America never understood the appeal of the Krankies, as evidenced by this woefully botched adaptation.

...None of that is true, but it would have been more entertaining than this absolute nothing of a film from 2004. Still, Happy Christmas.

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Listener request episode! Moana is back, and this time the stakes are... Less? We look at the hurried and underwhelming sequel to the previous, much better Disney movie.

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Listener request episode! We go down the Warren rabbit hole as wholesome franchise heroes (but real life pedo-grifters) Ed & Lorraine Warren battle demons for what might be the final "Conjuring" movie, except it probably won't be if the franchise remains profitable.

SHOW NOTES:

Article on the Warren's controversy quoted in the show

Hollywood Reporter article on the Warrens and the franchise

Netflix documentary 'The Devil on Trial'

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It's the end of the world as we know it, and we feel conned.

Oscar winner Kathryn Bigelow turns in a frankly unfinished movie that might or might not be about a nuclear strike on America. We'll never know! Console yourself with the brief appearances of some actors you like and let us be frustrated on your behalf.

SHOW NOTES:

Jo Light's great story analysis of House of Dynamite on No Film School

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A Halloween roundup episode as we talk about things that we didn't critique fully, things we actually liked, and why feminism remains a battleground in horror as well as in increasingly horrifying reality.

SHOW NOTES:

Find out more about the F-Rating project

'Last Fuckable Day' comedy sketch

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Even a man who is pure of heart, and says his prayers at night,

May become a wolf in a promising film that rapidly turns to shite...

Invisible Man writer/director Leigh Whanell tries to reinvent another classic monster franchise, and while it's not a total howler it definitely goes to the dogs by the final act. We do our best to diagnose where this often-quite-good horror story falls apart.

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Because we're not allowed anything new, someone decided to dig up Stephen King's 1975 novel, infect it with some of the existing 1980 adaptation, and turn it into this pale, anemic, soulless version of itself. It's the story of a small town being taken over by the undead, under the command of a mysterious, wealthy stranger. Vampires don't show up in mirrors, but audiences didn't show up at all. There's plenty of sucking, just not the kind you'd want.

References:

Video essay on Sinners

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National treasure Kate Beckinsale is given nothing to do in this 2000s monster mash-up. Ironic really for a movie that is doing everything all the time all at once.

Expect electrified egg sacks, shouting vampires and a party entrance so audaciously stupid it would make even 2000s Lohan blush.

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