Community is a lifeline, especially when parenting gets hard. In this episode, co-host Andy Nelson gets vulnerable and shares his personal story of moving from a strong, stable community to a new city where he and his wife, Emily, felt isolated and alone.

Andy shares how this experience of being without a "safety net" forced them to intentionally build a new community and how this journey shaped their family's values. He also tells the powerful story of a season of hardship when their community stepped in to help, and how this act of being cared for redefined his understanding of what it means to both give and receive help.

Episode Highlights

• [01:30] Andy shares his background, growing up in a close-knit, loving community and family.
• [04:00] Andy's story of moving 600 miles away from home and the shock of finding himself without a community.
• [07:00] The pivotal moment when a small act of kindness helped transform their family's isolated season.
• [08:50] How Andy and Emily intentionally built a new community and how their different personalities contributed to that.
• [14:00] Why building a "deep" community is more important than having "thin" relationships.
• [21:10] The power of being a "helper" and how a season of needing help taught him to receive from others.
• [23:00] The profound impact of community on family health and well-being.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: You Are What You Love by James K.A. Smith
• Non-profit: Promise 686

Gen Z is the most connected generation in history, but they're also experiencing an unprecedented epidemic of loneliness. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford, a Senior Fellow at the Barna Group, about her research on teen mental health and the critical role that community plays in our well-being.

Dr. Shackelford shares why virtual connection often leads to thin, surface-level relationships and why in-person community is vital for a healthy family. You'll learn about the profound impact of church attendance on mental health, the value of intergenerational relationships, and practical ways to model and build real, meaningful connections for your children.

Episode Highlights

• [01:30] Dr. Shackelford shares her background and family life at Eagle Ranch, complete with a Great Pyrenees and 80 chickens.
• [02:45] A broad overview of her research on the Gen Z mental health crisis and the six main contributors.
• [04:20] Why the "most connected" generation is also the loneliest and the difference between thin and thick community.
• [07:00] The powerful role of the church in fostering mental well-being and a sense of purpose.
• [14:00] The importance of intergenerational relationships, and why every youth needs five key older adults in their life.
• [15:30] Practical ways for parents to help their kids practice community, from putting away screens to serving together.
• [21:00] The value of being transparent with your family and modeling the kind of community you want to build.

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Resources Mentioned

• Guest: Dr. Stephanie Shackelford - stephshackelford.com
• Research Report: The Barna Group https://www.barna.com/mental-health/

Some parents care for a few children; others care for 39. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with John and Cassie Adams, a couple with a big heart for children, who have welcomed dozens of kids into their home through fostering and house-parenting.

John and Cassie share how their wildly different family upbringings and personality types have influenced their approach to parenting. They discuss their experience with a "strong-willed" child and how it pushed them to discover the true balance of nurture and structure. This episode is a powerful conversation about finding your own parenting balance, leaning into outside support, and why sometimes, taking a step back is the most loving thing you can do.

Episode Highlights

• [01:10] John and Cassie share their family of origin stories and introduce their family of three biological children, and the 39 they've cared for in 15 years of marriage.
• [04:20] The motivation behind their decision to step into foster care and how their purpose has evolved over time.
• [08:55] The Adams discuss discovering the balance of nurture and structure and how it's not a one-size-fits-all solution for every child.
• [13:00] Cassie shares a personal story of taking a step back from "grade monitoring" and how it created a healthier family dynamic.
• [16:50] John and Cassie explore the difference between training and controlling, and how sometimes you have to let go to let them learn.
• [20:00] Advice for single parents and why seeking outside community and counseling is so important.
• [24:00] The first steps to take if you're a parent who feels like what you're doing isn't working.

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It's one of the most practical and powerful tools in parenting: nurture and structure. But what does it actually look like in real life? In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by John Cunnings, the Boys' Program Director at Eagle Ranch, who has over 20 years of experience applying this model in real homes.

John helps us understand the importance of balancing love and connection (nurture) with boundaries and rules (structure). He shares how the choice and consequence model is a fundamental tool for this, and he gives parents a step-by-step guide to implement it. Get ready for some deeply practical advice, including a "400 parenting average" analogy and the power of a simple apology.

Episode Highlights

• [03:00] John shares his background as a military kid and a single parent raising two girls.
• [05:00] Defining the essential balance of nurture and structure in parenting.
• [06:30] Introducing the choice and consequence model and its foundation in training, not control.
• [08:00] The difference between discipline and training, and how one leads to true growth.
• [12:30] How to set up a choice and consequence system in your own home in three practical steps.
• [16:00] An explanation of "porch time" and how it creates opportunities for connection and reflection.
• [26:00] The "400 parenting average" and why you only need to be right 40% of the time to have a positive impact.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry

No family is a perfect mix. In fact, most are beautifully complicated. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by John and Julie Price, a couple with uniquely different upbringings who came together to raise their own sons and care for hundreds of boys at Eagle Ranch.

John, the middle child of 13 kids from a dairy farm, and Julie, a last-born missionary kid who grew up in Brazil, open up about the challenges and rewards of their family and house-parenting journey. They share deeply personal stories about learning to relinquish control, embracing vulnerability, and the transformative power of a simple apology. This episode is a powerful reminder that every family has a dynamic to navigate and that authenticity is the key to building real connection.

Episode Highlights

• [01:10] John and Julie introduce themselves, their radically different backgrounds, and their roles at Eagle Ranch.
• [06:20] How their diverse family histories prepared them for a life of working with children and families.
• [11:00] Julie's personal story of learning to love without control while house-parenting seven teenage boys.
• [17:00] The powerful impact of apologizing to your children and teaching them to ask for forgiveness.
• [21:00] Practical tips for parents of adolescent boys, including why they crave respect and authenticity.
• [25:50] A heartwarming story of a son's vulnerability and a powerful conversation on trust.

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What does it really mean to have a healthy family dynamic? In this episode, we're joined by licensed professional counselor and family expert, Philip Costa, who helps us uncover the powerful ways our history and our day-to-day lives shape our families.

Philip shares how personal trauma, loss, and even birth order can influence our parenting in ways we're not always aware of. He introduces the powerful concept that what's not revealed is not healed, and gives listeners a clear path to begin addressing their own family dynamics. You'll also learn the difference between training and controlling your child, and why giving yourself grace is the first step toward creating lasting change.

Episode Highlights

• [01:10] Philip introduces himself and shares his personal story of loss, adoption, and being a blended family.
• [03:10] Defining family dynamics and how they impact every family, regardless of its unique makeup.
• [05:50] How to begin identifying your own family's dynamics and the importance of being aware of them.
• [12:20] Philip explains why what's not revealed isn't healed and how unresolved issues can get transferred to your children.
• [14:15] An explanation of the difference between training your child and controlling them.
• [23:00] Philip's top three pieces of advice for parents feeling overwhelmed and seeking to create change.

Resources Mentioned

• Book: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry
• Connect with us! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to share your story or suggest a topic for a future episode.
• Help us grow! If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review to help other families discover our podcast.

In last week’s episode, we learned from an expert about how our childhoods and family history can impact our parenting. This week, our co-host Kelly Brewer gets vulnerable and shares her own deeply personal story of how her upbringing shaped her journey as a parent.

In this powerful episode, Kelly dives into her "happy, carefree" childhood and reveals the underlying emotional challenges she faced. She candidly shares her own moments of desperation, poor choices, and self-loathing, and how a surprising moment of grace changed her life forever. This episode is a raw, real, and inspiring testimony that no one is beyond hope.

Episode Highlights:

• [01:39] Kelly shares her family of origin story as the baby of the family.
• [03:58] The hidden truth beneath a "happy-go-lucky" childhood.
• [07:22] How seeking happiness in the wrong places led to a deep, dark spiral.
• [12:28] The breaking point and a pivotal moment of finding grace and forgiveness.
• [18:08] A crisis in adulthood that led to a new season of healing and growth.
• [21:07] How Kelly’s parenting changed as she began to address her own history and patterns.
• [25:50] An encouraging reminder: It’s never too late to parent your kids or find healing.

Don’t Miss Out!

• Want more? Listen to Part 1 of this discussion with our expert, Molly Hughes.
• Join the conversation! Connect with us on Facebook and Instagram and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.

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• If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.

Do you ever feel like you're reacting to your kids in a way you never intended? You're not alone. Our own history and childhood experiences often shape our parenting more than we realize.

In this powerful episode of It Takes a Family, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by licensed professional counselor and dear friend, Molly Hughes. As a counselor at Eagle Ranch's Wing Center, Molly has seen firsthand how understanding your personal story is the first crucial step toward whole-family healing. She unpacks the core question: How does the family you grew up in impact the family you lead now?

You’ll learn why it’s so important to explore your past, what a genogram (or family tree on steroids) can reveal about your family's patterns, and how birth order might be a key piece of your parenting puzzle.

Don't miss a single episode!

• Subscribe to It Takes a Family and follow along each week as we dive in to bring hope and practical ways to heal.

Episode Highlights:

• [01:10] Introducing our guest, Molly Hughes, and her experience at Eagle Ranch.
• [02:29] Molly shares her personal family story, from her childhood to her current family of eight, including twins and adopted children.
• [05:58] How important is it to understand your own personal history and story?
• [08:52] What is a genogram, and why is it a powerful tool for self-discovery?
• [11:51] Does birth order really matter, and how does it impact your personality and parenting style?
• [16:50] How to find introspection and begin exploring your story without a therapist.
• [21:20] A common family dynamic and the challenge of seeing ourselves clearly.
• [23:00] The science behind why your early childhood experiences matter.

Links & Resources:

• Connect with us! We’d love to hear from you. Find us on Facebook and Instagram.
• Learn more about the work of Eagle Ranch at EagleRanch.org.
• If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review to help other families find our podcast!