What are you saying about your spouse when they're not in the room? And could the way you talk about your marriage to others be slowly poisoning it instead of protecting it?

In this episode, we shift focus from how we talk to each other to how we talk about each other. Drawing from Genesis 2:24, we explore how "one flesh" means you have a shared reputation—when people think of one of you, they think of both. What you say about your spouse when they're not around either builds up your marriage or tears it down.

We dive deep into James 3:6-8, which describes the tongue as "a flame of fire" and "full of deadly poison" that no one can tame on their own. We emphasize that you can tear down your spouse publicly, but if you do, you're tearing down your own flesh—and it reflects poorly on you.

The core of this episode distinguishes between processing (healthy, purposeful reflection aimed at clarity and growth) and poisoning (venting to anyone who will listen to validate your side). We explain how processing should be done with safe, godly people who aren't gossips and won't use your words against you. It requires the right tone—not complaining, derogatory, or sarcastic.

Poisoning looks like seeking validation, saying "I'm just venting," complaining to anyone (coworkers, friends, even your children—which is never fair to them), and using exaggerated, one-sided language. We share how research shows that repeated complaining physically rewires your brain to prioritize stress and negativity.

We address when it IS time to speak up: abuse, addiction, or unrepentant sin require biblical counseling. But we also advocate for "preventative maintenance"—seeking godly counsel even when things are fine, like a tune-up for your car. Marriage groups aren't just for crisis; they're for stewardship.

Your spouse should never have to wonder if you're on their side when they're not in the room. Guard your vows by protecting your marriage daily—in prayer, in God's Word, and in how you talk about each other.

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at everydayidopod@gmail.com. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.