Men, sex, and aging without the macho script. I sit down with Dr. Chris Donaghue—clinical sexologist, therapist, and host of Loveline—to unpack masculinity, libido, and connection in midlife. We dig into why “being a man” often blocks intimacy, how to get out of performance mode, and what it takes to be a better partner after 50.

We talk practical dating resets, equity vs. equality on first dates, why vibrators shouldn’t threaten anyone, and how to build a personal “relational mission statement.” If you’re newly single or just ready to evolve, this episode gives you a clear path back into your body, your values, and real intimacy.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro: Men, sex, and aging without the script

01:12 Meet Dr. Chris Donaghue & why masculinity needs a reset

03:08 “Disidentifying” from gender roles to become a better partner

05:02 Getting back into your body vs. performing intimacy

06:45 Values, ethics, and your relational mission statement

08:36 America’s performance culture and its impact on love

10:10 Dating mindset: “The person you date is in your care”

12:04 Childhood socialization: boys vs. girls and empathy gaps

14:06 Rewriting the “strong man” expectation with softness

15:32 Who pays? Equality vs. equity on first dates

17:34 The confusion men feel: strong vs. vulnerable on demand

19:02 Emotional literacy: what men are “allowed” to feel

20:05 Sex talk: scripts, vibrators, and de-centering orgasm

22:11 How to date Karen: knowledge gaps, boundaries, and media

23:40 Public work ≠ no boundaries: consent and respect

25:02 “What are you working on?”—owning your growth

26:36 Therapy vs. “I coached myself”: why guidance matters

28:05 Practical first steps for newly single men

29:40 Libido as life energy: bringing passion back

31:02 Best sex isn’t performance—it’s connection

31:55 Wrap up + where to find Dr. Donaghue

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Dr. Chris Donaghue is a psychotherapist specializing in couples and sex therapy, with a private practice in addition to his work as a lecturer and educator. He serves as the Director of Clinical Education for The Sexual Health Alliance and is the Dean of Education and lead faculty for The Institute at The Sexual Health...

Open relationships sound exciting to some — and absolutely terrifying to others. But what really happens when you open up your marriage? Can it save your relationship… or destroy it?

In this episode, I sit down with Kelvin Pace, a licensed professional counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and former Army medic turned intimacy expert. Kelvin brings courage, compassion, and clinical insight to one of the most misunderstood topics in modern relationships — consensual non-monogamy.

We talk about what it means to open a marriage consciously and ethically, how to navigate jealousy without shame, and why community and communication matter more than ever. Kelvin also shares how mindfulness and sensate focus can help couples reconnect with pleasure — without the pressure of performance.

If you’ve ever wondered whether open relationships can actually work — or what it takes to make them work — this conversation will challenge your assumptions and maybe even your boundaries.

Timestamps:

00:00 – What really happens when you open your marriage?

00:43 – Meet Kelvin Pace

02:06 – Sex surrogates and sensate focus explained

04:11 – How mindfulness changes sex

06:56 – Defining open relationships and polyamory

08:46 – The myth of compersion and toxic non-monogamy

10:31 – Managing jealousy and emotional regulation

12:46 – Stay tuned for part 2!

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Kelvin Pace graduated with a master’s in clinical psychology from the University of Alaska Anchorage in 2009. He is a licensed professional counselor and supervisor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor.

He is the owner of KpaceCounseling, LLC in Anchorage, Alaska. Kelvin works with couples and individuals dealing with sexual or relationship issues that include low desire, anxiety surrounding sex, and infidelity. His current focus is on mindfulness-based interventions to manage sexual concerns, working with individuals and couples either in or looking to explore non-traditional relationship orientations such as consensual/ethical non-monogamy.

Connect with Kelvin Pace:

Website:...

Ever wondered why someone pays to be dominated? In this electrifying episode, I sit down with Miss May, a professional dominatrix, dungeon owner, and kink educator based in London and Berlin. We unpack what it really means to be a dominatrix — from understanding BDSM and power exchange to why humiliation and taboo fantasies can actually be healing. Ms. May shares what her clients request most, how kink can create emotional release, and what it’s like to separate her professional “Mistress” persona from her personal life.

This is not your typical sex conversation — it’s raw, fascinating, and deeply human.

👉 Watch Part 2 on Substack for the full unfiltered visual version (YouTube gets a little sensitive).

Head to Substack here: https://karenbigman.substack.com/p/why-people-pay-to-be-dominated-and

Timestamps:

00:00 – Show intro: mission + midlife sexuality

00:35 – Why people pay to be dominated

01:05 – Guest intro: Ms. May, dominatrix & dungeon owner

01:45 – Path to pro: from private submissive to domme

03:00 – Learning the dungeon “pro” side

03:40 – Berlin studio years (Fetish Institute)

04:20 – BDSM 101: terms, roles, “vanilla” clarified

05:30 – Who hires a domme: client diversity

06:10 – Common requests: latex, bondage sacks, hoods, sensory play

07:05 – Subspace and meditative states explained

07:45 – Taboo play and humiliation: why it appeals

08:40 – Power release for high-status clients

09:15 – Can kink heal? Shame, consent, reclamation

10:05 – Re-writing past scripts and saying “no”

10:45 – Is kink always sexual? What “sex” means here

11:35 – Outcomes: orgasm vs experience, cages, spanking, observation

12:25 – Boundaries and emotional detachment as a pro

13:05 – Dating while a sex worker: stigma and challenges

13:55 – Visual segment setup: toy wall preview

14:15 – Collars, leashes, gags, cuffs: use cases

15:05 – Latex bondage jacket: full restraint demo

15:55 – Session length: 2–6 hours or longer with breaks

16:25 – Safety checks: breath, numbness, positioning

16:55 – Pre-scene negotiation: activities, health, tools, marks

17:45 – Consent frameworks: traffic-light safe words

18:25 – Mid-scene check-ins and non-verbal protocols

18:55 – Aftercare: down-ramp, tea, biscuits, grounding

19:30 – How to hire a pro: research, screening, deposits

20:20 – Red flags and scams: who contacts whom

20:55 – Pricing in London: typical hourly range

21:20 – Legal landscape: UK partial legality

21:55 – Germany model: registration and limits

22:30 – Why decriminalization is preferred

23:00 – UK vs Germany studio culture and isolation

23:35 – Personal switch: being submissive privately

24:00 – Lightning round: definition of sex

24:25 – Lightning round: best orgasm

24:45 – Lightning round: untried fantasy

25:05 – Key takeaways

25:35 – Substack CTA: full video and sensitive visuals

26:10 – Like, follow, review, share

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed...