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Tame the Trigger: Pause, Breathe, Respond with Calm

Tame the Trigger: Pause, Breathe, Respond with Calm

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 Welcome back, friend. I'm Julia Cartwright, and I'm so glad you're here with me today. Whether you're sneaking in this practice before the chaos begins, or you're in the thick of it right now—maybe it's a Tuesday morning and someone's already spilled juice on their homework—this moment is for you and your calm.

Today, we're tackling something so real: that moment when your child pushes a button you didn't even know existed, and suddenly you're teetering on the edge of losing it. Sound familiar? Here's what I want you to know—that reaction isn't a failure. It's just your nervous system doing what it thinks it needs to do. And we're going to soften that today.

Let's start by just arriving here. Wherever you are, take a seat if you can. Feel your feet on the ground or your body in the chair. You don't have to be perfect at this. You just have to be present.

Now, let's settle your breath. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Hold it gently for a count of four. And exhale slowly through your mouth, like you're fogging up a mirror. Let's do that again. In for four, hold for four, and release. One more time. Feel that? That's your calm button. It's always there.

Here's the practice I want to share with you: the Pause Before Response. This is pure gold for parenting, I'm telling you.

Imagine you're standing in a kitchen garden. The weeds—those are your reactive thoughts. The vegetables—that's your wise, calm response. Right now, you're probably pulling weeds without thinking. Let's change that.

The next time your child says something that normally triggers you, pause. Just pause. It's like opening a door between the weed patch and the garden. Take three conscious breaths. Notice what you're feeling in your body—maybe it's heat in your chest or tension in your shoulders. Name it silently. Say, "I'm feeling frustrated." No judgment. Just naming it.

Then, imagine looking at your child through the eyes of curiosity instead of defense. What might they need? Not what did they do wrong, but what are they really asking for underneath the behavior? Often, it's connection. It's always connection.

This pause—it's not weakness. It's the strongest thing you can model for your child. You're teaching them that their big feelings don't have to run the show.

So here's your mission today: find one moment—just one—where you can pause and breathe before you respond. Notice what shifts. I guarantee something will.

Thank you so much for joining me on Mindful Parenting: Daily Tips for Raising Calm Kids. You're doing better than you think you are. Please subscribe so we can keep this journey going together. You've got this.

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This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
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