What if the relationship model you’ve been taught your whole life… isn’t the only way to love?

In this eye-opening and deeply educational episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with sexuality educator, researcher, and author Jim Fleckenstein for a no-BS conversation about polyamory, swinging, open relationships, and the many forms of consensual non-monogamy. With over 20 years in the field, Jim shares the research, real-life experiences, and hard truths that challenge everything you think you know about love, sex, and commitment.

From breaking down the different types of non-monogamous relationships to busting seven of the biggest myths people still believe, Jim pulls back the curtain on what makes these relationships thrive—and where they fail. They explore the role of communication, boundaries, and self-awareness in creating healthy dynamics, plus why jealousy might not be the deal-breaker you think it is.

Whether you’re monogamous, curious about opening your relationship, or already exploring non-monogamy, this conversation will give you the language, insights, and confidence to navigate love on your own terms—without shame.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• The difference between swinging, polyamory, and open relationships

• Why consensual non-monogamy is more common than you think

• How society stigmatizes non-monogamy—and why that’s changing

• The surprising research on relationship satisfaction in non-monogamous couples

• Understanding boundaries, agreements, and emotional safety

• Why women are often the ones initiating open relationships

• The truth about jealousy and how to manage it

• Common myths that keep people from exploring alternative relationship models

• What makes a non-monogamous relationship healthy, sustainable, and fulfilling

• How to talk to therapists, friends, and family about your relationship choices

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s really like to live, love, and thrive outside of monogamy, hit play, this episode might just change how you see relationships forever.

#SexAndBacon #JimFleckenstein #PolyamoryExplained #NonMonogamy #OpenRelationships #SwingingLifestyle #ConsensualNonMonogamy #RelationshipMyths #EthicalNonMonogamy #RelationshipAdvice #PolyamoryTips #HealthyRelationships #SexPositive #AlternativeRelationships #LoveOnYourTerms

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 02:52 Jim's Journey into Non-Monogamy

• 04:57 Research on Non-Monogamy

• 13:51 Types of Non-Monogamous Relationships

• 14:31 Swinging and Polyamory Explained

• 19:04 Open Relationships and Their Challenges

• 23:44 The Intersection of Kink and Non-Monogamy

• 25:23 Addressing Stigmas and Misconceptions

• 35:06 Seven Common Myths About Non-Monogamy

• 43:57 Debunking Relationship Duration Myths

• 44:38 Intimacy as a Measure of Relationship Health

• 46:44 Generational Shifts in Relationship Norms

• 47:14 Authenticity in Relationships

• 48:47 Non-Monogamy and Jealousy

• 52:42 Therapy vs. Coaching for Relationship Challenges

• 54:26 Nine Polyamory Myths Debunked

• 58:35 Navigating Non-Monogamous Relationships

• 01:02:49 Inclusivity in the Polyamory Community

• 01:16:47 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Jim

• X: https://x.com/JimFleckenstein

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/affirmativeintimacy

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jim-fleckenstein-6936681/

• Website: https://www.affirmativeintimacy.com/

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

What if the thing you’re most afraid of… is the very key to your healing?

In this powerful, raw, and eye-opening episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Mistress Mia Payne—owner of Pain With Purpose—for a deep dive into the healing side of BDSM. Together, they explore how kink can be a therapeutic tool for trauma recovery, emotional release, empowerment, and reconnecting with the body after pain.

From confronting abuse triggers in a collar to understanding the difference between consensual pain and trauma reenactment, this conversation peels back the layers on what it really means to reclaim power through intentional BDSM. Mia shares the science behind “cellular memory,” the unexpected link between kink and spirituality, and how her clients—many of them high-powered men and trauma survivors—have transformed their lives through her work.

Whether you’re kink-curious, healing from trauma, or just ready to ditch shame and explore your full self—this episode offers a radically safe space to reimagine what power, submission, and self-trust can look like.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• How trauma lives in the body—and why kink can help release it

• The difference between abuse and consensual BDSM (and why consent is everything)

• What “titration” is and how it helps retrain your nervous system safely

• Why dominant men often crave submission—and what it reveals emotionally

• Using pain as a spiritual tool for rites of passage, transformation, and clarity

• The psychology of humiliation, degradation, and praise in therapeutic sessions

• What submissives really get out of being “controlled”—and it’s not what you think

• How Mistress Mia’s clients overcame anxiety, depression, and trauma (and yes, one got off antidepressants!)

• Why shame is the true block to pleasure—and how to leave it at the door

Hit play if you’re ready to heal your body, your beliefs, and your boundaries—one consensual, empowered session at a time.

#SexAndBacon #MistressMiaPayne #BDSMHealing #TraumaRecovery #KinkTherapy #PainWithPurpose #RitesOfPassage #DominatrixWisdom #EmotionalRelease #ShameFreeLiving #FemininePower #SafeKink #SexPositiveHealing #AlternativeTherapy

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 04:48 Understanding the Healing Benefits of BDSM

• 08:12 Rites of Passage and Spiritual Practices

• 11:08 Client Experiences and Transformations

• 17:02 Tools and Techniques in BDSM

• 22:03 The Therapeutic Impact of BDSM

• 29:31 Introduction to Therapeutic BDSM

• 30:17 Challenges and Misconceptions

• 31:00 Coming Out and Acceptance

• 32:47 Sex Positivity and Personal Growth

• 37:03 Session Costs and Customization

• 40:19 Boundaries and Limits

• 44:22 Client Relationships and Communication

Connect with Mia Payne

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleaburke

• Links: https://beacons.ai/michelleaburke

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

What if your biggest heartbreaks, failures, and messy breakdowns weren’t the end of your story—but the beginning of your magic?

In this bold, beautiful, and brutally honest episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Michelle Burke—author of Hot Mess Magic—for a heart-opening conversation about owning your chaos, finding power in your pain, and learning how to rise without needing to be "put together" first.

From losing her dad and grandma within weeks to screaming grief into the sand on a frozen Jersey beach, Michelle shares the raw truth behind what it means to discover the magic in your mess. They explore what “dark feminine energy” really looks like (spoiler: it’s not about manipulation—it’s about unapologetic power), why emotional availability in dating starts with self-honesty, and how sitting in discomfort is the only way to truly heal.

If you've ever felt like a disaster in lipstick—or worried you’re too broken to find love, success, or peace—this one’s your reminder that messy doesn’t mean unworthy. It means you’re mid-alchemy.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• What “dark feminine energy” really means—and how to embody it with confidence

• Why your mess might be your greatest teacher (and how to reframe your pain)

• The truth about emotional unavailability—his, and yours

• Releasing rage and grief through physical movement, not emotional bypassing

• How to date with power—even if your life feels like a chaotic dumpster fire

• The magic of mirror work, solo dates, and becoming the love you seek

• Setting boundaries, letting go of friendships, and outgrowing your old self

• Why vulnerability is the portal to deeper connection, healing, and community

🎧 Hit play if you're tired of pretending you're fine, and ready to feel powerful because of your mess—not in spite of it.

#SexAndBacon #HotMessMagic #DarkFeminineEnergy #HealingEra #FeelYourFeelings #SelfWorthJourney #DatingWhileHealing #EmotionalAvailability #ReclaimYourPower #MessyHealing #UnfilteredFeminine #PersonalAlchemy

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 01:02 What is “dark feminine energy,” really?

• 02:25 Why women put others first—and how to stop

• 03:56 The birth of Hot Mess Magic and the story behind the book

• 07:13 Finding magic during grief, chaos, and emotional breakdowns

• 09:04 “Show me the truth”—the mantra that changed everything

• 10:56 Don’t bypass the pain: feel it, but don’t become it

• 12:00 Rage, grief, and kickboxing as therapy

• 14:52 What emotionally unavailable actually looks like in men (and women)

• 17:32 Dating during a hot mess—what to do, what not to

• 18:56 Becoming the love you want: solo dates, mirror notes, and self-devotion

• 21:34 Letting go of people you’ve outgrown—and the guilt that comes with it

• 24:26 You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with

• 25:42 Learning to receive instead of chasing in relationships

• 26:55 The art of not settling—and how to hold your standards

• 28:44 What kind of man are you actually calling in?

• 29:51 The masks we wear—and how isolation keeps us stuck

• 31:00 Releasing shame around money, failure, and public messiness

• 33:02 The power of safe community, storytelling, and permission

• 34:44 Final thoughts: give yourself permission to want more—and go for it

Connect with Michelle

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleaburke

• Links: https://beacons.ai/michelleaburke

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com