Is violence ever justified? Instead of giving a simple answer, we slow things down and look at what is really happening underneath these moments. We talk about how stories in the media and culture often leave out important context, especially when it comes to abuse, survival, and who gets believed.

We also explore how abuse is often only recognized when it becomes physical, even though harm can show up in many other ways that are harder to see or talk about.

This conversation is about learning to sit with complexity, especially in situations where the truth is not clear-cut.

Primary Topics:

• Reactive Abuse: What reactive responses can look like in situations of harm

• What is DARVO: How stories get flipped in the media and who is seen as the “victim” or “abuser”

• Understanding Domestic Violence: Why emotional and psychological harm is often overlooked

• The Risks of Being a Whistleblower: What it can cost people to speak out or tell the truth

• Systems of Power: How systems and social narratives shape who is protected and who is not

• Inequity in Justice: Why justice does not always look or feel equal for everyone

Practical Healing Tools:

• Learning how to hold self-responsibility without harsh self-blame

• Understanding your emotional and body responses to stress or danger

• Getting more clarity on unhealthy or confusing dynamics

• Building support outside of relationships that feel unsafe or isolating

• Noticing how shame can cloud your ability to see clearly

• Remembering that doing everything “right” does not always guarantee safety

• Coming back to what feels grounded and true for you

Our goal is not to give you simple answers, but to help you slow down and think more clearly about situations that are often rushed or oversimplified.

There is a lot of pressure in the world to immediately decide who is right and who is wrong. But real life is often more complicated than that, especially when harm, power, and survival are involved.

So take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and move gently with yourself as you reflect on this episode.

So, join us each month for a new theme in our unhinged exploration of trauma, power, and what it really means to heal.

And remember, you are not the problem…unless you are.

Ways to Connect & Support:

• If you love the show, the best way to support it for free is by listening daily, leaving a review, and subscribing or following in your favorite podcast app

• Sign up for Doris’ upcoming workshops:

• • Get Beyond Burnout: Not Your Usual Wellness Workshop on April 18th, 2026 at 9a and May 13th, 2026 at 7p REGISTER: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/events

• Download Some Freebies!

• • Read the Get Better Sleep E-book from Doris: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/full-shop/p/thewinddown

  • Check Out Camille’s Self-Love Tarot Spread: https://camille-a-saunders.kit.com/selflovespread

  • Relax & Listen to Isabella’s Self-Protection & Emotional Boundaries Meditation: https://heal.risebeyondtrauma.org/

• Email us your thoughts, questions, feedback, and more at: nottheproblempod@gmail.com

Learn More About Your Podcast Hosts:

Camille A. Saunders: https://www.camilleasaunders.com/

Doris Taylor: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/
Isabella Koepf: https://risebeyondtrauma.org/