Have you ever felt like you're living in someone else’s life script—following invisible rules, walking on emotional eggshells, and carrying pain that doesn’t fully belong to you?

Do you wonder why, even after cutting contact, your toxic family still seems to echo in your mind, body, or choices?

Survivors of enmeshed, narcissistic, or otherwise toxic family systems often live in what Jerry Wise brilliantly calls “the family trance”—a psychological and emotional programming that conditions our perception, keeps us loyal to dysfunction, and disconnects us from our true selves.

In this episode, let’s explore the core dynamics that keep us bound: family trance, self-differentiation, enmeshment, the misunderstood role of the “identified patient,” and the trauma of awakening.

🌿The Super Self of the Toxic Family System

🌿 Unpacking what it means to be in the “Family Trance”

🌿 Enmeshment creates a lack of connection, just as distance creates a lack of connection.

🌿What Jerry means by “self differentiation”

🌿 Whether our relationships with our families are in contact or no contact there is always still a connection

🌿 We cannot use an “other-centered focus” to change our family

🌿 Being centered on healing yourself is not selfish

🌿 Enmeshment is not closeness.

🌿 How to start “Self Differentiating”

Jerry T. Wise, MA, MS, CLC, is a renowned family-systems expert and self-differentiation coach with over 45 years of experience as a marriage & family therapist, addictions therapist, pastoral counselor, and certified life/relationship coach. He’s helped thousands of clients across 110+ countries, reaching millions online as he guides survivors of narcissistic, dysfunctional, or emotionally immature families to reclaim their authentic selves—cultivating resilience, confidence, and calm.

His signature “Road to Self” program, along with hundreds of free videos and trainings, focuses on healing through boundary-setting, emotional detachment, and reducing reactivity, helping individuals break free from lifelong patterns.

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Episode Sponsor:

Hiya is revolutionizing children's health with a pediatrician-approved, sugar-free multivitamin designed to nourish growing kids with the essential nutrients they need—without the junk. Made with 15 key vitamins and minerals, Hiya’s chewable formula is free from artificial sweeteners, dyes, and gummy additives, offering a cleaner, healthier approach to kids’ nutrition. Trusted by parents and loved by kids, Hiya is on a mission to build lifelong wellness habits from the very first bite.

Use my link 👉 https://hiyahealth.pxf.io/c/5964558/1730519/20098 to get 50% off of your first order with HIYA and free delivery!

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MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

📌 [Book] People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil by M. Scott Peck - https://www.amazon.com/People-Lie-Hope-Healing-Human/dp/0684848597

📌 [Book] Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel - https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641

CONNECT WITH JERRY:

📌 Website: https://www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/

📌 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jerrywise

📌 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jerrytwise/

📌 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JerryTWise/

📌 Twitter: https://www.tiktok.com/@jerrytwise

📌 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jerrytwise/

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MY LATEST BOOK!!!

Adult Survivors of Emotionally Abusive Parents: How to Heal, Cultivate Emotional Resilience, and Build the Life and Love You Deserve - https://amzn.to/3UhURWI

*****

MY TEDx TALK:

📌 TEDx Talk Not All Parents Are Good by Dr. Sherrie Campbell - https://youtu.be/deyHwDkG7oc

BOOKS BY DR. SHERRIE:

⚉ Adult

Are you beginning to realize that your healing started the moment the noise stopped? The moment you cut ties with your family?

If your healing journey has felt spiritual, psychological, and deeply physical all at once, it's because it should be.

Spiritual teacher and empath mentor Jennifer Pilates, shares the embodied path of healing after cutting ties with a toxic family. Because healing after family trauma isn’t just a psychological process; it’s a full-body, soul-deep return to yourself.

🌿Learning to “be in your body”

🌿Healing and the mind/body connection

🌿Emotional repair cannot occur, and true health cannot develop into boundaries have been set or ties have been cut

🌿Manifesting a new life

🌿Spiritual healing

🌿Know who you are is a superpower

🌿You are far more powerful than toxicity

🌿Healing yourself gives those in your toxic family the opportunity to heal, whether they take that opportunity is not up to us

Jennifer Pilates - Spiritual Thought Leader, has been transforming clients' body, mind, and spirits worldwide for over 25 years as an Internationally Renowned Reiki Healing Master + Intuitive-Medium, Holistic Health & Wellness Expert Author, and Host of the Top-Rated Podcast Host Empowered Within.

Jennifer is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, detail-loving, stubborn-as-heck achiever, unshakeable optimistic, philanthropic, self-care activist, fur-baby momma, and ocean-loving intuitive-empath. From her readings to healing, from her training to writing, to her top-rated Podcast: Empowered Within, Jennifer has been leaving her inspirational, empowering, and transformational touch on clients and celebrities worldwide for well over two decades.

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Episode Sponsor:

Hiya is revolutionizing children's health with a pediatrician-approved, sugar-free multivitamin designed to nourish growing kids with the essential nutrients they need—without the junk. Made with 15 key vitamins and minerals, Hiya’s chewable formula is free from artificial sweeteners, dyes, and gummy additives, offering a cleaner, healthier approach to kids’ nutrition. Trusted by parents and loved by kids, Hiya is on a mission to build lifelong wellness habits from the very first bite.

Use my link 👉 https://hiyahealth.pxf.io/c/5964558/1730519/20098 to get 50% off of your first order with HIYA and free delivery!

*****

MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

📌 [Podcast] Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates - https://jenniferpilates.com/podcast-1

📌 [Podcast Episode] Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members with Dr. Sherrie Campbell - https://bit.ly/3GERPYi

📌 [Podcast Episode] How to Heal: Adult Survivors of Emotionally Abusive Parents with Dr. Sherrie Campbell - https://bit.ly/44P6cRZ

📌 [Program] Reiki Distant Healing - https://jenniferpilates.com/reiki-healing-events

📌 Jennifer Pilates Wellness Studio - https://jenniferpilates.com/wellness-studio

CONNECT WITH JENNIFER:

📌 Website: https://jenniferpilates.com/

📌 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkhV033DQEauG2X9AKs7mLA

📌 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejenniferpilates/

📌 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferPilates/#

📌 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferpilates/

*****

MY LATEST BOOK!!!

Adult Survivors of Emotionally Abusive Parents: How to Heal, Cultivate Emotional Resilience, and Build the Life and Love You Deserve - https://amzn.to/3UhURWI

*****

MY TEDx TALK:

📌 TEDx Talk Not All Parents Are Good by Dr. Sherrie Campbell - https://youtu.be/deyHwDkG7oc

BOOKS BY DR. SHERRIE:

⚉ Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. - https://amzn.to/3L3sMuA

⚉ But

Have you ever questioned whether your neurodivergence played a role in the trauma you endured—and perhaps even helped you escape it?

Was it the trauma that caused the ADHD, or did the ADHD cause the trauma?

In this powerful conversation, let's explore how living with undiagnosed ADHD made Angie, an ADHD coach and fellow survivor of a toxic family system, the perfect target for scapegoating—misunderstood, mislabeled, and chronically blamed in a family that punished difference instead of embracing it.

🌿 Children with ADHD are far more likely to be the family scapegoat

🌿 Similarities between the highly sensitive person and adhd

🌿The adhd child is often the truth teller, blurting truths out and facing harsh consequences

🌿 The superpower of hyper focus

🌿 The emotional fallout of being an adhd child in a toxic family

🌿 ADHD a result of C-PTSD

Angie Hurlburt is a Certified Advanced ADHD Life Coach, proud ADHDer, and mom of two ADHDers. Diagnosed later in life, Angie draws on her 42 years of lived experience navigating the challenges of a neurodivergent brain and surviving Family Scapegoating Abuse.

Now, she’s turning her passion for truth-telling and resilience into actionable change through coaching and The ADHD Scapegoat Podcast, which she co-hosts with her husband. Together, they tackle ADHD struggles, childhood trauma, and the realities of being an ADHD Scapegoat by having honest conversations about our lived experiences in hopes of creating a brighter future.

*****

Episode Sponsor:

Hiya is revolutionizing children's health with a pediatrician-approved, sugar-free multivitamin designed to nourish growing kids with the essential nutrients they need—without the junk. Made with 15 key vitamins and minerals, Hiya’s chewable formula is free from artificial sweeteners, dyes, and gummy additives, offering a cleaner, healthier approach to kids’ nutrition. Trusted by parents and loved by kids, Hiya is on a mission to build lifelong wellness habits from the very first bite.

Use my link 👉 https://hiyahealth.pxf.io/c/5964558/1730519/20098 to get 50% off of your first order with HIYA and free delivery!

*****

MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

📌 The ADHD Scapegoat Podcast (Spotify) - https://open.spotify.com/show/1ZMamXDJq6ClIsvWzRVMOo

📌 The ADHD Scapegoat Podcast (Apple) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-scapegoat-podcast/id1776395318

CONNECT WITH ANGIE:

📌 Website: https://adhdwithangie.com/

📌 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDwithAngie

📌 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhd_with_angie/

📌 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adhdwithangie

*****

MY LATEST BOOK!!!

Adult Survivors of Emotionally Abusive Parents: How to Heal, Cultivate Emotional Resilience, and Build the Life and Love You Deserve - https://amzn.to/3UhURWI

*****

MY TEDx TALK:

📌 TEDx Talk Not All Parents Are Good by Dr. Sherrie Campbell - https://youtu.be/deyHwDkG7oc

BOOKS BY DR. SHERRIE:

⚉ Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. - https://amzn.to/3L3sMuA

⚉ But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath - https://amzn.to/3tuNQEn

⚉ Your Pocket Therapist: Quick Hacks for Dealing with Toxic People While Empowering Yourself - https://amzn.to/3JBql1R

⚉ Success Equations: A Path to Living an Emotionally Wealthy Life - https://amzn.to/3uobd1u

⚉ Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person - https://amzn.to/36mlXp5

CONNECT WITH DR. SHERRIE:

⚉ Website: https://drsherriecampbell.com/

⚉ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SherrieCampbellPhD

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