Crystal Hollenbeck and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about the power and purpose of triggers, the appropriate time to utilize communication skills, and each of the seven steps of the CALMING model, including handling residual anger and resentment. We often think that anger is the only option for control after betrayal, but Crystal challenges this limiting belief and offers hope to anyone who is ready to move on from an angry life.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:52] Why should I do anything? He betrayed me.

[5:42] Triggers are normal and can be helpful.

[7:27] What to expect from the leveling stage.

[13:13] The management and intuition stages of CALMING.

[20:21] Trusting your intuition after betrayal.

[25:17] The role of forgiveness in healing.

[30:41] This behavior increases the likelihood of repeat betrayal.

[32:30] Boundaries are protection, not restriction.

[34:35] Grieving loss and recognizing the positives of post-traumatic growth.

[43:44] Moving on after grief is possible.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Crystal Hollenbeck

Betrayal Healing Conference

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “This is part of your story now. You have to talk about it.”
• “I have never seen a client not be grateful for healing work, because they come in with wounds they didn’t know exist.”
• “Forgiveness is for you, not the person that harmed you.”
• “Boundaries are protection, not restriction.”
• “We never stop grieving. We learn to live with grief.”