Humility and humiliation are tangled up for me. Practicing healthy thinking when you’re “in the wild” is complicated: “right-sizing myself” vs shrinking myself. It feels safer to live in self-inflicted unworthiness than to risk vulnerability. However, it reinforces my old mindset that pain is inevitable, and I deserve it.

Pain, shame, and humiliation are human experiences and reactions based on trauma, history, fear, expectations, and emotional vulnerability. Once we’re emotionally aware, we choose to either continue carrying those feelings or allow ourselves to heal from them.

When someone offers me a compliment, I get uncomfortable. I brush it off, joke it away, believe the person is wrong about me, and divert the conversation to focus on them. I’m practicing pausing and letting the words land without an immediate response. Believing that someone might be right about my strengths is a spiritual discipline. Accepting praise, not just hearing it, is an act of courage. Believing what others see in me feels like arrogance, but it’s healing to let that truth feel comfortable like home, sitting in it long enough to grow self-esteem.

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