In this second episode of Difficult Relationships: When Grace Becomes Visible, Paul and Rebecca explore a foundational truth: before we can restore others, we must first be restoredourselves.

Turning to John chapters 18 and 21, Paul and Rebecca walk through Peter’s devastating denial and Christ’s gracious restoration. In John 18, Peter denies Jesus three times…backto back to back. This should serve as a sobering reminder that we all fail. But in John 21, Jesus does not discard Peter.Instead, He confronts him with a question that reaches beyond behavior to the heart: “Do you love Me?”

Jesus begins the conversation by reestablishingthe relationship.

What would it look like if we followed that pattern? When confronting our child, a spouse, a brother or sister in Christ—do we begin with the relationship? Do we remember that restoration flows from love, not frustration?

As Jesus presses Peter with the repeated question, “Do you love Me?”, Peter is grieved. Yet his grief is not rejection—it is grace at work. As II Corinthians 7:9 says, “Ye sorrowed to repentance.” Godly sorrow leads to change.

Paul and Rebecca discuss how God’s grace must first teach us. If grace is not shaping our own hearts, we can quickly become harsh, critical, and bitter in our difficult relationships. Whether or not grace seems to be working in “the other person,” it must be working in us.

Before you seek to restore someone else, allowChrist to restore you.

Grace becomes visible when it first becomes personal.