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National Insecurity

National Insecurity

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In the latest episode of the Dictators, President Donald Trump celebrates the most incredible, tremendous, absolutely historic first 100 days in office. He convenes a special meeting of his ad hoc National Insecurity Council, including little Marco, Tulsi Gabbard, Kristi Noem, Kash Patel, Pam Bondi and Petey Hegseth to discuss all the amazingly incompetent achievements they've had in the past few months of chaos. His overconfident advisors and loyal yes-people are sure that Pam's recent declaration of saving 258 million lives is actually an under count and the real number could in fact be 258 billion lives, which would span the past, present, future, and the multiverse. Poor Petey is very insecure about his insecure group chats and feels bullied by the rest of the group, and is even more concerned when he discovers that he is not the real Secretary of Defense. As the meeting spirals into delusion, they storm into the Situation Room to undertake a very important, very secret mission to eliminate the Houthis in Yemen once and for all, but instead get migrants killed. The insecurity rises when it's discovered that Elon Musk has been sleeping in the Situation Room trying to avoid both Trump and his Tesla board members. Trump and Elon discuss him stepping down permanently, and though he may occasionally visit and maybe even guest star on future episodes of the podcast, they will never be literal butt buddies ever again. So sad. So president for life.

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