Dr. Benau explores relational trauma and how shame and pride influence connecting with others. He highlights his research, professional experience, and personal stories to highlight how we can transcend shame to connect with others.

Guest:
Dr. Ken Benau Ph.D. has been a licensed clinical psychologist since 1990, and maintains a private practice in Kensington, CA, located in the San Francisco Bay Area. Dr. Benau has expertise in working with children and adults with various learning and developmental differences, including those living with LD, ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder. He has a special interest and expertise in shame and pride-informed psychotherapy with survivors of relational trauma. Dr. Benau has presented his ideas about shame, pride, and dissociation and their therapeutic applications in psychotherapy with relational trauma survivors at various international conferences, webinars and podcasts. He has also written several peer reviewed articles with that same theme, where he introduced the concept and phenomena of pro-being pride, a powerful antidote to traumatic shame states. Pro-being pride is the experience of taking delight in one’s unique ways of being and relating to oneself, others, and in the world. Dr. Benau’s book, Shame, Pride, and Relational Trauma: Concepts and Psychotherapy, was published by Routledge in March, 2022.

To learn more about Dr. Benau, please visit:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ken-benau-kensington-ca/279286

5:00 – Work History – Understanding Pride and Pro-Being
7:30 – Concepts – Relational Trauma
9:00 – Concept – How Pro-Being, Shame, and Pride Interact
11:30 – Concept – Attunement, Rupture, and Repair
14:50 – Concept – The Good Enough Parent (D.W. Winnicott)
20:30 – Concept – How Ignoring Can Lead to Relational Trauma
21:20 – Concept – How Shame Can Show in Relationships
22:30 – Idea – Shame State
25:00 – Idea – How Does Shame Show Up: Perfectionism, Anger, Anxiety
30:00 – Concept – Guilt vs. Shame
34:50 – Adult Strategy – Verbalize and Show Non-Judgement
36:30 – Concept – Shame is Protective
37:25 – Strategies to Heal from Shame – Building Connections
42:45 – Concept – The Emotional Bank
45:40 – Strategies to Heal from Shame – Building Confidence
48:30 – Strategies to Heal from Shame – Listening
50:00 – Idea – Affects are on a Spectrum (Sylvan Thompkins)
52:30 – Parent Strategies for ProBeing – Curiosity Around Parenting
52:30 – Parent Strategies for ProBeing – Building Connections
58:30 – Student Strategies for ProBeing – Watching for How People Make Connections
68:00 – Previous Episode – Purpose & Happiness (Tracy Bower)
69:00 – Personal Wellness Strategies – Hanging with Friends

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Open Concept: https://opencontact.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Ashley Leonard highlights her extensive experience leading mentoring programs in chicago, and how it builds connection and belonging in students and teachers. We explore the benefits of mentoring and its relationship to improved academic and emotional outcomes for adolescents.

Guest:
Ashley Leonard. Education for 23 years. Counselor at Langston Hughes in Roseland Neighborhood of Chicago, IL. She has been a counselor for 15 years. Program Ambassador for Erika's Lighthouse. Speaks for their program which is free. Also do part time therapy, at Olive Branch Associates.

To connect with Ashley, please email:
aleonard3@uchicago.edu

To learn more about mentoring, please explore the following:
https://toandthrough.uchicago.edu/research

Timestamps:
4:00 – Personal Story – What Led You to Exploring Mentorship?
7:30 – Concept – Social Capital to Connect to Experiences
9:45 – Personal Story – How did you start the To & Through Program?
13:15 – Concept – Adolescence is the 2nd Most Important for Child development
13:15 – Research - Life course epidemiology: recognizing the importance of adolescence (Viner et al., 2015)
17:22 – Concept – What can mentorship look like in a high school?
18:30 – Concept – Mentors Need Understanding Adolescent Issues
19:22 – Concept – Mentors Benefit from Encouraging While Having High Expectations
20:00 – Concept – Mentoring Takes Time Commitment
21:20 – Benefits – Relationships (Belonging) are the Foundation for Success Academically
22:00 – Research - The University of Chicago Consortium on School Research - Foundations for Young Adult Success Report
22:00 – Research - The University of Chicago Consortium on School Research - Investing in Adolescents
24:20 – Strategy – Strength Based Conferences
27:00 – Research – The Impact of Student–Teacher Relationships on Black Middle School Boys (Leverett et al., 2022)
28:30 – Student Strategy – Finding Mentors – Ask For Help!
28:30 – Parent Strategy – Exploring Mentors – Formal Mentorship Programs Help, Especially for Post-Secondary Work
34:20 – Parent Strategy – Exploring Mentors – Ask Other Parents about Partnerships
38:30 – Student Strategy – Build Your Board of Directors
46:00 – Idea – How to Start a Mentorship Program
47:10 – Personal Strategy – Music & Walks

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/

Korey Wade:
@koreywade / @sphereofhiphop
Available now wherever you stream/download music.
Bandcamp: https://sphereofhiphop.bandcamp.com

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Dr. Cottone explores the ideas of tribalism and how it offers benefits and drawbacks around human connection. He emphasizes how identifying with a group can help people connect, survive, and have positive feelings, while having the potential to harm others.

Guest:
John G. Cottone, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry within the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. His research—on psychotherapy outcome, executive functioning and the neurological correlates of schizophrenia—has been published in acclaimed peer-reviewed journals, including Archives of General Psychiatry, Psychotherapy, and Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. He has a youtube channel called MindCube 3D. He has contributed to Psychology Today, The New York Times, and The Washington Post and is the author of several books included: Who Are You? Essential Questions for Hitchhikers on the Road of Truth and Z-score: How a Statistic Used in Psychology Will Revolutionize Baseball.

To learn more about Dr. Cottone, please visit:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcuWgaynspx77K4vavXIRfw
mindcube3d@gmail.com

Timestamps:
5:00 – Personal Story – What Brought Dr. Cottone into Exploring Tribalism
8:00 – Personal Story – Stepping Outside Tribes
8:55 – Book – Sapiens : a brief history of humankind (Harari, 2014)
9:30 – Reference – Tribalism: How to Be a Part of the Solution, Not the Problem (Cottone, 2025)
10:20 – Concept – Impact of Critiquing Your Own Tribe (Truthtellers and Traitors)
12:00 – Research – ‘They Saw a Protest’: Cognitive Illiberalism and the Speech-Conduct Distinction (Kanahan et al., 2011)
13:50 – Concept – Our Fist Tribe is Our Family
17:30 – Concept – Tribalism & Resources/Survival
17:47 – Research – Threat and the Rise of Fear Politics and Tribalism (Hobfoll, 2019)
19:00 – Concept – What Can Tribalism Look Like Day to Day?
22:10 – Research – Being part of a group can create positive feelings (Research)
23:40 – Benefit – You Can Make Connections with Other People in New Places
26:30 – Benefit – Decrease Loneliness, Increased Feelings of Empowerment
28:00 – Concept – Positive Benefits of Tribalism
29:50 – Concept – Options to Act on the Excesses of Your Tribe
34:00 – Dangers – Turning a Blind Eye to Your Tribe (Denial)
37:00 – Concept – How to Sit with Cognitive Dissonance from Your Tribe
42:30 – Student Strategies – Being Flexible to Making New Connections
51:30 – Story – Story of Shibboleth & Tribalism
54:50 – Parent Strategies – Emphasize Time and Perspective
58:00 – Research – Social connection as a key target for youth mental health (Birrell et al., 2025)
64:00 – Emotional Practice – Meditation & Spirituality

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
DJsNeverEndingStory: https://djsneverendingstory.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast