regulation in sessions
24:30 – Being trauma-informed in coaching conversations

Key Lessons Learned:

• Co-regulation is about being present with another’s energy, not fixing it
• Psychological safety is created through how we hold space, not only through words
• Breath, tone of voice, and body language are tools for inviting calm connection
• Our own regulation as coaches directly influences the client’s experience
• Silence and stillness are powerful in inviting a client into a reflective space

Keywords:

Co-regulation in coaching, Psychological safety in coaching, Nervous system awareness, Coaching presence, Breathwork in coaching, Trauma-informed coaching, Energy in coaching conversations, Polyvagal theory coaching, Building rapport in coaching, Reflective coaching practice

Links & Resources:

· Summit: https://igcompany.co.uk/summit25

• Our Website: https://igcompany.co.uk/

Have you ever felt confused by seemingly conflicting messages in your coaching journey?

Whether you’re training to become a coach, have been in practice for years, or are simply curious about coaching, you’ve probably come across contradictions that make you pause and wonder: Is this right? Or is it wrong? Or… could it be both?

In this episode we dive into some of the most common contradictions that coaches face, especially during training and development. We reflect on the nuances we encounter as coach trainers and practitioners, unpicking the complexities of coaching goals, non-directiveness, sharing of self, professional boundaries, and the role of structure versus fluidity.

This episode was such a joy to record because it gave us space to validate the “messy middle” where so many coaches find themselves. That tension between learning the rules and evolving beyond them. It reminded me of how deeply coaching is rooted in conscious choice, relationship, and reflection.

From the irony of learning rigid frameworks only to outgrow them, to the beauty of coaching mastery as an art of flow and discernment, this episode is all about embracing paradox. If you're someone who finds themselves craving clarity while swimming in contradiction, you’ll likely feel seen here.

We also talk about the journey of personal growth alongside professional development, how who we are as people directly influences who we become as coaches. There are no hard and fast rules, and that’s both liberating and confronting.

We hope this conversation helps you feel a little more grounded in the uncertainty, and even a little more curious.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: Why contradictions in coaching matter
01:00 – The goals paradox: clarity at the start… or at the end?
05:15 – Is coaching really non-directive?
08:35 – When and how to share your own experience as a coach
13:25 – What clients actually need and how this impacts your role
16:00 – Coaching bodies and different competency frameworks
17:40 – The craving for models: structure, freedom, and finding your style
22:00 – What coaching mastery really looks like
23:45 – Clients bring contradictions too
24:40 – Final reflections and invitation to explore coaching further

Key Lessons Learned:

• Goals aren’t always clear at the start and sometimes clarity is the goal.
• Non-directiveness is a principle, not a rule; conscious choice is the key.
• Self-disclosure can build connection when used with intention and care.
• Frameworks and models are useful, until they become restrictive.
• Mastery lies in flexibility, knowing when to hold structure and when to release it.
• Clients themselves live in contradiction, and your role is to help them make sense of that tension.
• Coaching isn’t just future-focused, it often invites reflection on the past.
• There are many paths to being a great coach and none of them are identical.

Keywords:

coaching contradictions, non-directive coaching, coaching goals, coaching frameworks, coaching training UK, becoming a coach, coaching vs mentoring, emotional coaching, self-disclosure in coaching, coaching mastery,

Links & Resources:

• mycoachingcourse.com – Take the quiz and explore our coaching training programmes

• https://igcompany.co.uk/