Some people, (like us two!), are quite risk averse, but we are drawn to people who look like they are having more fun than us. If we want to be seen as fun, or popular, not to miss out then we can find ourselves doing things that we don’t feel comfortable with. If we aren’t aligned with our values then that really feels uncomfortable.

We can also find ourselves staying in contact with family members who are not good for us, who may be abusive. There can be lots of societal pressure on what it means to be a family, and that can make it really hard to put in boundaries that can support us.

The start point here might be to ‘zoom out’, to get some perspective on the impact of this relationship. This can help us to feel a sense of control, to be able to act in a way that is congruent with our needs, values and beliefs.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss how we can sometimes have a sense that we are about to be in trouble, without even knowing why. This can come from different sorts of parenting/authority figures and is a mechanism to keep us safe, it’s just a maladaptive one, and seems to come from a sense of loss of control. We are primed to get into a fluster, and then our inner critic can kick in and we start to catastrophise.

We discuss ways of managing this like noticing the sensations that arise in those moments (which is easier said than done) and then to ask ourselves whether it is true or not. ‘It’s probably ok, it usually is’ has become a bit of a mantra for us both, and something we share with our clients.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.