On the 26th of March 2026, the Institute for Fiscal Studies — one of the UK's most respected independent economic research institutions published a report on the economic consequences of gender-based violence. The headline finding: a permanent 12% drop in income for survivors of domestic abuse. Not temporary. Permanent.

In this episode, J'K responds to that report in real time. She connects the number to her own experience on both sides of employment navigating therapy, PTSD, court cases, and the daily performance of being fine. She traces a straight line from a legal doctrine written in 1736 to a report published this week. And she asks the question the data now makes impossible to avoid: who has been paying, and for how long?

KEY TOPICS

— The IFS report published 26th March 2026 and why it matters

— The 12% permanent income drop and what career scarring actually means

— The history of UK law written without women in mind — from 1736 to 2026

— The survivor tax as it falls on anyone surviving the unbearable and still showing up

— The employed experience: return-to-work pressure, mask-switching, and performing fine

— The freelance experience: invisible stress, no safety net, delivering anyway

— The Commitment Gap: why strategies exist but infrastructure does not

— IWD 2026: two themes, eighteen days apart — Give to Gain versus Rights, Justice, Action

— Safe leave, financial discretion, and named accountability in the workplace

— The Flow 60 framework and operating on a 58% deficit

— Dr Maya Angelou on defeat, rising, and knowing your own strength

— Reclaiming the 12%: from surviving the dark night to lighting it up

RESOURCES & REFERENCES

IFS Report — Economic Consequences of Gender-Based Violence (26th March 2026)

ifs.org.uk/articles/economic-consequences-gender-based-violence

Institute for Fiscal Studies — Homepage

ifs.org.uk

R v R [1991] UKHL 12 — House of Lords judgment abolishing the marital rape exemption

bailii.org/uk/cases/UKHL/1991/12.html

Istanbul Convention — Council of Europe key facts

coe.int/en/web/istanbul-convention/key-facts

UK ratification of the Istanbul Convention — House of Lords Library

lordslibrary.parliament.uk/istanbul-convention

UK VAWG Strategy — Freedom from Violence and Abuse (December 2025)

gov.uk/government/publications/violence-against-women-and-girls-strategy

The Commitment Gap — J'K Frederick, The Convening (2026) linkedin.com/in/jkfrederick

Domestic Abuse Safe Leave Bill — Parliamentary debate June 2025

bills.parliament.uk

SEO KEYWORDS

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I did not know there were two International Women's Days until I started asking questions.

When I came across the 2026 IWD theme, Give to Gain, I felt exhausted. Not inspired. Exhausted. And I needed to understand why.

So I pulled on the loose thread of my curiosity. What I found sitting underneath that theme, behind the purple banners and the cupped hands and the hashtag, is what this episode is about.

Who created Give to Gain? Who benefits from it? What does it mean that the organisation running the most visible International Women's Day platform is a private consultancy, not the United Nations? And why are some of the companies most visibly promoting this theme the same ones filing unexplained gender pay gaps?

This is not an anti-IWD episode. It is an invitation to think. To ask. To know the difference between a campaign that demands justice and one that asks women to give more.

I may be totally wrong. And I am okay with that. But what if I'm not wrong?

THEMES EXPLORED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The true origins of International Women's Day — 1908, 1909, and why March 8th was fixed in 1921 to honour the women of Petrograd

• The two IWD organisations happening on the same day, and why most people only know about one

• Who created the Give to Gain theme and who runs internationalwomensday.com

• The gender pay gap data behind the organisations publicly promoting the theme

• What the images on the Give to Gain campaign page communicate

• Purple washing, gaslighting, and performative allyship — the language for what you might already be feeling

• What it means to be a critical thinker in your own story

LISTENING CONTEXT:

This episode contains references to historical labour exploitation, gender-based violence statistics, and systemic inequality. There are no graphic descriptions. If something lands differently than expected, that is worth paying attention to.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• UN Women — official IWD 2026 theme: Rights. Justice. Action. For All Women and Girls — unwomen.org

• UK Gender Pay Gap Service — gender-pay-gap.service.gov.uk

• Angela Priestley, Women's Agenda (Australia) — 'Don't Give to Gain and get duped again this International Women's Day'

• Novara Media — 'internationalwomensday.com Is a Corporate Hijack'

• internationalwomensday.com — IWD 2026 Give to Gain Theme Page

• Aurora Ventures — aurora-ventures.com

This episode is for anyone who has ever followed a campaign without questioning it. For anyone who has felt something was off but could not name it. For anyone ready to think critically, in their own story, about what they consume and why.

EPISODE 11: WHO AM I? The Search for Identity

SHOW NOTES

Why do we keep taking personality tests? And what are we really searching for when we do?

In this episode, I explore the cultural obsession with identity, the origins of personality tests like MBTI, DISC, Human Design, and the Enneagram, and why external validation can never replace self-trust.

I share my own experience of taking personality tests after childhood sexual abuse fractured my sense of self — and what I've learned about rebuilding trust in my own knowing.

This episode is for anyone who's ever taken a personality test and wondered why they keep going back. For anyone who's searching for confirmation of who they are. For anyone learning to trust their own knowing.

THEMES EXPLORED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The etymology of "identity" and how the meaning shifted from "sameness" to "individuality" in the 1950s

• Why survivors of childhood trauma often seek external validation through tests and labels

• The origins of MBTI, DISC, Human Design, and Enneagram — and why they're considered pseudoscience

• The Barnum effect: why personality tests feel so accurate even when they're not

• The neuroscience of betrayal: how the amygdala tags trauma memories and disrupts self-concept clarity

• Why personality can change over time — and why tests can't capture growth

• The difference between using a tool and depending on one

• How to rebuild self-trust after it's been fractured by abuse, doubt, or external judgment

• The practice of looking inward first before seeking external confirmation

LISTENING CONTEXT:

This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, grooming, self-harm, and the impact of trauma on identity. If you're a survivor, please listen with care and take breaks if needed.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Erik Erikson's work on identity formation (1950s)

• Research on self-concept clarity and childhood sexual abuse

• The Barnum effect (Bertram Forer, 1948)

• René Mõttus on personality change over time

• Daniel Gilbert on being "works in progress"

This episode is for anyone who's ever taken a personality test and wondered why they keep going back. For anyone who's searching for confirmation of who they are. For anyone learning to trust their own knowing.

---

EPISODE LENGTH: 40 minutes

CONTENT WARNING: Mention of Childhood sexual abuse, grooming, self-harm, trauma - nothing explicit.

KEYWORDS: identity crisis, personality tests, MBTI, Enneagram, Human Design, DISC, StrengthsFinder, childhood sexual abuse, trauma and identity, self-concept clarity, external validation, self-trust, Barnum effect, pseudoscience, who am I, finding yourself, knowing yourself, trauma recovery, post-traumatic growth, healing from abuse, survivor identity, personal development, self-discovery, authenticity

© Like Me Officially Podcast | J'K | 2026

Lessons from Disclosing

Disclosure isn't what we're told it should be. It's not a cathartic release or a neat turning point. It's messy. It's waiting to see if the person you tell will actually hold your truth — or hand it back to you with questions.

In this episode, I share what I learnt at thirteen when I disclosed childhood sexual abuse to my mother, and what those lessons have taught me about silence, shame, accountability, and the doors we choose to open.

Themes Explored:

What disclosure actually means (linguistically and in lived experience) disclosure comes from the Latin claudere, meaning 'to close.' The prefix dis- reverses it. So disclosure literally means 'to open.'

The myth of "perfect timing" and why waiting didn't protect me — I had a plan to tell my parents after my summer holiday, but my dad died from bowel cancer before I could. There is no perfect time.

What happens when you're not believed — and the cost of being left alone with your truth. My mother's response was: "Are you sure? Once you say this, you can't take it back."

Why "are you sure?" is one of the most harmful responses a child can hear — it teaches them their voice is dangerous and that silence is safer.

How disclosure reveals human capacity, not moral character — disclosure doesn't sort people into good or bad. It reveals what they're able to carry.

The difference between accountability from systems and accountability to yourself — when the paedophile is found not guilty, there is no accountability for those actions. So I had to hold myself accountable to how I move forward.

Why silence doesn't protect — it just makes everything heavier. If I'd shared with more people earlier, more could have supported my truth. The secret didn't protect me.

The innocent and naïve strength I had at thirteen — before I absorbed the language, the labels, the expectations. That strength carried me when no one else did.

A Note on Listening:

This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse and the experience of not being believed or protected after disclosing. No graphic details are shared, but the emotional weight is real. Listen when you're ready. Step away if you need to. You matter more than this episode.

On December 18, 2025, the UK published its Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy. A 10-year commitment to halve violence. Within hours, I saw the same pattern: applause, promises, and a missing piece I know too well, coordination infrastructure.

I’ve spent a decade watching strategies give hope, then quietly fail because there’s no accountability to deliver them. No one is tracking who does what. No consequence when responsibility scatters and disappears.

In this episode, I explore what happens when coordination fails—not in policy documents, but in people’s lives. The retelling. The gaps. The fragmentation. I experienced it when I reported. Hundreds of thousands have experienced it. That’s not a coincidence. That’s design.

I’m sharing what accountability infrastructure actually looks like, why the UK won’t build it, and what it means to lead from informed concern rather than stuck anger. This is about pattern recognition and what happens when we choose to use what we’ve learned to improve experiences for those who come after.

Take what resonates.

Leave the rest.

J’K

Prevention doesn’t fail because we lack strategies.It fails because we refuse to be honest.

In this episode, I explore:

-What the manosphere really is — and what it isn’t

-How culture, profit, and silence intersect

-Why prevention can’t work without naming harm

-The myths we’re told about perpetrators

-Institutional power and moral accountability

-Unfinished stories, shame, and survival

-Where personal truth meets systemic failure

Listening note:This episode discusses sexual violence, online radicalisation, and institutional harm. Please listen at your own pace and take breaks if needed.

In this episode, I take a closer look at the UK’s 10-year strategy to end violence against women and girls through reflection, lived insight, and questioning rather than instruction.

Themes explored:

- Reduction versus eradication

- The gap between policy and lived reality

- Institutional responsibility and design failure

- Who gets protected — and who gets left behind

- Urgency, tolerance, and time

- The idea of “the village” beyond sentiment

Listening context:Best listened to with space. This is a reflective episode — not background noise.