In this episode of Paradigm Shifting Books, Stephen and Britain Covey return to the foundational principles behind Michael Bungay Stanier’s bestselling book The Coaching Habit. Building on their previous conversation about The Advice Trap, they unpack why most people jump too quickly into giving answers and how learning to “stay curious longer” transforms leadership, mentoring, and everyday conversations.

Stephen walks through the seven core coaching questions that form the backbone of Michael’s work, explaining how these simple prompts help leaders shift from advice givers to effective guides. Britain brings a unique perspective from the world of professional sports, reflecting on what great coaching looks like in high-pressure environments and why the best coaches help players discover insights for themselves.

Together, they explore how these seven questions create clarity, empower others, and strengthen relationships, whether in the workplace, on the field, or at home. This episode is a practical, wisdom-packed guide for anyone who wants to influence others in a more meaningful and effective way.

What We Discuss

• [00:00] Introduction
• [00:46] Overview of Michael Bungay Stanier’s books
• [01:51] The seven coaching questions
• [03:13] Brit’s perspective: Athlete’s perspective on coaching
• [05:27] Guiding others to their own solutions
• [07:20] Applying coaching in leadership
• [08:13] When direct advice is needed

Notable Quotes

• [01:22] " The main principle is this, which is to stay curious longer and to rush to advice a little more slowly." – Stephen
• [02:49] " Literally, if you just ask these questions, then you automatically are, in a way, like a pretty effective coach." – Stephen
• [05:12]  I've always loved that concept of like, in order for you to influence someone, you almost have to help them come up with this idea or their own version of it organically.” – Britain
• [05:27] “ All these questions, they’re a guide to help other people come up with their own solutions. Because those solutions will always stick more.”– Britain

Resources

Paradigm Shifting Books

• Podcast
• Instagram
• YouTube

Book

• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier

Britain Covey

• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Stephen H. Covey

• LinkedIn

In this episode of Paradigm Shifting Books, hosts Stephen and Britain Covey explore Michael Bungay Stanier’s transformative work, The Advice Trap, a companion to his earlier book, The Coaching Habit. Michael delves into the concept of the “Advice Monster,” explaining how the impulse to offer quick solutions often leads to ineffective problem-solving. Instead, he advocates for staying curious longer to encourage deeper understanding and foster self-sufficiency in others. This approach not only enhances leadership and coaching skills but also improves personal relationships and parenting.

Throughout the episode, Michael breaks down the three types of advice monsters: Tell It, Save It, and Control It, and offers practical tips on how to tame them. By shifting the focus from providing answers to asking the right questions, you’ll learn how to empower others to think critically and solve problems on their own. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to improve their coaching, leadership, and communication skills, especially in work environments, parenting, or coaching settings.

What We Discuss

• [00:00] Introduction
• [03:50] Three types of advice monsters and how they manifest in everyday life
• [07:40] How giving advice too quickly leads to solving the wrong problem
• [12:18] The art of asking questions instead of offering solutions
• [15:01] How the advice trap shows up in parenting, and how space can empower others
• [19:13] Why seeking control prevents growth and what true empowerment looks like

Notable Quotes

• [03:25] "The advice monster is a sneaky impulse that wants to jump in with answers before we truly understand what’s going on." – Michael Bungay Stanier
• [10:29] "We all rush to solve problems, but sometimes the first problem isn’t even the real problem." – Michael Bungay Stanier
• [12:00] "Advice is everywhere, but what people really need is space to think and explore for themselves." – Michael Bungay Stanier
• [19:13] "The act of listening to understand is not about being smart, it’s about giving up control and empowering the other person." – Michael Bungay Stanier

Resources

Paradigm Shifting Books

• Podcast
• Instagram
• YouTube

Book

• The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier

Michael Bungay Stanier

• Website
• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Britain Covey

• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Stephen H. Covey

• LinkedIn

In this episode of Paradigm Shifting Books, Stephen and Britain Covey dive into the profound teachings of Viktor Frankl, the legendary Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. This episode marks the first in the Legendary Series, where the two highlight timeless authors whose ideas have had a lasting impact. Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning serves as the foundation for a deep exploration of how suffering can be endured when individuals find meaning in it.

Frankl’s insights are especially relevant in today’s world, as they demonstrate that even in the darkest circumstances, the human spirit has the power to choose its response. He shows that purpose can provide a lifeline through suffering. Whether navigating personal challenges or seeking deeper fulfillment, Frankl’s wisdom offers transformative guidance.

This episode explores two of the most impactful paradigms from Frankl’s work, examining the power of personal freedom in choosing one’s response and the essential role that meaning plays in survival.

What We Discuss

• [00:00] – Introduction to the Legendary Series
• [02:34] – Who is Viktor Frankl?
• [03:24] – The Freedom to Choose Your Attitude
• [06:42] – The Power of the Gap Between Stimulus and Response
• [13:10] – Finding Meaning in Suffering
• [15:04] – The Importance of Action

Notable Quotes

• [05:08] " Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing, the last of the human freedoms. To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances to choose one's own way." – Viktor Frankl
• [07:44] "The most beautiful thing about the human condition is that there’s a space in between stimulus and response. In that gap lies our freedom and our growth." – Britain Covey
•  [17:19] ”This book is a way that can help you realize that there is a meaning, there is a purpose for you in this life. There is something unique for you that only you can do.” – Stephen H. Covey

Resources

Paradigm Shifting Books

• Podcast
• Instagram
• YouTube

Book

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Britain Covey

• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Stephen H. Covey

• LinkedIn