Lost in Translation: What Type 6's hear when you say "Don’t worry about it".
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About this listen
Damon & Kelly break down how well-meant reassurances land for Enneagram Sixes (The Loyalists). When you say “Don’t worry” or “It’s fine,” a 6 often hears “You’re on your own.” We cover why that triggers alarm (not trust), what it communicates beneath the surface, and the exact, better phrases that build safety, collaboration, and momentum.
What not to say to a 6:
- “Don’t worry about it.” / “It’s fine.” / “No big deal.”
- “You’re overreacting.” / “That’ll never happen.”
- “Trust me.” (with no details)
- Silence or moving on when they raise a concern
What to say to a 6:
- “Walk me through what you’re seeing - I want to understand.”
- “Thanks for flagging this; your questions help us both.”
- “Here’s what we know so far and the options (A/B). What risks do you see?”
- “Let’s map the risks and next steps together.”
- “You can trust me with this - you’re not on your own. When’s a good time to talk it through?”
- “We’re okay right now because [facts]. What did I miss?”
It works! : Sixes build security through transparency and partnership. Clear facts + shared problem-solving lowers threat and raises trust.
Reframe for Sixes: Is this lack of detail a real threat - or just a different communication style? Do I need more info, or absolute certainty no one can provide?
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