SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google, make money from your website cover art

SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google, make money from your website

SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google, make money from your website

By: Nikki Pilkington
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About this listen

 This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh bullshit faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.Copyright 2025 Nikki Pilkington Economics Marketing Marketing & Sales
Episodes
  • What The F**k Your SEO is Actually Charging You For (And Why It's a Scam)

    What The F**k Your SEO is Actually Charging You For (And Why It's a Scam)
    Dec 14 2025

    Ever been quoted some ridiculous SEO retainer and thought… hang on, what the f**k am I actually paying for? Yeah. Same as lots of my clients. And honestly, I’m tired of watching small businesses get fleeced by agencies who talk a big game but can’t explain a single thing they’re doing.

    Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m breaking down the biggest red flags in SEO.

    Guaranteed rankings. “Secret” methodologies. Vague contracts. The lot.

    If you’ve ever felt stupid for falling for any of this, don’t. These people are professionals at sounding credible while delivering absolutely nothing.

    By the end, you’ll know exactly what questions to ask, what bullshit to ignore, and how to spot an SEO that’s more scammer than specialist.

    Part two is coming next week, where I’ll show you what good SEO should actually look like (and what it should cost). But for now, let’s make sure you stop handing your hard-earned money to chancers.

    If you’ve got questions, come yell at me on LinkedIn or drop me an email. I don’t bite… unless you promise “guaranteed rankings.”

    Timestamped summary

    00:00 "Protecting Small Businesses in SEO"

    04:03 Vague SEO Contracts Warning

    09:27 Avoid SEO Shortcuts

    10:21 SEO: Hard Work, Real Experts

    This episode is all about helping you ensure your SEO isn't a red flag waving scammer. But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/

    Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
    Show More Show Less
    12 mins
  • SEO Doesn't Work If You Don't F**king Let It!

    SEO Doesn't Work If You Don't F**king Let It!
    Dec 7 2025

    I’ve lost count of the businesses that hire an SEO expert, pay good money, and then make it impossible for us to actually do the job.

    Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m calling out the ridiculousness I sometimes see when a business hires an SEO. Not you. You wouldn't do any of this, I'm sure. But we'll explore some of the absolute sh*ttery that can go down when one of us SEO experts gets hired by someone who doesn't understand what our role in their business actually is!

    If you want fluffy LinkedIn advice, this isn’t the show for you.

    But if you’re ready to stop sabotaging your own results and work with an SEO like a grown-up, hit play.

    This one might sting a bit — but it’ll make you money, which is all I f**king care about.

    Timestamped summary

    00:00 Freelancing Isn't Remote Employment

    04:26 Clients Restricting Access Harms Results

    09:00 Empower Your SEO Expert

    10:45 Respect Freelancers for Better Results

    This episode is all about helping you ensure your SEO is equipped to do their job properly.

    But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/

    Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
    Show More Show Less
    13 mins
  • SEO F**king IS for small businesses

    SEO F**king IS for small businesses
    Nov 30 2025

    In this episode I’m taking on one of the most annoying lies in the SEO world. You’ve probably heard it. “SEO isn’t really for businesses your size.” Yeah. That's total bullshit.

    Someone asked me about it on LinkedIn and honestly, I could feel my blood pressure rising.

    So I’m breaking down why small businesses keep getting fobbed off by big agencies and why it has nothing to do with SEO… and everything to do with profit.

    I talk through the real reasons you’re being dismissed and then walk you through what small businesses can actually do to get found. Local SEO wins. Smarter page titles. Writing content that answers real questions. Getting reviews. Fixing the basics on your website. It’s all here and none of it requires dropping two grand a month on an agency.

    If you’ve ever been told you’re “too small” for SEO or felt like your website is just sitting there like a digital paperweight, this one will sort you out.

    If it helps, follow SEO F**king What so you don’t miss next week’s episode. And if you know someone who’s been fed this same rubbish, send this to them. Sharing is caring and all that.

    Show More Show Less
    11 mins
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