was mentally, sexually, physically and verbally abused by a forty year old man that I wasn’t related to. I was choked, have scars from lighter burns, I was hit and yelled at. It started when I nine but progressed worse, before my thirteenth birthday. I didn’t find God, God found me. I will admit I am not perfect, I have hurt others with my words. I have lashed my anger out. I made mistakes, but I always chose to do the right thing. To make amends and correct my mistakes, because you never know when you may need that individual again. I had the actual judge and lawyer come to my house, the judge personally delivered the verdict to me, because I couldn’t be in the same room. I hid my phone, but I collected evidence that could be used against him. I got a lifetime restraining order, and he can’t be in the same state as me. Having your door spilt I half infront of you, to see the rage of a man and no one is home to protect you. For years I didn’t tell my dad, not because I didn’t want him to know, I just didn’t want to lose him for doing something stupid. There is a type of guilt and shame that you carry, I became someone I didn’t recognize. I was the one to blame, I caused this or it was made this up for attention. That’s why many survivors don’t share their story. Many of us still look over our shoulders, because we will never feel safe. This was my low tide, but I eventually learned to break the chains and share my survival story. It still hurts, it still brings tears and my voice still shakes, I still have nightmares, but I am in better place. I never used my pain to hurt others. It took a lot of work to heal, even though once you leave that situation. You have to deal with the consequences it has on your health. You have to unlearn the bad habits and everything you learned while you were in survival mode. When you are in survival, you are a completely different person. Once you’re free, your punishment for things that you didn’t cause is the health problems that comes afterwards. You become sick because your body is so used to being survival mode. Matt Hearn was the first once who knows my story, because he did a sermon on this topic. I miss him, but I know he is in better place. I had so many wonderful people who are in my life, especially the one who is reading this. I haven’t forgotten the ones who have been there for me. Who stood up for me, even when I didn’t ask for it. I do appreciate it and I haven’t forgotten it. My relationship will always remain strong with the Lord, I am not perfect but I know I am forgiven even when though I don’t deserve it.