Chris was called away on a years-long shipping voyage by a conniving relative, so he can’t be with us today. In his stead, Mary returns! You may remember her from such episodes as this past October’s The Phantom of Manhattan, 2021's Die Hamletmachine, and our now beloved E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial in His Adventure on Earth episode from 2023.

We discuss our experience reading Fanny Hill by John Cleland, originally published in 1748 and since routinely banned as the first known published English-language erotica. Mary found a copy of this in a little free library years ago and since then, it has taken up permanent residence in her mind and she has talked about it off and on. I figured it’d be a fun one for the show since we, somehow, have yet to feature 18th century erotica on TBC.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes coerced/trafficked sex work, graphic sex, and sexual assaults as this book is mid-18th century pornography.

Links & References:

• Fanny Hill in Bombay: The Making & Unmaking of John Cleland by Hal Gladfelder
• Pamela: Or, Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson
• Joseph Andrews and Shamela by Henry Fielding
• Clarissa: Or the History of a Young Lady by Samuel Richardson
• The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot
• Justine, or The Misfortunes of Virtue by Marquis de Sade
• Juliette by Marquis de Sade

We revert to our previous format this week with both Chris and Paris reviewing today's book. The You You Are: A Spiritual Biography of You was published in the last week of January of 2025 by Apple Books and immediately caught our attention since Paris has been obsessed with Severance since it debuted and Chris was recruited into the madness this year. We thought it would be fun to check out a prop from a TV show that had become a real book. Listen as we do Ricken's self-help exercises and become severed in real-time!

If you are trying to keep yourself completely pure before watching Severance, there are some mild Severance spoilers from early in Season 1 between 1:12:00 - 1:15:45

Links & References

• The You You Are: A Spiritual Biography of You by Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD
• Dr. Dolly Chugh: How to let go of being a "good" person — and become a better person

This week, Paris turns up the Perturbator records, dons some aviators and a trenchcoat, and heads out into the rainy nights of 1980s Milwaukee to help our Patron Fred.

Fred wrote to us saying, “...the sheer notion of a murder mystery with Happy Days characters that is apparently officially sanctioned by whoever owns the rights is enough to give me pause. I can’t even find any information about why th[is] book was made and I just end up asking myself, “Who is this for?” because while I don’t doubt that Happy Days still has a large fan base, I don’t think many people would want to read a book about how one of the best characters on the show gets murdered.”

We hope you enjoy this episode, Fred! Thank you so much for supporting TBC.

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Today’s episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to infidelity, kidnapping, murder, and one brief moment of drug use.

Additional Links:

• Interview with James Boice (2011)

• Interview with James Boice about his writing of Who Killed the Fonz? (2019)

Chris has to travel to another reality again today - this time, it's a Grecian fantasy world that isn't actually Greek! Speaking of Greece, thank you to The Metal Classicist Dr. Jeremy Swist for pronunciation help on today's episode.

Our Patron Austin sent Chris on this voyage through the world of In the Ravenous Dark by A.M. Strickland for his Patron's Choice this year saying this was, "...a book about a girlfailure who ends up step-cousins to the royal family, all of which become inexplicably interested in either becoming her friend, fucking her, or both. Some highlights includ[e] a first chapter that involves fucking on top of a two story gazeebo, an island of vaguely celtic wizards who all have anime hair and eyes, a love interest who does that scene with JOI and the prostitute in Blade Runner 2049, and distracting your ghost bodyguard by almost flashing your tits at him."

We hope you enjoy the episode, Austin! Thank you for your longtime support of TBC.

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Today’s episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to discussion or mention of blood, corpses, death/dying, necromancy, and sex.

Nearly 5 years ago to the day, we reviewed The Horse of the Invisible with our very best podfriends the Antiques Freaks. Years later, we realized that we had never actually read the story aloud as we had promised you, as we've done with all the other Carnacki stories. Once again, we were wrong - there is yet one more 'nack to Carn, so the Terrible Antique Book Freaks assembled anew!

Dust off your Carnacki Bingo cards and enjoy a second round of the gobble-neighing contest, all set to the impeccable scoring and SFX talents of Chris (Oselka Sound).

If you haven't had enough invisible horse after you listen to this episode, you can also hear our review of the story from April of 2020 in Episode 83 - The Horse of the Invisible from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson has been floating around in the American pop cultural stew for the last 22 years. Paris had always been interested in reading it, so when it happened to be in a pile of books some friends were giving away, she heeded the call of our dark lord and tossed it on the schedule for 2025.

Get on your fancy new bicycles, affix a lightbulb to the front, grab a can of PBR, and somehow also balance a bowl of Shredded Wheat while you're at it for a wild journey from the 1880s through the early 20th century. Paris leads us through Larson's dual accounts of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and its Director of Work, Daniel Hudson Burnham, alongside the Chicago years of "America's first serial killer", H.H. Holmes (Herman Webster Mudgett). If you think you know the Holmes story because you already read this book or saw some TV dramatization - you don't. Together, we'll discover that misinformation and disinformation have suffused this story for 120 years (and counting)!

Thanks to Ken from the Antiques Freaks for helping me down the research rabbit hole & to Adam Selzer for a stellar book, without which much of our disappointment in and suspicions of Larson's tale would not have been justified and relieved.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes swindling/fraud, infidelity, sexism, racism, and murder.

Links & References:

• H.H. Holmes: The History of the White City Devil by Adam Selzer

Chris had to go to space again this week. This time, he takes us to a galaxy kinda far away and sort of a while ago (or maybe now? or in the future?) because our Patron Miles requested Black Moon Rising for his Patron's Choice this year.

Miles wrote to us saying, "Since I requested two books in a row that were both deeply political, I figured I'd instead give you guys something lighter: published Star Wars fanfiction. The book I'm referring to is Black Moon Rising by Frankie Rose and Callie Hart...to give you an idea of how egregious it is, it starts with a prologue that feels designed to be turned into a Star Wars text crawl. It then jumps directly to [the protagonist] who[se] name is literally Reyza, having a graphic sex dream involving the main antagonist, Jass Baylar."

We hope you enjoy the episode, Miles! Thank you for your support for TBC throughout the vast spacetime continuum.

Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Today’s episode includes our usual barnyard language plus some sexual content, Star Wars violence, and weaponry.

Links & References:

Other commentary on this book:

• Jenny Nicholson: This is DEFINITELY not a published Reylo fanfic novel

Somehow we ended up with another zombie romance around Valentine’s Day for the second year in a row. Paris chose Rabid Heart for this season after her partner randomly turned to her one day last year and said, “Hey did you realize Jeremy Wagner from Broken Hope is an author?” This piqued her interest since she fondly remembers being at Broken Hope’s comeback show at Maryland Death Fest 13 years ago.

It’s not usually her type of death metal, but something about that show was extra fun and every now and then when she's feeling ignorant and wants some dumb slammy shit, she may put on Grotesque Blessings. When reading for TBC that’s kind of peak “I am feeling dumb and also full of rage”, so she listened to a lot of Broken Hope while reading this. Wagner sure has a theme and he’s sticking to it!

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes gore, guns, kidnapping, sexual assault, general violence, weapons, and - of course - zombies. Have you listened to a brutal slam record recently? It’s that.

Links & References:

• The publisher's website: Riverdale Avenue Books

• Jeremy Wagner's band:

  • https://brokenhope.com/
  • Metal Archives - Broken Hope