What do an upside-down pineapple, flaming bicycle tires, and a wildly profitable foot-focused OnlyFans have in common.

One man.

Disclaimer: This episode is based on a true story. All names, events, and questionable choices have been changed or exaggerated for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to real people, especially sexy ones named Noah, is purely coincidental… probably.

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It's important to connect with people in a meaningful way.

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"Porn for Women" is a delightful book that humorously reimagines what women find alluring, created by the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative

1. "I love a clean house!"
2. "As long as I have two legs to walk on, you'll never take out the trash."
3. "Eat it! I don't like to see you so thin."
4. "Is that the baby? I'll go get her."
5. "I don't need a map. I'll ask for directions."
6. "Let's just cuddle tonight."
7. "I made you breakfast in bed."
8. "You look beautiful in those comfortable clothes."
9. "I love listening to you talk about your day."
10. "Don't worry about the dishes; I'll do them."

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Parents – Want to give your kids the snack that keeps on giving? Takis Blue Heat! But are your kids ready to Face the intensity?"

Your kids will experience a flavor explosion that tingles their taste buds and makes the corner of their mouths looking like they ate a village of smurfs.

Their little hands will seamlessly transfer that beautiful indigo blue to their clothes, your furniture, and anything they touch.

But wait, there's more! Our signature Red Dye 40 gives Takis their fiery hue and adds a dash of ADHD,.

Why not fuel their distractions with this instant gratification snack.

Need more convincing? We pack in potential carcinogens, so they can not only can enjoy takis today, but for the rest of their shortened life. Who needs cigarettes and vaping, when you've got Takis?"

Maybe your kids are the adventurous type.

Get them ready for the 'afterburn.' Takis' spicy kick ensures your road trip is interrupted by a 20 minute anal cavity explosion at a sketchy gas station in the middle of nowhere. Try not to get murdered while you wait for your child to blows it out

Disclaimer: Have a garden hose, towels, and rubber gloves ready at all times when eating. Plan for any health care deductibles, Chemo therapy, and long term care for cancer.

Get your bag of Takis today and face the intensity!

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Enough of this "Get some balls" or "Grow a pair" - balls are sensitive. Get tough like a Vagina.

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This 84 Year old lying grandma - F her. Police agreed.
Be kind - but don't be taken advantage of.

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It drives me f___ing nuts when auto correct wont let me cuss via test message.

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Get ready to go all the way with the one and only Sexy Voice Guy—where we ask the age-old question: “Did I go too deep?” Spoiler alert: You can never go too deep when it comes to making a vocal impact.

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Sexy Voice Guy - Voice So Sexy, It's Criminal |
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