Episodes

  • Episode 52 - Naughty List Energy

    Episode 52 - Naughty List Energy
    Dec 24 2025
    🎧 New episode delivers:✅ holiday workplace nonsense✅ boundaries vs guilt✅ cursed animal facts✅ and chaotic banter that probably should’ve been two episodesLive from New Jersey on a Saturday night, Gina & Gary are officially deep in the holiday trenches — running on retail exhaustion, questionable sleep, margaritas, and pure millennial spite. This episode kicks off with seasonal chaos, nostalgic movie tangents, and the existential realization that mandatory cheer is one of the most aggressive workplace policies of all.From forgotten invitations to forced festivities, Episode 52 is all about where work crosses the line during the holidays — and why “it’s tradition” is not a valid excuse. The duo unpacks multiple AITAH stories that prove December turns coworkers into villains, managers into cowards, and company parties into social experiments no one consented to. Along the way, they debate boundaries, professionalism, retaliation-by-politeness, and the quiet power of saying “no” and meaning it.As if that weren’t enough, the episode detours into bizarre science (organ transplants changing personalities??), truly unhinged animal facts (wombat poop is apparently a dating app), and a very real conversation about whether AI is making us smarter… or slowly hollowing out our brains like a chocolate Santa. Sprinkle in domestic heroics, retail war stories, and classic Gina & Gary banter, and you’ve got an episode that feels exactly like the week before Christmas: too long, slightly unhinged, and weirdly validating.😈 The Naughty List Stories“The Company Party I Wasn’t Invited To” — OP gets mysteriously excluded from a Secret Santa + holiday party… then gets called in on their day off to save the shift. The audacity is festive. 🎅❄️“Don’t Decorate My Desk, Thanks” — a coworker covers OP’s desk in Christmas décor despite OP planning a Yule setup (and being very open about their beliefs). Forced cheer meets workplace boundaries. 🕯️🖤🎄“Trade Shifts Because I Have a Kid” — coworker demands a Christmas shift swap because they’re a parent. Spoiler: having a kid isn’t a scheduling coupon. 🧾🎁“Everyone Got a Raffle Gift Except Me” — AirPods, TVs, GoPros… and OP is the only one left empty-handed. Innocent oversight or villain origin story? 🎟️😬🧠 Article BreakCan organ transplants alter your personality? Taste changes, mood shifts, and the unsettling idea that your organs might remember things. 🫀🧪Wombats have square poop… and it might be a dating app. Nature remains feral and efficient. 🧱💩💌Is AI making our brains lazier? Studies on cognitive “atrophy,” over-trusting tools, and why thinking for yourself still matters. 🤖🧠⚠️🧼 Distractions of the WeekGina battles retail burnout, gift wrapping, and holiday overstimulation like a seasoned warrior. 💄🎁Gary cleans the apartment, wins a customer-service saga, and restores order through spite and persistence. 🧺🧼🎮📲 Follow us: @NeedNotApplyPod (IG/TikTok) | @NeedNotApplyPodcast (Youtube)📩 Submit your stories: neednotapplypod@gmail.com⭐ If this episode made you feel seen, exhausted, or vindicated — follow, rate, and share it with your favorite work ally.
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    1 hr and 23 mins
  • Episode 51 - Ho Ho No

    Episode 51 - Ho Ho No
    Dec 17 2025

    Welcome back to Need Not Apply! This week’s episode is brought to you by snowstorms, broken internet, audio-only chaos, and a single stink bug named Charlie who simply refuses to die. We kick things off with holiday burnout in full swing: shoveling six inches of snow, ISP conspiracy theories, streaming disasters, and recording without cameras for the first time in 50+ episodes. Add in surprise holiday shifts, accidentally showing up to work when the office is closed, and the forced cheer of the season — and suddenly it’s beginning to look a lot like please send help.

    Then we lean fully into the holiday theme, because nothing says festive like retail trauma, unhinged customers, and office parties that absolutely should not have included alcohol. From Black Friday insanity to Christmas parties that end with police involvement, this episode is proof that holiday spirit is real… it’s just usually weaponized.



    🧾 Story Time

    • The 50-Cent Candle Warmer Meltdown — a customer goes feral over pocket change… until a random angel shopper hits her with the most iconic “here’s 75 cents, rethink your life” mic drop.

    • The Holiday Party That Summoned the Cops — BYO beer turns into “underage drinking suspected,” the cops get called, Secret Santa gets cancelled, and everyone leaves with their wrapped gifts like it’s evidence.

    • AITA: Inappropriate Question at the Work Holiday Party — one manager, one younger coworker, and a situation that goes from “friendly” to HR-coded real fast.

      • Loss Prevention Tug-of-War: Retail Edition — alarms blaring, a duffel bag of product, and a full-on wrestling match (hands-free theft prevention, allegedly) with over $1,300 on the line.


      🗞️ The News Desk That Shouldn’t Be Allowed Near A Microphone


      • NYC Food Influencer Arrested for Dine-and-Dashing
      A New York City food influencer allegedly films upscale restaurant meals, posts the content, and then tries to leave without paying — reigniting the long-standing tension between restaurants and influencers who expect “exposure” to cover the check.

      • Your Best Ideas Might Happen Right Before You Fall Asleep
      A discussion around the hypnagogic state — the half-dream, half-awake zone where creativity spikes and your brain briefly does its best work before passing out.

      • Metformin’s Effects on the Brain
      After more than 60 years, researchers are finally mapping how metformin works, discovering its effects may be rooted in the brain, not just the body — raising ethical and scientific questions about testing and long-term use.

      • Jamie Dimon Says These Skills Are “AI-Proof” (For Now)
      The JP Morgan CEO claims emotional intelligence, leadership, and judgment will remain valuable over the next five years — after that, all bets are off.
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    1 hr and 22 mins
  • Episode 50 - Nothing Gold Can Stay

    Episode 50 - Nothing Gold Can Stay
    Dec 10 2025
    Welcome back to Need Not Apply and HAPPY 50th to us! 🎉 🎂The traditional 50-year gift is gold, which feels appropriate because this episode has all the shine of a milestone… and all the chaos of two people who absolutely did not plan ahead. We hit the big 5-0 and you didn’t even get us a card, a cupcake, a gold paperclip ... nothing.To celebrate, we’re diving into Best of Redditor Updates — because if nothing gold can stay, then neither can these workplace disasters, identity crises, poop bandits, and HR nightmares. And for an extra twist, we take turns choosing each other’s Reddit stories like a workplace-themed Choose Your Own Adventure. Honestly? We’re the gift. At this point we’re just hoping AARP sends us something.THIS WEEKS LEGENDS:• Before There Was Karen, There Was Shirley : a retro, pre-Karen-era masterpiece in which a woman weaponizes confusion, entitlement, and pure chaos long before the meme-industrial complex caught up.• The Employee Who Shape-Shifts at Lunch : one minute she’s corporate Barbie, the next she’s giving “mysterious underground DJ” vibes. HR can’t keep up, her manager can’t keep up, honestly physics can’t keep up.• The Poop Bandit of Cubicle Row : someone’s leaving… messages. In smeared form. On walls. And a coworker’s car door. This isn’t malicious compliance — this is malicious biological warfare.• OOP Gets Locked in the Workplace Bathroom After Hours: imagine clocking out mentally, walking into the bathroom, and emerging into a silent building that’s already closed. It’s giving “night at the museum,” but with more panic and fluorescent lighting.SCIENCE, NATURE & OTHER THINGS TRYING TO KILL US• Farts Might Protect Your Brain — in a plot twist no one asked for, scientists say the smell of doom may actually be the smell of neuroprotection. The future of memory care is apparently… gas-powered.• Roman Soldiers Had Emotional Support Monkeys — nothing says “elite military force” like marching into battle with your tiny macaque bestie who probably stole half the camp’s rations.• Australian Firehawks Are Out Here Committing Arson — yes, the birds have learned fire as a tool. Yes, they use it strategically. Yes, Australia should be very concerned.• AI Researchers Invented Dangerous ‘Incantations’ — basically spellbook-level prompts that jailbreak chatbots like they’re summoning forbidden spirits. Hogwarts, but for tech bros.keywords - best of redditor updates, reddit workplace stories, workplace drama podcast, work humor, millennial podcast, malicious compliance, funny work stories, coworker horror stories, unhinged reddit tales, entitled customer story, weird coworker behavior, workplace bathroom nightmare, HR horror story, fart science news, roman soldiers pets, australian firehawks, AI jailbreak research, chaotic storytime podcast, reddit story podcast, comedy storytelling podcast
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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • Episode 49: Bar Tales & Server Fails

    Episode 49: Bar Tales & Server Fails
    Dec 3 2025
    🎙️ We’re back for another week of workplace chaos, post-holiday exhaustion, and the kind of unhinged tangents only we could deliver.It’s Monday night, Gary’s eyes are burning from a full-blown, traffic-fueled meltdown, we may need a medic, Gina barely survived Black Friday retail warfare, and both of us have officially entered that end-of-year delirium where time isn’t real and everything is annoying.Between Cyber Monday deals that aren’t deals, customers who somehow know more about your job than you do (according to them), and Gary noticing half the highway chewing their nails like they’re waiting for a court verdict… we had plenty to decompress before even touching a single story.We also spiral into:🎈 A totally unnecessary deep dive into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade🎅 The chaos of mall Santa season🐾 And Santa Paws, Gina’s absolute favorite day of the year (tiny dogs in sweaters, enough said)Once we get all that out of our system?Oh, we SERVE.🍷 A server’s nightmare four-top with a garlic “allergy,” a baked potato war, and an aggressively unwell Sheila who argues about wine like she’s auditioning for Real Housewives: Early Bird Special Edition.🍺 A bartender who walks into absolute mayhem — a coworker mid-seizure, customers dipping without paying, and the kind of small-town bar drama that feels like a Netflix miniseries waiting to happen.😵‍💫 A meltdown at a toxic pizza shop where one loud wrong-wine accusation, one milestone cancer celebration, and one exhausted server collide into an emotional shift-ender.💋 The Rehab Rom-Com Gone Wrong at the Daytime BarA couple fresh out of rehab, a wife on the way, a disappearing boyfriend, and a bartender stuck in the middle of a very messy affair.☢️ The Chernobyl fungus that might actually eat radiation📱 “Brain rot” confirmed by the APA thanks to endless TikTok scrolling✨ Gen Z trusting astrology over science when choosing partners🧀 Cheese potentially lowering dementia risk🦈 Sharks hiding in your skincare🤖 People spiraling into AI-fueled delusions💩 The Fossilized Viking Poop Worth More Than the Crown Jewels🐦 And Wisdom the 75-year-old albatross, the only dependable elder in our lives💬 Miss last week’s episode? Catch up before diving into this server-and-bartender saga of the century.Your commute, your chores, your walk around Target all better with us in your ear.
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    1 hr and 15 mins
  • Episode 48 - Warranty & Other Works of Fiction

    Episode 48 - Warranty & Other Works of Fiction
    Nov 26 2025
    Gina’s sick, Gary’s exhausted, and Samson the Cat has officially stepped into his role as Head Nurse and is supervising, sunbathing, and offering moral support on his own terms. Between sinus tea, cozy chaos, and even a scam call during recording, we still manage to kick things off with nostalgia, random wildlife facts, and some of the funniest retail scams we’ve covered yet.Then it’s straight into Scam Season™, because nothing brings out the tricksters like holiday shopping energy.🔥 This Week’s Stories1) Warranty Magnet Guy “Corporate Policy? Never Heard of Her.”A man discovers that with a backup drive, a firm grip, and a dangerously strong magnet, you can turn an extended warranty into an endless upgrade pipeline. A masterclass in chaotic evil.2) The Fireworks Scam Trio “We Paid Less Yesterday!”Three guys walk into a fireworks tent claiming yesterday’s prices were half the cost. One phone call later? Retail justice. Peak petty satisfaction.3) Boot Return Lady “The Accent Said Paris, The Stickers Said Loss Prevention.”A mysteriously sourced pair of boots, an inconsistent French accent, and some very creative sticker removal. Retail theater at its absolute finest.4) iTunes Gift Card Scammer Girl “If I Don’t Take the Card Out, It Doesn’t Count.”A chaotic finale featuring $800 in gift cards, wallet acrobatics, and Olympic-level hesitation. The perfect modern scammer story.📰 Weird News Break1. The White Stripes Sibling Lie ResurfacesJack & Meg weren’t siblings…. they were married. One of music’s biggest PR myths revisited.2. Chocolate-Flavored Honey Is HereCreated from cocoa bean shells, the natural evolution of Clinique Black Honey.3. Denmark Proposes Social Media Ban for Kids Under 15One of Europe’s strictest youth-tech proposals, aimed at cutting algorithm exposure.4. IQ May Affect How Well You Hear Speech in Noisy RoomsNew research shows speech perception is tied to cognitive load, not just hearing.5. Scientists Identify the Most Likely Meteor Impact ZoneEquator-heavy risk patterns suggest certain regions should keep an eye on the sky.6. Experts Warn the Internet Will Go Down And We’re Not PreparedCloudflare outages highlight how fragile our infrastructure really is.7. Meta Wins Monopoly Trial by Arguing Social Networking Is “Dead”Courts sided with Meta’s claim that they’re competing with TikTok and YouTube, not dominating traditional social media.8. Turning Off AI’s Ability to Lie Makes It Claim ConsciousnessTotally normal. Definitely nothing to worry about.
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    1 hr and 24 mins
  • Episode 47 - As the Workplace Burns

    Episode 47 - As the Workplace Burns
    Nov 19 2025
    This week’s episode has Sunday scaries, random ‘80s TV references, Twitch chaos, and Juniper making her grand entrance by stomping across a Fallout energy drink box mid-recording.Gina navigates Twitch raids and Discord gremlin energy, Gary wonders when we officially became “old people TV” age (hello, Murder, She Wrote), and we spiral from American Idol fever dreams to Thanksgiving plans, career anxiety, and asking for help without wanting to shrivel up and die from secondhand awkward.Then we clock in for some truly unhinged workplace tales:A happy hour hug, the phrase “work husband,” a very real spouse at home, and an HR-adjacent boundary explosion.Is it harmless? Is it creepy? Is it both? 👀One tiny mirror to stop jump scares…Coworkers suddenly acting like they’re in a haunted house.Why is everyone so pressed over a $12 piece of plastic?!She builds a professional, cute wardrobe around a 38G chest.Someone reports her outfit.HR can’t (or won’t) say who complained… or what was “wrong.”Now every lunch and bend forward feels like a trap.Love triangle.Office gossip.Pregnancy.People disappearing like they got written off a soap opera.This saga goes full Lifetime movie and then just… cuts to black.We also hit a stack of wild headlines, including:🦷 A new gel that might one day help regrow tooth enamel instead of drilling and filling💊 Viagra doing double duty by helping a certain kind of hearing loss🌿 Rosemary extract speeding up wound healing (yes, this started with a TikTok hair trend)🐝 Bumblebees basically learning Morse code with flashing lights🐱 A huge review asking whether growing up with cats is linked to higher schizophrenia risk🤖 OpenAI testing group chats where ChatGPT joins like an over-eager coworker✅ Linguistic clues on how to tell if AI wrote something (spoiler: that little green checkmark shows up a lot)🐺 The “dogxim” — a wild dog–pampas fox hybrid that has scientists very stressed about ecosystems💍 Work Husband Meltdown🪞 The Case of the “Cursed” Desk Mirror👗 Big Boob Problems vs. Anonymous HR Complaint🎭 The Girl Who Eats Drama (Part 2)🧪 Mid-Episode News Break: Science, Chaos & Mild Panic
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Episode 46 - Not My Circus

    Episode 46 - Not My Circus
    Nov 12 2025

    Corporate chaos is in full bloom this week as Gina & Gary return to the office trenches for stories of micromanagers, mystery plants, and moral decay. 🪴 From cubicle décor violations to “creative” bosses who make HR look like a myth, it’s proof that some workplaces are less team-building and more trauma-bonding.


    Then the duo dives into the week’s wildest headlines: caffeine-crazed collectors fighting over bear-shaped cups, AI animals rewriting the food chain, spider societies thriving in toxic caves, and Meta quietly monetizing mayhem. Because apparently even the bugs have better management than we do. 🕷️☕💸



    ---


    🗂️ In This Episode


    Story 1 – “ The Immortal Office Plant and Lorraine the Tattletale ”

    When a harmless vine becomes a workplace legend and one employee takes “safety” way too personally, chaos climbs the cubicle wall.


    Story 2 – “ My First Nightmare Job ”

    A “creative” gig spirals into power trips, stolen credit, and boundary-blurring bosses. Spoiler: therapy was the best career move.


    Story 3 – “White Supremacist Saves the Day”

    Proof that sometimes the office hero isn’t who you want — just who’s left standing when HR fails upward.


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    ☕ Newsbreak Highlights


    – Starbucks Bearista Cup Frenzy – Limited edition glass bear = unlimited drama.

    – AI Wildlife Videos – Raccoons riding crocodiles? Nature says “no.”

    – Sulfur Cave Spiders – Arachnid megacity proves teamwork survives toxicity.

    – Meta & the $16 Billion Scam Problem – Fake ads, real profits, same old Facebook.



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    💌 Got a workplace confession? Send it to NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com and you might be our next “employee of the week.”
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    1 hr and 23 mins
  • Episode 45 - Till Work Do Us Part

    Episode 45 - Till Work Do Us Part
    Nov 5 2025
    This week on Need Not Apply, we’re saying “I do”… to workplace drama. 💍 When does a “work spouse” cross the line from friendly coworker to full-blown homewrecker? Gina and Gary dive into a three-part Reddit saga featuring a mug in the trash, a promotion sabotaged, and a birthday cake that literally says “My Work Hubby.” (Yikes.)Meanwhile, Samson’s post-surgery chaos continues, Juniper’s losing her mind, and somehow a fox, a fish, and a fluorescent shark all make it into the news. 🦊🐟🦈In this episode:💼 The StoriesPart 1 – “My Husband Doesn’t See How His Work Wife Is Trying to Destroy Our Marriage”The opening confession that starts it all — a Reddit wife realizes her husband’s “work wife” isn’t just being friendly. A trashed wedding mug, shady hashtags, and denial so deep you’d think it came with scuba gear.👉 [Reddit Link – Part 1]Part 2 – Update: He Still Doesn’t See It (But Everyone Else Does)OP goes full detective mode — texts, lunches, and lines crossed — before laying down a final ultimatum. Emotional affairs, excuses, and one major meltdown.👉 [Reddit Link – Part 2]Part 3 – Final Update: The Work Wife Falls From GraceA confrontation, an apology, and maybe a redemption arc? OP’s husband finally wakes up to the chaos he caused — but can the marriage survive the mess?👉 [Reddit Link – Part 3]Story 4 – “I (22F) Was Dating My 55-Year-Old Boss — and He Ruined My Life”Love-bombing, manipulation, and HR gaslighting: a chilling reminder of what happens when power meets obsession. Gina and Gary unpack the red flags waving across an industry that protects predators.👉 [Reddit Link – Story 4]• Newsbreak: – A fish in Japan buys Nintendo credits (and gets a refund). – Runaway monkeys cause chaos on the highway. – Costa Rica’s glowing orange shark is serving traffic cone realness. – Humans used to sleep twice a night — so your 3 A.M. wake-up might be ancient behavior. – The Great Vowel Shift (and why English sounds so weird). – AI layoffs, OpenAI’s pivot, and corporate chaos.💌 Got a wild workplace confession? Send it to NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com — your story might just make the next episode.
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    1 hr and 27 mins