The guys discuss why you should always deny responsibility for the contents of your rectum, when having wheels means you don’t get line cuts, and how sifted muffins can be the leading cause of flesh wounds in at least one American household.

The guys discuss how consuming Big Macs will inevitably constitute as birth control, when keeping your rotisserie chicken and karaoke machine dry is NOT the largest obstacle you’re being faced with, and why it’s better to die 130 years early than become a parent following a Tsunami.

The guys discuss how much aluminum foil is necessary when jousting a Buick, when three wishes won’t make your oil light go out, and why not paying for your horse to ride the subway totally prevents you from handing out your golden pocket candy.

The guys discuss why it is imperative to vet your wizards properly prior to completing any financial transaction, when is the best time to interact with nocturnal, wallet-less, lowballing vampires in need of transportation, and how “breaking off a piece” of 12 tons of Italian KitKat bars leads to a delicious black market.

The guys discuss how urine soaked toasters make it nearly impossible to recoup your security deposit, when a perp can elude the police with a simple belly rub, and why a qualified Ball Rep and full ball sack increases your chances at $100,000.

The guys discuss how the hands up on Ted’s hips means not one goodbye shall be heard, when the “flopping” and “slapping” all but guarantees you’re going to give up that ambulance, and why “Those ARE supposed to be out!” was Damon Hasslehoff’s entire campaign platform in getting elected as Berlin’s Public Pool Commissioner.

The guys discuss how the hyena’s extinction can only be prevented through simultaneous flipping, when creating a sound drop for a wildly popular podcast that is heard by dozens does not offer you infinite immunity to add to your exotic bird collection, and why it is so important to open every card from (Ba)Nana prior to litigation.

The guys discuss how to properly disarm an 8-inch WW1 artillery shell, when a Pizza Surprise Attack will definitely confuse two grown men TWICE, and why not responding to your doctors requests made in random different voices merely confirms consent.