Winter presses in and everything gets louder, especially the expectations placed on moms during the holidays. In this episode, we return from a hiatus to talk honestly about the mental load of motherhood in December, the pressure to create holiday magic, and how easy it is to perform joy while running on empty.

We swap stories, a road trip that dodged snowstorms, a surprise porcupine encounter, and a partner who literally clapped at a lamp.... But beneath the laughter is a deeper truth many overwhelmed moms know well: the invisible labor, perfectionism, and “shoulds” that make the holidays feel heavy instead of joyful.

We talk candidly about skipping Thanksgiving and Black Friday to protect our peace, how perfectionism hides in traditions we feel obligated to perform, and why some holiday rituals feel more like public performances than meaningful family moments. A gingerbread house meltdown becomes our stand-in for motherhood expectations, how tightly we cling to outcomes, and how quickly they fall apart with toddlers, sensory overload, and messy icing.

From there, we explore a gentler way forward for moms feeling burned out by the holidays: choosing fewer, truer rituals; loosening our grip on results; and letting magic show up where it actually fits, like spontaneous night sledding under yard lights.

The mental load of motherhood gets its due as we unpack the reality of gift planning, budgeting, buying, wrapping, and shipping while juggling work, sickness, and bedtime marathons. Gifting can be creative and loving when it’s supported, so we offer practical ideas for the next ten days: smaller gift lists, one decision a day, delegating pickups and shipping, intentionally sending some gifts late, and trading performative traditions for ones that fit your real family life.

If you’re a mom who needs permission to do less, feel more, and let go of holiday perfectionism—this conversation is for you.

If this episode made you feel seen, share it with a friend, subscribe for more honest motherhood conversations, and leave a review to help other moms find the show.
💬 Tell us: what’s one holiday tradition you’re rewriting this year?

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Molly’s website

We follow Kirsten’s path from noticing things about her child to an autism + ADHD diagnosis, showing how clarity changed home life, school decisions, and self-trust. We talk sensory needs, high masking in girls, 504 vs IEP, and choosing connection over forced resilience.

• trusting instincts alongside expert guidance
• sensory needs hidden as quirks and stims
• second child as context for nervous system differences and what's "typical"
• pandemic chaos
• teacher concerns - they finally see what we've been seeing
• 504 accommodations vs legally binding IEP
• choosing a clinic for diagnostic testing
• diagnosis as language, not stigma, for self-understanding
• school focus on tolerance versus environmental change
• boundaries with systems and protecting family energy
• resources for autistic girls and high-masking profiles

This conversation is a map for parents who feel unseen by charts and checklists. It offers language for advocating with schools, ideas for crafting a home that regulates instead of battles, and resources for recognizing high-masking autistic girls. Most of all, it’s permission to replace “tolerance training” with environments that fit. If this resonates, share it with a friend, subscribe for more grounded conversations, and leave a review so others can find us. Your story could be the lifeline another parent needs today.

Resources:

Yellow Lady Bugs - Podcast, book, source of a ton of info for neurodivergent girls and gender diverse youth

Tilt Parenting/Differently Wired book - This is another awesome resource to help make sense of how to navigate parenting neurodivergent kiddos

Telepathy Tapes - A podcast exploring how some non-speaking autistics communicate.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with other mamas!
Subscribing to our podcast and leaving us a review is one of the best ways for other people to find us.

You can always email is at mamayoubelong@gmail.com to let us know what you think, leave a story of how the show impacted you, or just say "hey"!

Kirsten's Physical Therapy website

Mama You Belong Instagram

Kirsten's Instagram

Molly's Instagram

Molly’s music on bandcamp

Molly’s website

Kirsten traces the journey from pressure-filled, sleep training newborn days to a more child-centered and connected approach to sleep. Together, we share how postpartum rage became a compass, how sensory needs shaped real rest, and why prioritizing relationship over rules brought relief.

• check in: school strain reaches a tipping point and home education is considered; Molly pursuing an amazing creative endeavor!
• Kirsten's experience as a first time mom. The sleep "shoulds" were HEAVY
• postpartum rage named as boundary signal and guide
• the weight of sleep training culture and external validation
• sensory input, proximity, and ritual as sleep supports
• co-sleeping stigma vs what actually works for rest
• unlearning rigid schedules or expectations and centering relationship over expectations
• grief for lost early weeks and permission to choose differently

Resources:

Duluth Perinatal - perinatal mental health and parenting resources curated by a perinatal mental health therapist

My Connected Motherhood - Sleep consultants WITHOUT SLEEP TRAINING. Love them.

Nurture Neuroscience

Subscribing to our podcast and leaving us a review is one of the best ways for other people to find us. So if you enjoy what you are hearing or if it resonates with you, please subscribe and leave us a review. It would mean a lot.

Kirsten's Physical Therapy website

Mama You Belong Instagram

Kirsten's Instagram

Molly's Instagram

Molly’s music on bandcamp

Molly’s website