“My friend the same age sleeps fine—why am I the one awake at 2 AM?” cover art

“My friend the same age sleeps fine—why am I the one awake at 2 AM?”

“My friend the same age sleeps fine—why am I the one awake at 2 AM?”

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 This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thelongevityvault.substack.com➤ “Every morning my body kicks me awake between 2:30–3:30 am. No matter what I do—no screens, peppermint tea, chamomile tea—I still wake up. Then I drift in and out until ~5:30 am, when I finally give up and get out of bed.It has been years of this.My doctor says it’s normal for my age, but I’m exhausted. Why isn’t anything working?”This is a question I’m most often asked — in many variations, but always with the same frustration behind it.They’d followed every piece of advice: good sleep hygiene, clean diet, regular yoga & meditation.Yet, the 3 AM wake-ups persisted.Why Standard Midlife Sleep Advice Brings Only Partial ReliefThe conventional wisdom around hormones and sleep in mid life & later decades contains solid science.Estrogen does support GABA function. Testosterone supports slow wave sleep. And, declining hormone levels do contribute to sleep disruption during mid-life, perimenopause and beyond.These insights have helped many understand why their sleep changed.But, if hormones fall for virtually all adults after 50, why do sleep outcomes differ widely?Hormones are one contributor to sleep quality — other systems also matter — but their decline in midlife often becomes the tipping point that turns occasional wake-ups into a regular 3 AM pattern.Some >50 Sleep Fine, Others Have More Challenges: What Makes the Difference?Most mid-life adults experience a decline in estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone production.This is expected biology.However, some continue to enjoy 7–8 hour nights. Others develop a 3 AM wake-up pattern that persists for years.A question I was recently asked captures this contrast:I’ve been waking at 2 or 3 AM since perimenopause, but my friend the same age sleeps like a baby. We both have lower estrogen—why am I the one staring at the ceiling?(Men: While this example focuses on a woman’s experience, the same dynamics apply with age-related testosterone decline and sleep disruption.)The difference isn’t just hormone levels.It can reflect how well the body keeps each part of the hormone process working — from hormone production to transport, receptor response, and clearance.For some, those pathways remain supported enough to stabilize sleep. For others, gaps in support can make the natural decline more disruptive.The Resignation Factor: You Don’t Need to Accept “Normal for Your Age”Instead of exploring why these differences exist, we are often encouraged to accept them.“I’m 65 — of course my estrogen is low.” Or: “My testosterone just isn’t what it used to be.”Healthcare providers often reinforce this acceptance with phrases like “normal for your age.”I’ve heard these phrases from my own doctors too.However, this resignation overlooks something important: the body continues hormone production throughout life.The reproduction axis may slow, but the* adrenal glands,* fat tissue,* muscle,* brain tissue,maintain capacity for production or conversion of hormones.The question is not whether your body can still produce and use hormones — it can.The question is whether these remaining pathways are receiving the support they need to function well.The Turkey & Tryptophan Problem: Why Incomplete Advice Leaves You Awake at 3 AMConsider the common advice: “eat turkey for better sleep because turkey contains tryptophan.”Technically accurate. Turkey does contain tryptophan, and tryptophan is required for melatonin synthesis.But this advice misses the other steps required for tryptophan conversion: the helpers that allow the body to transform tryptophan into melatonin. Without these pieces in place, the tryptophan remains un-used for melatonin synthesis.The same partial approach applies to hormone support more broadly.The advice “get morning sunlight and exercise” provides useful health benefits but doesn’t address whether your body has the resources required specifically for hormone synthesis and function.A useful analogy here is recommending a recipe while leaving out half the ingredients.Beyond Hormone Levels: The 4 Steps Your Body Needs to Use Hormones (for Sleep & Beyond)Hormone support requires addressing the full functional pathway—not just circulating levels.Here’s what that pathway includes:* Raw materials and helpers: the basic inputs and small helpers your body uses to build hormones. If these are under-supplied, production slows.* How hormones are carried to where they’re needed. Most hormones are produced in one organ but used elsewhere. If transport is inefficient, even adequate hormone levels may not reach their destination effectively.* Receptor sensitivity: how effectively cells respond to available hormones. If receptors respond weakly, the signal is muted regardless of circulating levels.* Clearance patterns: the body’s “clean-up process” after hormones are used. If clearance slows, recycled ...
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