David explores personal stories that led him and his wife into marriage and business coaching. His stories shed light into strategies for successful relationships in dating, school, and friendships. We explore conflicts, awareness, and yes... lasagna!

Guest:
David Kiwimagi is the co-founder of Kiwi Coaching, dedicated to helping couples who want to work together strengthen their relationships and thrive as partners. David and his wife Alexis have built a thriving coaching business and marriage. The proven methods they share have helped hundreds of couples from feeling stuck and disconnected to deeply connected and thriving in both business and marriage.

3:30 – Personal Story – How Did David Find Coaching Relationships
8:13 – Helpful Relationship Ideas – Turn Unspoken Expectations into Agreements
8:40 – Helpful Relationship Ideas – His Business, Her, Business, Not Your Business
8:13 – Helpful Relationship Ideas – How to Win Every Argument
9:40 – Unspoken Expectations – Talk Outside of High Emotions
18:30 – Parent Strategies – Explore Expectations Before You Need Something
21:00 – Concept – His Business, Her, Business, Not Your Business
23:00 – Strategy – Making an Environment Where Someone Can Feel Welcome
26:00 – Concept – Focus on What You Can Control
32:00 – Concept – You and Me vs. The Problem (Not You’re Wrong)
37:00 – Concept – Reframing Problems
38:30 – How to Slow Heated Arguments – Take a Breath Break
39:46 – Concept – Most Arguments Rooted in Unsaid Expectations
42:00 – Idea – People Can Be Drains and Fountains
49:39 – Personal Practice – Not About Being Perfect
49:39 – Personal Practice – Learning Everyone’s Not Like Me

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Homage: https://homagebeats.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

In this In Practice Episode, Dr. Cottone and I talk about rivalries in sports and how sometimes they get more serious than intended. We connect our favorite rivalries to the concepts of Tribalism, to unpack how it shows up in sports fandom.

Guest:
John G. Cottone, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry within the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. His research—on psychotherapy outcome, executive functioning and the neurological correlates of schizophrenia—has been published in acclaimed peer-reviewed journals, including Archives of General Psychiatry, Psychotherapy, and Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. He has a youtube channel called MindCube 3D. He has contributed to Psychology Today, The New York Times, and The Washington Post and is the author of several books included: Who Are You? Essential Questions for Hitchhikers on the Road of Truth and Z-score: How a Statistic Used in Psychology Will Revolutionize Baseball.

To learn more about Dr. Cottone, please visit:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcuWgaynspx77K4vavXIRfw
mindcube3d@gmail.com

Timestamps:
4:00 – Idea – Adopting Stories of Teams You Root Foor
6:40 – Rivalries – Yankees and Mets
8:00 – Rivalries – Georgia and Alabama
9:30 – Idea – Big Brother Little Brother (Family Dynamics Play Out in Rivalries)
11:20 – Concept – Bringing Personal Attributes to Tribes/Teams
12:40 – Tribal Mentality – Wake Forest at Louisville
16:20 – Research - Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes Experiment (Elliott, 1986)
17:45 – Heated Games – Georgia and LSU
19:30 – Idea – Connecting Rivalries to Politics
21:00 – Rivalries – Rangers and Islanders
16:00 – Connection Mentality – Tribalism can lead to connecting with people
27:00 – Concept – Dissonance within a Tribe
29:00 – Research - More Than a Game: Football Fans and
Marriage Equality (Harrison, 2016)
33:00 – Concept – Prioritizing Truth vs. Aligning with a Tribe
33:30 – Concept – Seeing Different Perspectives
35:00 – Concept – Reductionism in Tribalism
35:45 – Best Rivalries – Michigan v. Ohio State
35:45 – Best Rivalries – Celtics v. Lakers
36:50 – Best Rivalries – Alabama v. Auburn
35:45 – Best Rivalries – Cavaliers v. Warriors

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
G Mills: https://gmills.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Benny Voncken highlights his personal experience using stoicism to live a present, exploring his true nature. He unpacks key ideas of Stoicism to help people life a grounded life of virtue, using emotions to inform reason, and find more joy (eudemonia) in daily life.

Guest:
Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica and the Via Stoica Podcast. He and his team offer Stoic life coaching, corporate training, motivational speaking, and workshops. Our mission is to help people live better lives through the creation and application of a philosophy of Life, mainly based on Stoicism. Benny is from the Netherlands and has lived abroad for over 15 years. After teaching for almost 12 years, he focused on Stoicism and coaching to improve my life and to help as many people discover who they are and find their path and purpose in life.
You can find Benny on

To learn more about Benny, please visit:
https://viastoica.com/
https://es.linkedin.com/in/bennyvoncken

3:00 – Personal Story – How Did Benny Find Stoicism
5:00 – Research – Misunderstood Stoicism: The negative Association Between Stoic Ideology and well-Being (Karl et al., 2022)
5:50 – Stoicism Principles – Outcome: To Reach Eudemonia
6:30 – Stoicism Principles – Live in Accordance with Nature
5:50 – Stoicism Principles – 4 Cardinal Virtues (Wisdom, Justice, Courage, Temperance)
7:20 – Stoicism Principles – Guide By Reason, Live in Positive Emotions
8:30 – Stoicism Principles – Reflecting on Impulsive Emotions
9:45 – Concept – Reflecting on Emotions is Key to Using Reason
12:30 – Past Episode – Episode 17: Consent and Becoming an Adult with Sarah Casper
13:30 – Example – Rain and Perspective Taking within Stoicism
14:45 – History – Timeline of Stoicism
15:20 – Concept – Dichotomy of Control
16:45 – Concept – Dealing with Setbacks
22:20 – Concept – Living in Accordance with Nature
26:00 – Student Strategies – Explore Your Philosophy for Life (What are you supposed to do?)
28:55 – Student Strategies – Exploring Your Nature (Listening to Internals and Externals)
33:30 – Parent Strategies – “We have one mouth and two ears, so we should listen more and speak less.” (Xeno)
34:40 – Parent Strategies – Listen to a child, without absorbing all their feelings
36:20 – Research - Prediction error determines how memories are organized in the brain (Kennedy et al., 2024)
39:10 – Stoicism Practice – Journaling
46:00 – Personal Practice – Journaling. Getting Things on Paper. Poetry.

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Jinsang: https://jinsangbeats.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast