Most so-called “high conflict” divorces are not what people think they are.

The term suggests two volatile adults locked in mutual chaos. But in a significant subset of cases, what looks like dysregulation is strategic. It is controlled, reputationally aware, and often concealed behind the language of concern, therapy, and child wellbeing.

In this episode, I examine how some separations become arenas for status repair and control after narcissistic injury. Drawing on trait-based personality psychology — particularly the Dark Tetrad — I outline why diagnostic psychiatry and family courts frequently misread these dynamics, and why well-intentioned interventions can unintentionally strengthen them.

If you have lived through this, you will recognise the pattern.If you are trying to understand why standard advice keeps failing, this will clarify why.

Free material is about recognizing patterns. The paid tier exists for a different purpose: applying that understanding to real situations. Psychobabble Insiders are invited to take part in live clinical case sessions twice a month, so join us this Saturday for a “How-To” on anxiety.

In this video, I walk through three everyday patterns in which narcissistic traits are reframed as vulnerability, self-awareness, or moral superiority and therefore escape recognition altogether. From self-diagnosis culture to parenting ideology, these behaviours are often praised rather than named appropriately.I also make an important distinction between Munchausen by proxy and the narcissistic mother, two dynamics that are frequently conflated, but psychologically and motivationally very different.This is not about demonising women or dismissing genuine mental health struggles. It’s about understanding how certain traits gain social immunity by wearing the language of care, suffering, and insight, and why that makes them so difficult to name.

Psychobabble’s free material focuses on helping people recognize psychological patterns. The paid tier is a different kind of work: twice a month you are invited to join our clinical case sessions live video, where we work though a concrete situation together. Focusing on applying psychological insight.

Episode Chapters: 00:00 Why This Is Never Called Narcissism02:18 Narcissism That Looks Like Vulnerability06:12 Self-Diagnosis as Status and Shield12:04 Munchausen by Proxy vs. the Narcissistic Mother18:47 Gentle Parenting and Moral Superiority25:36 Why This Pattern Is So Hard to Name

Psychobabble Insider Interview: The Four Horsewomen of Modern FeminismA conversation with David Maywald on misandry, gamma bias, gynocentrism, and gaslighting, and how these cultural forces shape therapy culture, family dynamics, and emotional double standards.

Upcoming Live SessionThis Saturday, 31st January at 2 PM Eastern, I’ll be hosting a live clinical case session with Luella Jonk, PhD, on couples therapy:

“When She Says She’s Done.”A real-time analysis of emotional withdrawal, shutdown, resentment, and what actually happens in relationships when one partner disengages. Please join in the conversation!

Therapists can’t say no to women, psychiatry won’t protect its categories, and TikTok has turned serious disorders into identity accessories.In this video, I walk you through a proper differential diagnosis and show why the behaviours commonly labeled “AuDHD” are not autism, not ADHD, and not neurodevelopmental at all.

0:00 — The rise of AuDHD: diagnostic Frankenstein1:03 — The AuDHD Differential Diagnosis1:29 — Why this isn’t autism3:51 — Masking becomes an unfalsifiable excuse5:40 — Meltdowns, “stimming,” anxiety: misdiagnosis exposed8:04 — This isn't AuDHD, it's borderline behaviour10:03 — The gender inversion comorbidity split 14:53 — The death of differential diagnosis

👉Missed the live clinical case session? You can watch the full recording here: