Today’s episode is basically what happens when you get sedated for a root canal and wake up with the spiritual clarity of a raccoon that’s seen God. I walk you through my little blue-pill voyage into the void, why Michael Jackson suddenly makes sense, and how the dentist almost turned me into a gold-tooth villain from a low-budget 90s rap video.

Then we dive face-first into the American political carnival: Shane Gillis roasting Trump’s “Biden brain,” why every comedian gets mislabeled like a can of expired soup, and my completely reasonable theory that Baron Trump might be the Antichrist (look, I’m not saying it’s true… I’m just connecting red strings in a shed).

We roll right into the Thanksgiving “Cousin Walk” epidemic—half the family sneaking out to smoke weed while pretending they’re “getting ice”—followed by the Maine mom who can’t take her kid to church because a judge decided God doesn’t deserve capital letters.

Then: Pras from the Fugees gets 14 YEARS for campaign donations, a New York senior shoots a mugger and still goes to prison because New York hates self-defense, and Jelly Roll drops weight, shaves his face, and suddenly looks like a friendly gas-station meth consultant.

It’s chaos, it’s comedy, it’s America wrapped in aluminum foil and microwaved too long.

Let’s jump in.

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