In this episode, I’m joined again by dating coach Laurie Gerber (Love at Any Age) to unpack one of the biggest midlife dating challenges: how fast is too fast… and how slow is too slow?

Midlife dating mixed with dating apps can create a pacing problem: momentum matters, but trust matters too… and misreading either one can derail the whole thing.

Laurie and I compare our two approaches—hers from a woman’s trust-and-safety lens, mine from a man’s momentum-and-street-reps lens—and we lay the groundwork for a practical, balanced way to date smarter.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The core “Momentum vs Trust” tension (pressure alarm vs lost match)
• Thoughts on meeting people organically with more strategy
• Needy or prepared?
• Laurie’s proven funnel: Text (1–2 weeks) → Video chat → Coffee date
• What’s the magic balance point for keeping momentum while building trust?

About Laurie Gerber

Laurie Gerber is the founder of Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc. and the creator of Master the Art of Love, an online course for women over 50 who are ready to date like they mean it. She hosts the podcast Love at Any Age, and for over 20 years, she’s coached thousands of people in life and love, previously as President of the Life Coaching division at Handel Group®. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, A&E, Match, Zoosk, JDate, AARP, and her own Blog. Check out her TEDx talk on the power of truth-telling called “The Secret-Free Diet”

Listen to Love at Any Age on YouTube, Spotify, or Podbean, and grab her free webinar “3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments” at https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

Connect with Laurie:
Website: https://lauriegerber.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Watch the video version of this conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gj4f8-9Wvbo
• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: questions@50datesat50.com

Highlights for this episode:

In this episode, I bring on dating coach Laurie Gerber to coach me in real time—so you can hear exactly how a pro would tune up your dating life, too.

Laurie and I talk about my 104/100 score on her “Are You Ready to Date Like You Mean It?” quiz, my 7 deal-makers, and why I’ve been attracting the wrong attachment styles for years. We discuss approaches to vetting on dating apps—my faster-paced, phone-call filter versus her methodical, text-and-video-chat approach.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Laurie’s 3 stages of dating over 50 and obstacles that often keep people stuck in “not quite ready” mode.
• Why you may be attracting the same attachment styles that help to explain why you keep attracting the same kind of partner—and what to do about it.
• Discussion of Deal Makers/Breakers to keep them positive and inspiring rather than secretly negative and judgmental.
• A practical framework (Head–Heart–Hoo-ha) for assessing compatibility in midlife dating.
• Laurie and Paul debate how quickly you should get to the phone call. Why moving too fast to the phone can cost you potential matches—and why Laurie prefers video chats.

About Laurie Gerber

Laurie Gerber is the founder of Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc. and the creator of Master the Art of Love, an online course for women over 50 who are ready to date like they mean it. She hosts the podcast Love at Any Age, and for over 20 years, she’s coached thousands of people in life and love, previously as President of the Life Coaching division at Handel Group®. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, A&E, Match, Zoosk, JDate, AARP, and her own Blog. Check out her TEDx talk on the power of truth-telling called “The Secret-Free Diet”

Listen to Love at Any Age on YouTube, Spotify, or Podbean, and grab her free webinar “3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments” at https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

Connect with Laurie:
Website: https://lauriegerber.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Watch the video version of this conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IMf4y3FGlUw
• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: questions@50datesat50.com

Highlights for this episode:

Paul reviews the first five or over 30 Common Sense Dating Guidelines for the Gen X and Baby Boomer generations. The guidelines coalesce around the limited dating options these generations had in their youth compared to what is available today. Combining our life experiences with new dating tools, such as online dating, allows us to avoid the same embarrassing slip-ups we made in our youth.

Guidelines in this Episode:

• Thou Shalt Not Fish Off The Company Pier
• Thou Shalt Not Fish At Thy House of Worship
• Thou Shalt Not Flirt With A Friend’s Partner
• Thou Shalt Not Date A Friend’s Ex
• Thou Shalt Not Date A Friend’s Sibling

Episode Links:

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: questions@50datesat50.com

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/