Performance reviews and family gatherings might be more similar than you think. What if the same mindset could help you navigate both with less stress and more success? Today, I explore how leadership principles from Bowen Family Systems theory can transform the way you approach year-end reviews at work and those sometimes-chaotic holiday family get-togethers. Discover practical strategies to make both experiences more meaningful, less anxiety-inducing, and maybe even a little enjoyable.

Highlights

• Why performance reviews are so challenging—and how a mindset shift can help
• Three compelling reasons to embrace performance reviews as a leader
• Strategies for engaging top, mid-level, and lower-performing employees
• The 80/20 rule for effective performance management
• How ongoing conversations make reviews less uncomfortable
• Applying systems theory to family gatherings during the holidays
• Common anxious responses to family events and how to manage them
• Three actionable tips for navigating family dynamics with curiosity and intention
• The connection between family work and professional success

Chapters

00:00 — Introduction: Leadership, Systems, and the Holiday Season

00:34 — Why Performance Reviews Are So Hard

01:43 — Three Reasons to Embrace Performance Reviews

03:38 — Approaching Top, Mid-Level, and Lower Performers

06:49 — The 80/20 Rule in Performance Management

08:22 — Making Reviews Less Uncomfortable: Ongoing Conversations

09:22 — Shifting to Family Gatherings: Holiday Dynamics

10:55 — Typical Family Roles and Reactions

12:05 — Anxious Responses: Distancing, Conflict, and Avoidance

13:27 — Systems Theory: Working on Yourself in Family Settings

13:55 — Three Tips for Navigating Family Events

16:30 — The Ripple Effect: Family Work and Professional Success

17:01 — Closing Thoughts and What’s Next

Resources Mentioned

• Mindset by Carol Dweck
  https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322

If you found value in this episode, please share it with others and leave a review. Have thoughts or questions? I’d love to hear from you. Stay tuned for the next episode, where we’ll tackle the reality and challenges of anxiety in our systems—at work and at home.

Want to know how Systems Theory could be leveraged in your business? Contact us at https://iridiumleadership.com/ to learn more.

Are you leading from the calm center, or getting swept up in everyone else’s storm? Ever wondered why teams sometimes put relationships above results, or why it’s so hard to give honest feedback? Today, we’re exploring the powerful force of togetherness in leadership and how it shapes our decisions, our teams, and even our families. From high-performing companies to historic disasters, discover how the drive to belong can both help us thrive and lead us astray—and what it takes to balance connection with individuality.

Highlights

• The “togetherness force” in Bowen Family Systems Theory and its impact on leadership
• The tension between belonging and individuality in teams and families
• Real-world stories: From a loyal manager’s blind spot to the culture at HubSpot
• The dangers of groupthink, illustrated by the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster
• How performance reviews and family holidays reveal our need for connection
• Practical steps for leaders to stay grounded and foster healthy individuality
• A challenge to observe togetherness behaviors in your own systems

Chapters

00:00 — Introduction: The Power of Togetherness

00:34 — What is the Togetherness Force?

01:06 — The Pull Between Belonging and Individuality

01:53 — Teenagers and the Tug-of-War for Independence

02:15 — Leadership Story: Justin’s Loyalty and Its Limits

03:09 — Productive Togetherness: Why We Need It

05:43 — HubSpot: A Case Study in Healthy Team Culture

07:26 — When Togetherness Goes Too Far: Groupthink and Conformity

08:15 — The Challenger Disaster: A Lesson in Suppressed Dissent

10:32 — Everyday Examples: Performance Reviews and Family Dynamics

12:18 — Balancing Connection and Individuality as a Leader

13:46 — A Story of Courageous Individuality in the Workplace

15:14 — Summing Up: Staying Grounded Amidst the Pull

16:39 — A Challenge for Listeners: Observe Togetherness in Your Life

17:47 — What’s Next: Performance Reviews and Family Holidays

17:48 — Closing Thoughts

Resources Mentioned

• Book: “True to You” by Kathleen Smith
  Find it on Amazon
• Space Shuttle Challenger Disaster
  NASA Challenger Overview

Want to know how Systems Theory could be leveraged in your business? Contact us at https://iridiumleadership.com/ to learn more.

Are you ready to rethink what it means to lead? What if your greatest impact as a leader isn’t just about your skills or personality, but about how you show up in the larger system around you? Discover how understanding the hidden dynamics of groups can transform your leadership, your team, and even your own sense of clarity and purpose. Through stories, science, and practical insights, we’ll explore how Bowen Family Systems Theory can help you become a more grounded, effective, and authentic leader at work and beyond.

Highlights

• Who will benefit from this podcast and why leadership is for all leaders, not just those with a title
• The goal and focus of the show: applying family systems thinking to leadership challenges
• Host’s background: 38 years in corporate leadership, coaching, and a passion for human behavior
• Defining leadership and the importance of groundedness and clarity
• The critical role of relationships in productivity and leadership success
• A personal story of standing firm in values under pressure
• Why the podcast is called “Noble Metal” and what noble metals teach us about leadership
• Introduction to Bowen Family Systems Theory and its origins
• Real-world examples of how leaders impact organizational systems
• Key traits of Bowen Theory and why anxiety and emotional connectivity matter
• Practical takeaways for leaders: how to get more objective, lower anxiety, and make better moves

Chapters

• 00:00 — Welcome & Introduction
• 00:45 — Who Will Benefit from This Podcast?
• 01:11 — Episode Goal and Focus
• 02:28 — About the Host: Experience and Passion
• 03:15 — Defining Leadership
• 04:02 — Groundedness in Leadership
• 04:43 — The Importance of Relationships in Leadership
• 05:32 — A Personal Leadership Story
• 07:01 — The Need for Leaders to Define Themselves
• 07:26 — Why “Noble Metal”?
• 07:53 — Properties of Noble Metals and Leadership
• 10:28 — Introduction to Bowen Family Systems Theory
• 13:04 — Murray Bowen and the Origins of the Theory
• 15:44 — Key Traits of Bowen Theory
• 21:58 — Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Resources Mentioned

• Bowen Family Systems Theory — Learn more: Georgetown Family Center
• Books & Thought Leaders:
  • Murray Bowen, founder of Bowen Theory
  • Kathy Wiseman, Bowen family systems thinker
  • Dan Papero, family systems thinker

Want to know how Systems Theory could be leveraged in your business? Contact us at https://iridiumleadership.com/ to learn more.