If we had a nickel for every time someone with a penis said, "My partner's pleasure is the most important thing to me," we'd all be rich.

Sounds noble. But most of the time, they mean: "I need them to get off so I can feel like I'm good in bed."

In this episode of Sex IRL, Stacey breaks down the difference between generosity as performance vs. presence. Making your partner's orgasm is your scorecard effs up the experience.

In this episode:

• Why "Did you come?" is often about anxiety, not attention

• How ego-driven performance kills presence (and pleasure)

• The difference between "I need you to feel good" and "I want to be with you while you feel whatever you feel"

• What happens when both people are managing feelings instead of actually feeling

This one's direct. And yes, we're mostly talking about people with penises. But it's really about anyone who's turned sex into a performance to avoid feeling like a bad lay.

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📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind
https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/