What if the thing you’ve been trying to fix your whole life isn’t actually the thing that needs fixing? At 38, Patty Cabot began a journey that would unravel decades of emotional pain, body image struggles, and silence surrounding childhood trauma. In this raw and inspiring conversation, Patty shares how deep inner work—not dieting—finally brought her peace, perspective, and a surprising path to love. If you’ve ever felt stuck or wondered why certain patterns keep repeating, this episode offers powerful insight into healing, self-trust, and reclaiming your story.

Beginning in her teens, Patty Cabot battled drastic weight fluctuations. Desperate to break the cycle and thinking it was what prevented her from meeting men, in her late 30s Patty embarked on a therapeutic journey that led to her unresolved childhood sexual abuse. Over 12 years she worked with her therapist and EMDR, a chiropractor to release trapped “fight or flight” responses, a sex therapist and attended group therapy for sexual abuse. Patty published Not That Girl Anymore, a memoir about the alternative therapies she explored in the hopes of undoing the ruin within to claim the happiness she – and everyone else struggling with trauma – deserves.

What if the thing you’ve been battling for decades - your weight, your relationships, your shame - was never the real issue? This week’s guest, Patty Cabot, spent 20 years trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, self-doubt, and emotional isolation before a turning point at 38 led her to finally confront the childhood trauma she thought she had long since buried and forgotten about. Through therapy, unconventional healing modalities, and a fierce determination to find love and wholeness, Patty transformed her life from the inside out.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• *Trigger warning* discussion of childhood sexual abuse; no details
• How a cycle of weight loss and gain led Patty to uncover deeper unresolved trauma
• The transformative power of EMDR therapy and what it taught her about her past
• Why anger was the only emotion she could access, and how she learned to feel more
• How vulnerability became a gateway to healing and connection
• The role running (literally!) played in finding love and confidence
• Why publishing her book helped lift the final layer of shame
• The profound insight: “it’s not your shame, and it’s not your secret to keep”

Patty Cabot’s midlife transition is a powerful example of what’s possible when we stop treating the symptom and start addressing the root cause. After decades of believing her weight and romantic struggles were the problem, Patty finally faced her childhood trauma head-on, peeling back the layers of self-protection to rediscover her worth and capacity for love. Her healing wasn’t linear, but it was bold, and in the process, she transformed shame into self-acceptance and silence into storytelling. Today, she’s helping others believe that healing is not only possible—it’s worth it.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh wherever you listen to podcasts. Your support means the world!

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Anne Montgomery was one of the first women to anchor ESPN’s SportsCenter—but when her TV career ended abruptly at 38, she found herself broke, heartbroken, and convinced her best days were behind her. In this gripping and often funny episode, Anne shares the highs of breaking barriers in sports media and the lows of losing it all. What came next? A completely unexpected new identity that brought her more joy and meaning than she ever imagined. If you've ever faced a reinvention you didn’t ask for, Anne’s story will make you laugh, tear up, and rethink what it means to start over.

Anne Butler Montgomery has worked as a television sportscaster, newspaper and magazine writer, teacher, author, and amateur sports official. She worked for five TV stations, including ESPN where she anchored SportsCenter and finished her on-camera broadcasting career with a two-year stint as the studio host for the NBA’s Phoenix Suns. Montgomery was a freelance and/or staff reporter for six publications and has written six traditionally published novels. Montgomery taught journalism and communication skills in a Title I high school for 20 years and was an amateur sports official for four decades, a time during which she called football, baseball, ice hockey, soccer, and basketball games. Montgomery is a foster mom to three sons and a daughter. When she can, she indulges in her passions: rock collecting, scuba diving, and playing her guitar.

Anne Montgomery broke barriers as one of the first female sportscasters in the U.S., working for five television stations—including anchoring SportsCenter at ESPN—during an era when women were barely visible in sports media. But when her contract wasn’t renewed at age 38, her career came to an abrupt halt, and she faced a painful truth: the industry thought she was too old to be on TV. What followed was a years-long identity crisis marked by debt, self-doubt, and the collapse of her marriage. And yet, as she shares in this remarkable conversation, Anne's midlife “derailment” led her to the most meaningful work—and relationships—of her life.

In this heartfelt and often hilarious episode, Anne recounts the twists and turns of a life that didn’t go as planned, but ended up exactly where she was meant to be.

Highlights from the episode:

• The moment in high school when Anne insisted on reading the sports—and never looked back
• How she trained as a referee in five sports to learn the rules and build credibility as a sportscaster
• What it was like to be the only woman in the locker room, on the sidelines, and at ESPN in the 1980s
• The brutal way she was pushed out of TV and how long it took to find her footing again
• The unexpected friendship that helped her shift perspective and stop feeling sorry for herself
• How returning to school at 42 led her to a 20-year teaching career that reshaped her identity
• The emotional story of how she became a mother—at age 55—to one of her former students

Anne Montgomery’s story is one of perseverance, reinvention, and unexpected blessings. What began as a pioneering career in sports broadcasting eventually gave way to an equally meaningful chapter as a teacher and foster mother. Her journey reminds us that losing what we thought we wanted can clear space for what’s truly meant for us—and that midlife transitions, no matter how messy, can become the catalyst for our most profound growth.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps others find the show—and who knows, it might help someone else feel a little less alone in their own midlife transition.

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What if slowing down isn’t a setback, but a turning point? In this episode, Stephanie explores how midlife often presses pause on our hustle-filled lives - and what looks at first like a punishment is usually an invitation. Through powerful stories from past guests and her own experience, she unpacks how stillness can help us reconnect with what really matters—and why our worth was never meant to be measured by productivity. If you’ve been feeling the pull to step off the hamster wheel (or if life has already pushed you off), this episode offers the clarity, compassion, and company you didn’t know you needed.

In this episode, Stephanie explores the hard-earned wisdom that comes when midlife forces us to slow down. Whether through burnout, illness, or emotional exhaustion, many of us hit a moment where hustle stops working, and stillness becomes not just necessary, but enlightening. Drawing from past guest stories and her own experience, Stephanie reflects on how slowing down can shift our relationship with productivity, identity, and self-worth. Midlife, it turns out, might just be the invitation we need to listen more closely to the voice within—and discover a gentler, more honest way of being.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why hustle is so deeply ingrained for many of us—and how it eventually starts to break down
• The breaking points that forced past guests like Anna Brooke, Tina Bakehouse, and Jennifer Arthurton to stop pushing
• How quiet moments revealed surprising truths for Stephanie Rose and Steve Vincent
• The disorientation (and gift) of realizing you don’t really know yourself
• The difference between judgment and discernment—and why it matters
• How slowing down opens space to reconnect with long-lost parts of ourselves
• Stephanie’s personal journey toward redefining productivity on her own term

Slowing down isn’t the end of ambition—it’s the beginning of wisdom. In the stillness, we stop performing life and start living inside it. Whether midlife has already forced your pause or you’re just beginning to question the pace, this episode is a gentle reminder that your inner voice is worth listening to—and it’s probably not asking you to hustle.

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend. It might be just the nudge they need today.

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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When Anna Brooke heard a mysterious voice say “burlesque dancer” during a meditation, she had no idea it would lead to a full-blown metamorphosis. Known on stage as the Reverend Legs Malone, Anna built a dazzling career that lit her up—until her body forced her to stop. In this deeply human episode, she opens up about listening to intuition, navigating grief, and learning to slow down. From the thrill of the spotlight to the quiet power of discernment, Anna’s story is a bold invitation to shed the shoulds and embrace joy on your own terms.

Anna Brooke is an author, speaker, and healing arts practitioner dedicated to helping people reconnect with their hearts and core creative spark. She is the author of the award-winning book Stripped Down: How Burlesque Led Me Home and co-author of WRITE! Your Guide to Revealing the Writer Within. She is also known as Rev. Legs Malone, a burlesque performer, show producer, educator and advocate who has been featured in Page Six, Buzzfeed, and Huffington Post. She has taught her transformational workshops nationally and internationally since 2010.

What happens when you finally listen to the quiet voice inside you—and it says “burlesque dancer”? Anna Brooke’s story is a masterclass in trusting your gut, embracing your weird, and healing from the burnout that comes from doing all the “right” things.

From her early days of internal tug-of-war between what she wanted and what others expected, to becoming Rev. Legs Malone on the stages of New York City, Anna shares how stepping fully into joy changed everything. When a back injury at 39 forced her to slow down, she began a deeper journey—this time into the healing arts, entrepreneurship, and the hard-won clarity of her 40s.

Episode Highlights:

• How Anna navigated a lifelong conflict between doing what she wanted and what she “should” do
• The serendipitous moment when intuition told her to become a burlesque dancer—and how she listened
• Creating and evolving the on-stage persona of Rev. Legs Malone
• The toll of hustle culture on her physical health, and the injury that forced a complete lifestyle shift
• Finding strength through slowing down, healing, and learning to trust herself
• Letting go of the “shoulds” and learning to follow discernment over judgment
• Why self-expression and joy are powerful tools for personal transformation

Anna’s story reminds us that our bodies don’t lie, joy is a radical act, and that sometimes the most powerful transformations come from sitting still long enough to hear ourselves. If you’ve ever felt pulled in too many directions or wondered what it might look like to trust your intuition, this conversation will inspire you to take the next right step—for you.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people navigating life’s beautiful, bumpy middle!

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Burnout is more than just being tired—it’s about finding out the limits of a life that no longer fits. In this solo bonus episode, Stephanie pulls together stories from past guests who pushed themselves to the edge by doing everything “right”—only to discover that success built on someone else’s terms can quietly unravel your sense of self. From panic attacks to identity crises, she explores the hidden patterns of burnout and the radical clarity that can emerge when you finally start listening to your own voice. If you've ever wondered, “Is this really it?”—this one’s for you.

What happens when the success you’ve worked so hard to achieve starts to break you down? In this special solo episode, Stephanie takes us on a deep and thoughtful journey into burnout—not just as exhaustion, but as a wake-up call. Inspired by her recent conversation with Angela Hwang, and supported by clips from past guests including Jennifer Arthurton, Tara McFarland, AdaPia D’Errico, Julie Hutsell-Starling, and Mindy Amita Aisling, Stephanie unpacks how burnout intersects with the invisible cost of “doing everything right” and the powerful, often uncomfortable process of learning to trust your own voice.

Episode Highlights

• Why burnout isn't a failure—it's a signal that something deeper needs your attention
• How following someone else’s script can lead to an identity crisis around age 40
• The three patterns of burnout that show up most often (and how to recognize them)
• What happens when the external validation you've relied on starts to falter
• Real stories of women who lost themselves in their roles—and how they found their way back
• How tuning into your body, voice and intuition can lead to radical transformation
• The truth about hearing your own voice: it’s not loud, but it is honest

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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What happens when you reach the top—and realize it’s not what you wanted? Angela Hwang had the résumé, the accolades, and the paycheck, but behind the scenes, her health was deteriorating and her happiness was nowhere to be found. In this honest and eye-opening episode, Angela shares how a health scare, motherhood, and burnout collided to spark a total life reset. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more to life than climbing the next rung, this conversation is for you.

Angela Hwang has more than 18 years of experience in marketing and business development. Angela has helped to raise more than $150M in direct investments for real estate fund managers since 2020 and contributed to significant revenue growth for various tech startups since 2016. She has a wide array of experience across multiple industries including financial services, real estate, legal and technology. In 2021, Angela was selected as one of 40 under 40 by Silicon Valley Business Journal for her marketing leadership. Angela graduated from University of California, Berkeley with a B.A. in Mass Communications and a B.A. in Sociology and earned her M.B.A. from Pepperdine University.

Angela Hwang checked every box on the “successful life” checklist her parents handed her, and then realized none of it was making her happy. Born in South Korea and raised in the U.S., Angela spent decades chasing stability, prestige, and approval—especially from her parents, who had sacrificed everything for the American Dream. She climbed through the corporate ranks, earned accolades like Silicon Valley’s 40 Under 40, and reached the coveted C-suite. But behind the scenes, she was unraveling. It wasn’t until a terrifying health scare and the sobering clarity of new motherhood that Angela finally began to question the life she had built—and discovered the strength to redefine it.

Episode Highlights:

• Angela’s upbringing as a first-generation Korean-American and internalizing a success script rooted in her parents’ fear, thus the immense pressure to achieve “safe” success.
• Climbing the corporate ladder—and the personal cost of doing so while hiding burnout and physical symptoms.
• The turning point: how becoming a mother and experiencing a health crisis forced Angela to reevaluate her priorities.
• Breaking generational narratives around work, safety, and entrepreneurship.
• The shift from external validation (titles, salaries, luxury goods) to internal fulfillment and presence.
• Selling off her designer wardrobe, trading Silicon Valley hustle for quiet comfort—and finding her true self in the process.
• How sleep, stillness, and finally listening to her own voice laid the foundation for shedding her parents’ fears and starting her own business.

In this deeply honest conversation, Angela Hwang shares what it’s like to reach the top of the ladder your parents built for you—and realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall. Her story is an invitation to question the narratives we inherit, especially when they’re rooted in fear, sacrifice, and survival. If you’ve ever wondered whose life you’re really living, this episode will leave you thinking—and maybe even reimagining what your next chapter could be.

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend who might need a little inspiration of their own.

Angela is offering TBFO listeners a FREE Complementary Strategy Session

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise.

Among the many strange and funny things that can happen as you reach midlife is this: just when everything feels like it’s falling apart, something creative starts to stir. In this bonus episode, Stephanie explores the idea of a midlife creative awakening—inspired by past guests who picked up paint brushes, pens, instruments, and more in the messy middle of their lives. Creativity often shows up when we need it most. Because sometimes, when you think you need less on your plate, what you really need is something that’s just *yours*. You’ll hear reflections, real talk, and a few stories that might just remind you of yourself. If you’ve got a creative itch—or a long-lost hobby whispering in your ear—this one’s for you.

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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When Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer met at an engagement party, they had no idea their friendship would become the anchor that carried them through midlife chaos. With a decade between them, different careers, and wildly different life stages, their bond became a lifeline—especially during the isolating early days of the pandemic. In this heartfelt and humorous episode, they share how they supported each other through burnout, motherhood, and identity shifts—and how they turned all of it into art. If you've ever felt alone in your midlife unraveling, this conversation will remind you that the right friendship can change everything.

Fifteen years ago, Jenn Kacmar was balancing working as an ob/gyn at the county health department, parenting two elementary-aged boys, and surviving the culture shock of life in a small Southern town after a decade living in New England. More than ten years younger, Rose Planer was newly engaged and preparing to move to her soon-to-be husband’s hometown where she would hold a few different jobs, including palliative care coordinator and trauma therapist, before starting her own family.

In many ways, we owe our friendship to women a generation ahead of us who brought us together at, of all things, an engagement party. While we couldn’t predict the depths our friendship would reach, we both felt the “zing” of recognizing a kindred spirit at that initial meeting. Over the years, we have supported each other, learned from each other, bickered with each other. We “bubbled” together during Covid. And, yes, we have even survived traveling together! But one of the best things to come out of our friendship was creative collaboration.

Writing a novel together propelled our friendship to a new level. This life-changing experience offered a tremendous opportunity to learn more about ourselves and each other. Working together to frame a story, to bring it and its characters to life, was both challenging and exhilarating. Having a teammate to share in the process proved invaluable—when one of us had an off day, the other picked up the slack and vice versa. We bring complementary strengths to our partnership and believe we have both become better writers from working together. More importantly, however, we feel compelled to share the secret power this friendship revealed: the power of connection and creative collaboration to extinguish the mid-life "Ick."

What if your midlife transformation didn’t happen alone—but in lockstep with your best friend? In this episode, we meet Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer, who navigated the complexities of motherhood, identity, and burnout during the pandemic—and found a lifeline in each other. Their friendship began at an engagement party and blossomed into a life-saving connection that not only saw them through the icky, isolating parts of midlife, but also gave birth to something beautiful: a novel they co-wrote during lockdown. These women didn’t just survive; they created.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• How Jenn and Rose’s unlikely friendship began across a 12-year age gap—and why it became their greatest midlife survival tool
• Jenn’s journey from high-achieving OB-GYN to burnout and reinvention
• Rose’s pivot from aspiring journalist to therapist after the loss of her sister
• The crushing loneliness of motherhood during COVID—and how they turned it into creative fuel
• Honest reflections on alcohol as a culturally “acceptable” coping mechanism for overwhelmed moms
• The transformative power of collaboration, and how their friendship turned into a creative partnership
• Why their novel Snowflakes in the South became both a lifeline and a legacy

One last thing…

Jenn and Rose are proof that friendship can be a transformative force—not just a comfort, but a catalyst. Their story is a...